Ah, guilt. 
I'm from Sydney, Australia. I'm 42 years old and single, and I've been living in the US for the past 15 years. My father, who's 72 years old, and my sister, who's 33, both live in Sydney.
I'm sure this topic comes up all the time (I posted a similar topic a few years ago), but living in the US causes me a great deal of guilt. My relationship to my father and my sister seems to somewhat differ from other people I've spoken to. They don't feel as much guilt, they don't communicate with them as much and their general attitude seems to be that they live their lives, and I'm entitled to live my life the way I want. Family is important though and while I really prefer living in the US to Australia, it still can't shake the feeling.
You know... maybe it's not even guilt. Maybe it's loneliness. I am single, and friends aren't easy to make in the US. I have no one to fall back on here, like I would with family. It's definitely easier to make friends in Australia, but I realize that moving back there wouldn't necessarily solve that issue.
I was having a fairly good day today. I had a meeting with my psychologist where she iterated that I don't owe my father and my sister anything (which I sorta feel I do I guess), and that it's my choice to live my life the way I want. I called my sister tonight and she throws one of the dreaded 'so when are you moving home?' questions. I've come to hate these, and I'm reaching the point where they are pissing me off more than making me feel guilty. Every time she does this, it takes me from sitting on the fence on the issue to suddenly wondering why I should even bother continuing to date, try to make friends here (which obviously I've not done so well at), work on my career, play tennis, go ballroom dancing or even bother to get out of bed tomorrow.
Knowing that I might have to go (involuntarily) back to Australia at some point makes it really hard for me to plan for a future in the US. I've either got to commit to living in the US, commit to Australia, OR... commit to being ok with spending 11 months of the year in the US, and one month of the year (or more) in Australia hanging out with family, freezing my life, and generally being bored out of my skull.
So frustrated.
Doug
I'm from Sydney, Australia. I'm 42 years old and single, and I've been living in the US for the past 15 years. My father, who's 72 years old, and my sister, who's 33, both live in Sydney.
I'm sure this topic comes up all the time (I posted a similar topic a few years ago), but living in the US causes me a great deal of guilt. My relationship to my father and my sister seems to somewhat differ from other people I've spoken to. They don't feel as much guilt, they don't communicate with them as much and their general attitude seems to be that they live their lives, and I'm entitled to live my life the way I want. Family is important though and while I really prefer living in the US to Australia, it still can't shake the feeling.
You know... maybe it's not even guilt. Maybe it's loneliness. I am single, and friends aren't easy to make in the US. I have no one to fall back on here, like I would with family. It's definitely easier to make friends in Australia, but I realize that moving back there wouldn't necessarily solve that issue.
I was having a fairly good day today. I had a meeting with my psychologist where she iterated that I don't owe my father and my sister anything (which I sorta feel I do I guess), and that it's my choice to live my life the way I want. I called my sister tonight and she throws one of the dreaded 'so when are you moving home?' questions. I've come to hate these, and I'm reaching the point where they are pissing me off more than making me feel guilty. Every time she does this, it takes me from sitting on the fence on the issue to suddenly wondering why I should even bother continuing to date, try to make friends here (which obviously I've not done so well at), work on my career, play tennis, go ballroom dancing or even bother to get out of bed tomorrow.
Knowing that I might have to go (involuntarily) back to Australia at some point makes it really hard for me to plan for a future in the US. I've either got to commit to living in the US, commit to Australia, OR... commit to being ok with spending 11 months of the year in the US, and one month of the year (or more) in Australia hanging out with family, freezing my life, and generally being bored out of my skull.
So frustrated.
Doug
