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I am a married mother of 4 in the US. We live in Washington state. My husband is Swedish- he's been in the US for over 10 years now, so he's very used to it.

A little history:
He and I met over the internet in '98. After him spending some time here and me spending some time there we mutually decided we would start out our lives together in the US. I had 2 small kids from my first marriage and we just seemed to think it would be easier for us to make a go of it here. We said from the very start that someday we would live in Sweden.

This is where the mention of my husband being very used to it here comes into play. He grew up in a very small town- he and his family are very timid, introverted and "unexposed"- knowing what I know now about him I have to wonder how on earth he got up the nerve to move from Sweden to here! Anyway, that aside, he does not want to move. We *just* moved from Colorado to WA state and just that took years and years on my part of trying daily to get it through to him. Originally it was the desire to 'move to Sweden'- but I got no where with him on that and I knew I needed to move so after much trying and frustration and being let down I decided moving to WA state would be the best bet.

Well now that we're here, I hate it. I mean I love the privacy, I love the lack of people and traffic, I like our house- but that's just about where the enjoyment ends. I loathe the rain, I feel it zapping the life out of me. We live in a very rural area and that is very isolating. I feel like I am in heaven when it is a sunny day and we are at the beach, but those days are very few and far between and I really don't want to live my life hoping for a sunny day so I can crawl out of the dark hole I get pulled into most days.

To try to make a long story a little shorter I will get to the point. I am at a crossroads in my life. My kids are all in school now- I don't have a job and have never had a career. I am unhappy. I know I am much more unhappy here than I was in Colorado. But I also know it was me who pushed so hard to make the move out of there.

My whole life I have had a desire to live overseas. I have always known that was for me. I am trapped. My husband is my chain holding me back. I love him, I really do, but we are so different and obviously want very different things. He is content just staying put- forever- he is far to analytical and won't hear me on my needs to make a change. Every time I bring it up he shuts down, he thinks a move abroad would be "terrible for the kids", "way too difficult" "a financial disaster" and on and on.

I don't know what to do. I know I need to live overseas. I know that much. But where, how, etc is beyond me. And to top that off I don't have my husband's support at all in the matter.

I know couples counseling is in order and I am planning on it.

But I also have a need to do this for myself. I want to research, decide on a place, find a way (job?) and make it possible and then tell him this is what I'm doing. If he can't find anything to argue about in the matter then I think he would be on board. I know to most (all?) people that seems really cruel and such a life move needs to have all involved on board, but he won't even talk to me about it. He won't help me see if it might be a possibility, he won't even consider it. And I can't live my life not doing something I know I need to be doing just because my other half is not all for it:(

Anyone out there been through something similar? Any tips or ideas? How do I even go about deciding where to live and how to do that? I don't know of many international companies- how can I go about researching that?
 
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