I have been living in ph for 2 years now, i got married and im still in love with the woman, the problem is the country, everywhere i go is poluted, dirty, men pissing everywhere like dogs it realy get on my nerves etc, if you are rich, more then 2000 per month you can stay in subdivision and stay there, and think that life is wounderfull, but it aint my case...... where can i go and live on a 1000 a month budget with my ph wife? Vietnam? Laos, thai etc, got any leds please?
Where Should I Go
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Lol... Yep welcome to the Philippines Rodoudou it gets worse but you'll get used to it and at my 2 year mark I felt the same way and probably worse about this place, I also live with the general population near Los Banos Laguna, things didn't turn around for me until my 5th year and I begun to accept and find a way to enjoy my life and it's possible you just eventually will find a way.
Hang in there it gets better just find an affordable spot and make it as clean as you can and your own little sanctuary, you'll be okay just focus on your new family.
Hang in there it gets better just find an affordable spot and make it as clean as you can and your own little sanctuary, you'll be okay just focus on your new family.
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6,115 Posts
Howdy Rodoudou and welcome to the forum,
MCA is right. You have been here long enough that the "rose colored tourist glasses" have come of and there is much that's driving you nuts.
It's normal for most everyone to go through this. Most people adjust eventually while a few do end up leaving for home.
I don't know of any place in country (except for very small-undeveloped islands) where these things don't happen.
It's really true, eventually you'll end up not seeing it happen most of the time. Ya just don't notice it.
You haven't said what area of the country you are in. We are in Central Luzon and this is a normal occurrence here as well. I've lived here going on 15 years now and just accept the bad things.
There are some nice subdivisions in this and other local areas that would be within your budget where these things do not happen.
Like MCA said, hang in there. Don't give up. Take the time to really shop around for different areas to live here.
Going to another country isn't the answer as there are many things in those other Asian countries than you find here. Take a deep breath and enjoy what you can and learn to live with the rest.
Best Of Luck
MCA is right. You have been here long enough that the "rose colored tourist glasses" have come of and there is much that's driving you nuts.
It's normal for most everyone to go through this. Most people adjust eventually while a few do end up leaving for home.
I don't know of any place in country (except for very small-undeveloped islands) where these things don't happen.
It's really true, eventually you'll end up not seeing it happen most of the time. Ya just don't notice it.
You haven't said what area of the country you are in. We are in Central Luzon and this is a normal occurrence here as well. I've lived here going on 15 years now and just accept the bad things.
There are some nice subdivisions in this and other local areas that would be within your budget where these things do not happen.
Like MCA said, hang in there. Don't give up. Take the time to really shop around for different areas to live here.
Going to another country isn't the answer as there are many things in those other Asian countries than you find here. Take a deep breath and enjoy what you can and learn to live with the rest.
Best Of Luck
Thank you for your comments, im taking note! I lived in cebu, liloan away from the resorts! I prefer live near the local people and not like i was livi g back home!
I was thinking to moving to dumaguete or bacolod if i stay in ph if those places doesnt give me satisfaction i will move to vietnam i think. So far i stayed 32 years in canada, 12 in france, 2 in ph, some time in africa but nothing beats the asian welcome, when you are lucky enought not to fall on scamers!
Im trying to be blind and not see whats going on around me but its hard, very hard specialy with my rage agains religions
I was thinking to moving to dumaguete or bacolod if i stay in ph if those places doesnt give me satisfaction i will move to vietnam i think. So far i stayed 32 years in canada, 12 in france, 2 in ph, some time in africa but nothing beats the asian welcome, when you are lucky enought not to fall on scamers!
Im trying to be blind and not see whats going on around me but its hard, very hard specialy with my rage agains religions
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Understood for sure. Was just thinking; some of the places that might fit the bill would be in areas where there are inexpensive subdivisions that are close to malls and perhaps the ocean as well.
The areas outside of the old US Navy base at Subic Bay come to mind. Barangay Barretto for one as well as Subic City. There are apartments by the beach that would be affordable for you. Great area and many-many good stores and restaurants on Subic Base as well as places in the areas that you would be living.
Could be possible that your better half might want to work to contribute to the income. In those areas there is employment in many fields that she might enjoy.
The religious thing would in most cases be hard to escape and perhaps with your better half as well. It can be a sticking point in a relationship but can be dealt with if they are allowed and even encouraged to enjoy their faith without involving you.
Anyway, there are quite a few places that might work for the two of you. Searching together can be half the fun and pay of in the end.
Jet Lag
PS. I don't know your age but there are some countries that you CAN NOT collect Social Security when old enough. Vietnam is one of those countries so be sure to get all info before finding a place to drop anchor..
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Religious grounded country
Then my final issue would be to provide a big religious happening but I won't do that anymore and so we basically celebrate with a very nice meal, for my immediate family only, that's another subject that I could talk about for days.
I agree with Jetlag it's important to have at least a happening for your wife it's very important and you won't need to get involved.
Philippines is a very religious country and well with no divorce it does have the benefit of keeping the family together or I feel couples will work much harder at staying together and like you mentioned people are very welcoming... and also grounded in religious events but for me I feel any discussion on religion with citizens here wouldn't be something I wouldn't want to get into, I'll avoid that in a friendly manner without insult, my personal view only.
Then my final issue would be to provide a big religious happening but I won't do that anymore and so we basically celebrate with a very nice meal, for my immediate family only, that's another subject that I could talk about for days.
I agree with Jetlag it's important to have at least a happening for your wife it's very important and you won't need to get involved.
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234 Posts
I am an Athiest but i go to church with the little woman , her and her sister have a thing about visiting churches !
Regarding living in this lovely country,
I am used to the little quirks here, yes i can see guys urinating in the drains just up the road,
I can see chickens standing on the roofs of the homes across the road.
But then i look out the back windows and there is Laguna De Bay !
A short drive and there is the sprawling grounds of the University.
Comparing the UK life to my life here in Paradise the Philippines winds hands down.
Regarding living in this lovely country,
I am used to the little quirks here, yes i can see guys urinating in the drains just up the road,
I can see chickens standing on the roofs of the homes across the road.
But then i look out the back windows and there is Laguna De Bay !
A short drive and there is the sprawling grounds of the University.
Comparing the UK life to my life here in Paradise the Philippines winds hands down.
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726 Posts
Hi Rodoudou,
I felt the same way as you do now about the life in the Philippines. I do think what bothered me the most when I first came there was the guys standing everywhere pissing. Then all the noise bothered be also. After awhile I got use to ignoring the guys going to the bathroom everywhere. the noise still bothers me but not that much. I am from the USA and I am fed up with all the bull cr*p going on here in my country. The lawyers have destroyed what we use to stand for here. It has gotten to the point we are afraid to do anything because we will get sued and lose everything. At least there in the Philippines I can have a peace of mind and live a life I want to have there. When I compare the 2 countries I find the Philippines has won out over the USA. You have to get use to their way of life. Do don't have to accept it but rather ignore it.
Art
I felt the same way as you do now about the life in the Philippines. I do think what bothered me the most when I first came there was the guys standing everywhere pissing. Then all the noise bothered be also. After awhile I got use to ignoring the guys going to the bathroom everywhere. the noise still bothers me but not that much. I am from the USA and I am fed up with all the bull cr*p going on here in my country. The lawyers have destroyed what we use to stand for here. It has gotten to the point we are afraid to do anything because we will get sued and lose everything. At least there in the Philippines I can have a peace of mind and live a life I want to have there. When I compare the 2 countries I find the Philippines has won out over the USA. You have to get use to their way of life. Do don't have to accept it but rather ignore it.
Art
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1,564 Posts
You might try up the coast from Liloan. Some years ago I spent some time in Danao and it wasn't so bad. Just my opinion, but all around, you have picked just about the worst area (Cebu) to compare what the phils are. Keep in mind "HAPPY WIFE-HAPPY LIFE" too. What is her thoughts on uprooting to another country. Most Filipinas seem to be proud to be of Philippine nationality, though I can't really see why considering the overall situation of this country. You do have to learn to turn a blind eye to quite a few circumstances, but realize this is their country and we are not going to change it to our liking. The other places you have mentioned have their Pros & Cons also. As to the Religious aspect, my Asawa is a lifelong Catholic and I am a lifelong Presbyterian. I used to attend church with her but have stopped as I have realized more & more how much control the Roman Catholic church has on this country. I realize that it is still a holdover from when the Spanish used the church to control the people here, and I do not go along with it. I've said enough on that subject.
Fred
Fred
Hi Rodoudou,
A lot of us go through this I think... for me about the 2 year mark also.
As others have said, the rose tinted glasses fall and things start to get on your nerves.
My suggestions (and your mileage may vary):
1. I spent the first 2 years with only my wife and her family/friends as my friends. When Philippines was new that was good. But more recently I have met a lot of other expats and I meet up once a week with these new friends, which gives me a bit of respite.
Friendships are important and sometimes it's hard to make friends with Filipinos as the culture and language is different, whereas I have found I can make friends with other expats easily, even if we are far apart in age and background etc.
2. Find some meaningful work. Depending on your budget it might not be necessary in order to eat and put a roof over your head, but it will give you something to do each day to keep busy.
3. Go abroad for a week or two, give yourself a break. Recently I went back to UK for the first time in a couple of years, saw family and friends, ate English food, and since I got back here I feel a lot more positive. If you dont fancy going back to your home country, take the wife on a holiday somewhere.... not a long term fix but helps to put things into perspective.
That's just my two cents.
A lot of us go through this I think... for me about the 2 year mark also.
As others have said, the rose tinted glasses fall and things start to get on your nerves.
My suggestions (and your mileage may vary):
1. I spent the first 2 years with only my wife and her family/friends as my friends. When Philippines was new that was good. But more recently I have met a lot of other expats and I meet up once a week with these new friends, which gives me a bit of respite.
Friendships are important and sometimes it's hard to make friends with Filipinos as the culture and language is different, whereas I have found I can make friends with other expats easily, even if we are far apart in age and background etc.
2. Find some meaningful work. Depending on your budget it might not be necessary in order to eat and put a roof over your head, but it will give you something to do each day to keep busy.
3. Go abroad for a week or two, give yourself a break. Recently I went back to UK for the first time in a couple of years, saw family and friends, ate English food, and since I got back here I feel a lot more positive. If you dont fancy going back to your home country, take the wife on a holiday somewhere.... not a long term fix but helps to put things into perspective.
That's just my two cents.
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