[jojo]

I've been a bit preoccupied and quiet on the forum since the weekend as we were having a major family crisis/discussion/war/rows, tears - all our issues came to a head! My 12yo daughter went back to the UK and returned to Spain kicking and screaming cos she wanted to stay in the UK! Also we'd come to a decision that the school fees were too much for us to handle and my husband was finding the travelling to Spain and his work load in the UK too much (he's never settled in Spain)

So should we go back to the UK, should we take the kids out of international, should we split the family and OH and daughter live in the UK and my son and I stay in Spain?? We've literally been arguing, crying, talking, pulling our hair out all weekend!


Anyway, the final decision has been made and my daughter IS now going to a state school!! Tomorrow will be her first day! The school wasnt easy to get into as we dont live in the catchment area. It looks to me like a really nice school its an IES school and is clean, modern and in a nice area!! She's sitting here now terrified, but happy! We've decided that she's gonna give it til next June and if she finds it too difficult and isnt happy,, then we go back to the UK, which is her real preference!

Jo xxx

 

[Pesky Wesky]

I've been a bit preoccupied and quiet on the forum since the weekend as we were having a major family crisis/discussion/war/rows, tears - all our issues came to a head! My 12yo daughter went back to the UK and returned to Spain kicking and screaming cos she wanted to stay in the UK! Also we'd come to a decision that the school fees were too much for us to handle and my husband was finding the travelling to Spain and his work load in the UK too much (he's never settled in Spain)

So should we go back to the UK, should we take the kids out of international, should we split the family and OH and daughter live in the UK and my son and I stay in Spain?? We've literally been arguing, crying, talking, pulling our hair out all weekend!


Anyway, the final decision has been made and my daughter IS now going to a state school!! Tomorrow will be her first day! The school wasnt easy to get into as we dont live in the catchment area. It looks to me like a really nice school its an IES school and is clean, modern and in a nice area!! She's sitting here now terrified, but happy! We've decided that she's gonna give it til next June and if she finds it too difficult and isnt happy,, then we go back to the UK, which is her real preference!

Jo xxx

Jo, I'm so glad to hear that you're not going back. Your daughter obviously takes after you cos she's got determination:boxing: and she's giving it her best go, so well done to her. :lol:
Of course she's terrified - I would be!! But really, not all schools have to be like the one she went to before. My daughter is very happy at her secondary school and the teachers are pretty nice too so it can all work out, and it's certainly not too late in the year for her to join in and make friends although of course it may take time.
Wishing you all the best,
Hope that this time everything will work out
PW

 

[jojo]

Jo, I'm so glad to hear that you're not going back. Your daughter obviously takes after you cos she's got determination:boxing: and she's giving it her best go, so well done to her. :lol:
Of course she's terrified - I would be!! But really, not all schools have to be like the one she went to before. My daughter is very happy at her secondary school and the teachers are pretty nice too so it can all work out, and it's certainly not too late in the year for her to join in and make friends although of course it may take time.
Wishing you all the best,
Hope that this time everything will work out
PW

Thanks PW, the scary thing is, the state school starts at 8.15!!! EEEEKKK!!! I'm used to a 9.30 start at the international!!!

Jo xxx

 

[Tallulah]

Thanks PW, the scary thing is, the state school starts at 8.15!!! EEEEKKK!!! I'm used to a 9.30 start at the international!!!

Jo xxx

I know we've had a chat about this before Jo , but I just wanted to say all the best to Ruby for her starting at the new school tomorrow. I know girls of that age are extremely determined and stubborn (where do they get it from?!?) but I'm hopeful that this will be the right (and hopefully final) move for her...just get into discussions pdq with the teachers (esp. apoyo teachers) and see what they can offer Ruby as support to get her settled. If she knows she's got until next summer, she may hold you over a barrel....but hopefully it won't come to that??? Really hoping it all works out for all of you.

Tally.xxx

 

[Caz.I]

Thanks PW, the scary thing is, the state school starts at 8.15!!! EEEEKKK!!! I'm used to a 9.30 start at the international!!!

Jo xxx

Glad she managed to get a place, and hope it works out for her. Good luck to the both of you.

Caz.I

 

[maxd]

For god sake go back to the UK! Never see your husband, your daughter wants to be in the UK. If your husband was there then ok, but it seems insanity for "your dreams".

What are you doing! Everyone else will tell you to hang in there, it will get better but it all seems a bit unstable to me. The sacrafices someone will do for a bit of sunshine eh?

 

[Pesky Wesky]

For god sake go back to the UK! Never see your husband, your daughter wants to be in the UK. If your husband was there then ok, but it seems insanity for "your dreams".

What are you doing!

Ignoring you I hope!!

 

[Xose]

For god sake go back to the UK! Never see your husband, your daughter wants to be in the UK. If your husband was there then ok, but it seems insanity for "your dreams".

What are you doing! Everyone else will tell you to hang in there, it will get better but it all seems a bit unstable to me. The sacrafices someone will do for a bit of sunshine eh?

You really have an eye for the detail don't you? - In all matters it would appear.

JoJo has another child with a year left of secondary education here in Spain. A small concideration for you perhaps, but quite a major one for adults.

Xose

 

[jojo]

For god sake go back to the UK! Never see your husband, your daughter wants to be in the UK. If your husband was there then ok, but it seems insanity for "your dreams".

What are you doing! Everyone else will tell you to hang in there, it will get better but it all seems a bit unstable to me. The sacrafices someone will do for a bit of sunshine eh?

When you write advise (which I wasnt actually asking for), you should understand the whole story and its very obvious you dont. This is what we as a family have been discussing - We need to make informed choices and not listen to those who havent a clue about our circumstances and issues!

One example of what I mean is our three dogs wouldnt be able to go back until May at the earliest due to having to wait the statatory 6 months for their passports. I'm not sure my kids or the family could live with the idea of leaving 3 very precious family pets who have been with us since they were puppies in the UK and are now 9 years old! - thats one very simple problem, altho we have discussed having them "put down"! trust me, there are several other issues

Jo

 

[XTreme]

Glad you've got a solution for the moment Jo,

My take on this is that your daughter is not old enough to make an informed decision on where her life is going to be better.

We know the answer to that.....and it's a no brainer.....so you have to make the decision for her.

An International School is not the answer.....you're paying a small fortune for it.....plus you're sending out a message that you don't want to live in the same way as the Spanish. Effectively, you're creating a divide.

Now if she had a nice horse it would turn her life round here.....she'd have a real tie to Spain, she'd have a great interest and a reson to be here, and make her loads of new friends.

Remember....I can get you a deal from Horses Andalucia.....this is where we keep the horse and donkey.

 

[Veronica]

jojo I am so glad you have managed to come to an agreement.
I know you have had a hard time trying to make the right decision for everyone.
Maybe by the time next June comes around your daughter will have settled and you wont have to go back at all. But at least it gives you time to get the dogs passports renewed so that you can take them back with you if it comes to that.

Veronica

 

[Hombre]

Go where your heart takes you Jo..........

 

[XTreme]

Go where your heart takes you Jo..........

Can't see a trip to Marks and Spencers is going to help Hombre.

 

[maxd]

When you write advise (which I wasnt actually asking for), you should understand the whole story and its very obvious you dont. This is what we as a family have been discussing - We need to make informed choices and not listen to those who havent a clue about our circumstances and issues!

One example of what I mean is our three dogs wouldnt be able to go back until May at the earliest due to having to wait the statatory 6 months for their passports. I'm not sure my kids or the family could live with the idea of leaving 3 very precious family pets who have been with us since they were puppies in the UK and are now 9 years old! - thats one very simple problem, altho we have discussed having them "put down"! trust me, there are several other issues

Jo

Ok Aplogies. You could always have your husband put down, that may solve some of the issues


I remember Liz Taylor never visited the Uk because of her dogs either. The UK law on quantine is abysmal. I have been living on the continent for 12 years and have yet to come across a rabid animal.

 

[jojo]

Well as the title of my post says we're sorted for now. What also has to be taken into account is the mentality of 12 year old girls!!! We couldnt all pile back just on her latest whim, a week in England with her old friends is one thing, she was the novelty that they all wanted to see. Moving back there wouldnt have the same effect, the school in the UK she'd HAVE to attend isnt the one her friends go to (catchment area issues) and is pretty awful, so unless she could go to "that" school she didnt want to go back. And I know my daughter, I'd give it a month tops before she'd be whining that she didnt like it there anymore and could we go back to Spain now!!!??! She loves it here to you know

Funny how these family "discussions go, cos like you Max, I was the one saying lets go back, I cant cope being on my own, watching OH work his butt off, getting stressed commuting, seeing Ruby miserable, the cold in the winter in Spain - it was OH and my son (AND my daughter when she thought about it) who were trying to work out ways of staying!!

Then of course, if we went back, we'd have to kick our older children out of the family home - no big deal at their ages, but it would need to be done with some thought!

Having OH put down!! now theres a thought, would his life assurance pay out tho LOL?????



Jo xxxx

 

[jkchawner]

Well as the title of my post says we're sorted for now. What also has to be taken into account is the mentality of 12 year old girls!!! We couldnt all pile back just on her latest whim, a week in England with her old friends is one thing, she was the novelty that they all wanted to see. Moving back there wouldnt have the same effect, the school in the UK she'd HAVE to attend isnt the one her friends go to (catchment area issues) and is pretty awful, so unless she could go to "that" school she didnt want to go back. And I know my daughter, I'd give it a month tops before she'd be whining that she didnt like it there anymore and could we go back to Spain now!!!??! She loves it here to you know

Funny how these family "discussions go, cos like you Max, I was the one saying lets go back, I cant cope being on my own, watching OH work his butt off, getting stressed commuting, seeing Ruby miserable, the cold in the winter in Spain - it was OH and my son (AND my daughter when she thought about it) who were trying to work out ways of staying!!

Then of course, if we went back, we'd have to kick our older children out of the family home - no big deal at their ages, but it would need to be done with some thought!

Having OH put down!! now theres a thought, would his life assurance pay out tho LOL?????



Jo xxxx

i hope its something u can all sort out jo when we met u both u and ruby looked to be doing fine in spain. now normaly i would say go with your heart but i tend to side with extreme. i feel u and your oh have to call the shots on this one due to rubys age. good luck in whatever u decide,
but how happy would u all be back in the uk ?
the cash bit u mention school fee's etc must be hard to find all the time. i think in all honesty your biggest divide in the family is hubbys business in the uk. the hours involved in travling and stress from being apart etc etc
all the best in sorting this out to all of u.

 

[jojo]

thanks for all your replies! and the reason for my originally posting this is to say sorry for not being around much on here and sorry if I've come across a tad grumpy!!

Xtreme, I know what you're saying about international schools, but we chose the most "spanish" we could find, it really isnt like a "little Britain" school like so many of the others we looked at, its more of an international school for the Spanish, cos the spanish like the idea of their kids being educated to be bilingual - we saw it as a "half way house" as IMO our children at 11 and 13 were a bit too old to get thrown in the deep end - maybe we were wrong??? but hindsight's a wonderful thing isnt it!!!!!

The one thing we did work out during this weekend of "discussion" is actually the ammount of money the move to Spain has cost us - so keep that thought in mind any "wannabe expats" reading this. Not counting the school fees, simply the move and moving out here into a rented property has cost us several 1000€ and apart from the car (which has depreciated) and a few bits of furnture, none of it can be recouped - and then the cost of moving back to the UK wouldnt be cheap either!


Anyway, now we have a plan and providing there are no more economic or family crisis' We are set to stay til next summer and from there we'll review the situation! Hopefully it will be to sell the UK house and OHs business and .....??????????????????????????????


Jo xxx

 

[maxd]

http://www.phase3southampton.co.uk/news

You from Soton? Can understand not wanting to go back

 

[jojo]

http://www.phase3southampton.co.uk/news

You from Soton? Can understand not wanting to go back

LOL!! Thats where OHs business is, we're actually from Worthing! Which isnt any better!!!! BTW, I didnt take offense at your post telling me to go back, I understand what you were saying, I've been saying exactly that to the family, but as you well know, nothing is that simple!!


Jo xxx

 

[XTreme]

You can't leave.....Spain won't be able to fulfill it's quota of dumb blondes!