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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi everybody,
Im in the uk on spouse visa, my partner is british citizen and i have a baby girl who is british also, i have been abused by my partner several times, first it was only verbal then slowly slowly he started beating me up etc now everytime there is a issue he beat me up so much and even treats me with knives ...
Yesterday over little thing he got angry on me and he started beating me up and punched my mouth, every time something happens he takes my phone so I don't contact the police yesterday I managed to hide the phone and I called them but I couldn't speak because he was coming to the room but luckily they came after 30 mins and they have arrested him
Now I don't know what to do I don't have family or friends here and I don't know the law either, the police said that because the house( mortgage) is on his name i wont be able to stay but for the time being I can
Did anybody experienced this before I don't know what's gonna happen to me and the baby I don't have anywhere to go
 

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Hi everybody,
Im in the uk on spouse visa, my partner is british citizen and i have a baby girl who is british also, i have been abused by my partner several times, first it was only verbal then slowly slowly he started beating me up etc now everytime there is a issue he beat me up so much and even treats me with knives ...
Yesterday over little thing he got angry on me and he started beating me up and punched my mouth, every time something happens he takes my phone so I don't contact the police yesterday I managed to hide the phone and I called them but I couldn't speak because he was coming to the room but luckily they came after 30 mins and they have arrested him
Now I don't know what to do I don't have family or friends here and I don't know the law either, the police said that because the house( mortgage) is on his name i wont be able to stay but for the time being I can
Did anybody experienced this before I don't know what's gonna happen to me and the baby I don't have anywhere to go



Refuge - Domestic Violence Help | Domestic Abuse Charity

0808 2000 247 freephone 24 hour phoneline

You can also speak to your GP, Health Visitor. They can also help you get support.
If you are not entitled to any public funds there are a few refuges in the UK that can help. refuge.org will be able to advise.

You maybe entitled to a restraining order again refuge will be able to help you with that. While he is arrested you are safe. Make calls and try to arrange help as soon as possible. get a grab bag of ID, passports, visa, resident permit, birth certificates, bank statement a few clothes and baby items. If you can't have this at home is there anywhere you can leave it, a neighbour possibly.

Go and speak to your neighbours, ask them if they hear any shouting, arguing etc to call the police if he is let out. They can do it annonimously.

You maybe able to get into supported refuge accomodation within 24 hours.

good luck xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
He got arrested yesterday but they have let him out today but they ve called me and explained that he cant come to the house or call me and that we will have to go to the court after 1 or 2 weeks.
Now im worried about whats gonna happens next for the baby and me as i dont have anybody at all here and somebody said to me that they will just put us in a women refugee and we will have to stay there all the time and that the conditions there are horrible... i dont know what to do and my baby is only 9 months as the house is his so we will have to leave as soon as he wants to come back to it
 

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I am sorry you are in this distressing situation. I would still advise you to contact Refuge using the links given in previous posts. Did the person who told you how awful the conditions in Refuge were, come up with any other ideas? I guess it depends on the outcome of the court appearance in a couple of weeks as to how you will be able to look after yourself and your baby in the future, but, in the meantime, you need help. Do let us know how you get on and if you get the help you need.
 

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He got arrested yesterday but they have let him out today but they ve called me and explained that he cant come to the house or call me and that we will have to go to the court after 1 or 2 weeks.
Now im worried about whats gonna happens next for the baby and me as i dont have anybody at all here and somebody said to me that they will just put us in a women refugee and we will have to stay there all the time and that the conditions there are horrible... i dont know what to do and my baby is only 9 months as the house is his so we will have to leave as soon as he wants to come back to it


Some refuges have places where a number of women stay together, some have smaller places where just 2 people may stay in a smaller house. I used to work in a refuge. What is important is that you and the baby are safe. Once an abuser loses control things can escalate and your risk of harm is increased. You maybe at the refuge for a few months while they work to protect you and the baby, help with accomodation, benefits, etc this does take a while wether you are in a refuge or not. You will be able to go out and women are always surprised how much support they get from other people who are in the same situation.

You could contact your housing association and explain you are a victim of abuse they will advise you fill in a housing application. If you get evidence from health visitor, dr etc it will help. If your ex contacts you, is outside the house, trys to get in etc, call the police and always get a crime reference number. Keep the doors and windoews locked, refuge organistion will be able to help you with more information.

You have at least a week where you can arrange for you and the baby to be in a place of safety. The refuge organisation will go through risk assessment and safety planning to make sure both you and the baby are safe while he is no longer under arrest.

Good luck and stay safe
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I went to the council today and they contacted the women refugee but they said that they can only help if the sociale services will get involved as im not allowed to public funds so i dont know what to do, im in the house now but he may want his house asap and i will be homeless me and the baby.
 

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I went to the council today and they contacted the women refugee but they said that they can only help if the sociale services will get involved as im not allowed to public funds so i dont know what to do, im in the house now but he may want his house asap and i will be homeless me and the baby.
not having access to public funds is huge issue with people escaping domestic abuse but refuge do help with this. Call your health visitor and try to see your GP, they should be able to help you with social services.

It is hard trying to talk to people when you are in the middle of an abusive situation but it is important you get help as quickly as possible as you are both in danger. I can't stress that enough and it will show social services you are trying to protect your baby. You have had some serious physical abuse and are now in the situation where it often becomes unpredicable.

Sadly 1 in 3 women experience abuse and 8 women a month are killed in the UK by their partners.

Good luck
 
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