Expat Forum For People Moving Overseas And Living Abroad banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 20 of 61 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
101 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Hello Every one !!

I don't know I am on right platform to ask this question or not but I feel like I must ask may be I got good advice from you people..

Background:


I am Pakistani National married with a a girl who is USA green card holder and got EU citizenship as well. our relation in almost now 9 years and we married last year May 2014 in court marriage Pakistan. as this marriage is court marriage and her family was not happy with this marriage. but after marriage my in laws get agree that they gonna arrange a marriage ceremony and then they will do it properly so every one can involve. so I send my wife back to USA but after this its up to 10 months now they just trying to make me fool and they don't even want to send her back. as we already marriage and she want to come here and live with me but her parents are not allowing her she is very upset. she can't go out side with out her family.

my question is that which plat form is best to raise this issue and I can get my wife back.

I talk to USA embassy in Pakistan Karachi, and they very miss behaved with me and insult me when I share this issue with them and they said that I am not allowed to ask here and I have wasted there time and that was really very awkward moment for me that I can't raise my issue in front of USA embassy.

If any one advice me regarding this issue that would be very help full for me.



Please have a look on my request and give me some guidelines.

regards

fasi
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
6,189 Posts
I'm not sure I understand the issue. If your wife wishes to rejoin you in a particular place, she will, provided she legally can. If she doesn't, she won't. It's her decision to make -- and re-make every day, for that matter. Of course you can and should offer financial support (for example, buy her a plane ticket) and immigration help (for example, your sponsorship of her visa, as applicable). Love, affection, and respect certainly wouldn't hurt either.

Her family may have influence over her decision, even considerable influence, but she's an adult (I assume) with free will. I assume they're not holding her in a dungeon. ;)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,465 Posts
If your wife is over 18 she is free in the US to do and go where she wants
her parent cannot stop her

The US consulate of course cannot help you ... you wife is American ..she has free will
something she cannot have in Pakistan

there is no platform to help you its a private matter
and pergaps its she that does not wish to be a chattel
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
101 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
If your wife is over 18 she is free in the US to do and go where she wants
her parent cannot stop her

The US consulate of course cannot help you ... you wife is American ..she has free will
something she cannot have in Pakistan

there is no platform to help you its a private matter
and pergaps its she that does not wish to be a chattel
Hi Davis

thanks for your reply. actually she wanted to join me as we did court marriage so her family was not agree before but we did with our own court marriage then her family agreed on one thing that I she came back USA then they will arrange marriage ceremony and send he back. but this was a trick to get back her home usa. now she is very tensed and she don't allowed to go out side with out her family. I know she have rights but the problem is that her family is stopping to use her rights. she wants to live with me. and thats why I am raising the issue but I am not getting any direction how to do.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
33,612 Posts
Hi Davis

thanks for your reply. actually she wanted to join me as we did court marriage so her family was not agree before but we did with our own court marriage then her family agreed on one thing that I she came back USA then they will arrange marriage ceremony and send he back. but this was a trick to get back her home usa. now she is very tensed and she don't allowed to go out side with out her family. I know she have rights but the problem is that her family is stopping to use her rights. she wants to live with me. and thats why I am raising the issue but I am not getting any direction how to do.
If she really is being held against her will by her parents, then the police should be involved. However, how do you know for sure???? Do you speak to her?

Jo xxx
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
101 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
What does your wife want to do?

Jo xxx
Hi jojo thanks for your asking,

she wants to live with me. we did court marriage against her family because her family was not giving her right to do marriage with me. that's why we did our own and she came Pakistan. but after that her parents realize that we did marriage and in relatives its break down there respect so they made a trick and told her that if she came back to USA then they will arrange a marriage ceremony and send her back. we admitted this advise and thought they are parents and they are not lying but after that they stop her and its now 10 months she want to come we talk every day . but her family not allowing her to come back. even she can't move out side with out her parents. as they think may be she go again and join with me. so that's the problem how to resolve and where to raise this issue.

I hope you understand ..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
101 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
If she really is being held against her will by her parents, then the police should be involved. However, how do you know for sure???? Do you speak to her?

Jo xxx
yes we are in contact every day even she just talk to me 2 hours before and she is very upset. I told her that her parents not allowing her to come back then after 1 week I will involved police in this matter.

I respect her parents feelings but I guess her parents are not respecting her daughters feelings.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
33,612 Posts
yes we are in contact every day even she just talk to me 2 hours before and she is very upset. I told her that her parents not allowing her to come back then after 1 week I will involved police in this matter.

I respect her parents feelings but I guess her parents are not respecting her daughters feelings.
She needs to involve the police if she is being held captive, as she is the one who has the alleged problem, not you since you're not in the country

Jo xxx
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
101 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
I'm not sure I understand the issue. If your wife wishes to rejoin you in a particular place, she will, provided she legally can. If she doesn't, she won't. It's her decision to make -- and re-make every day, for that matter. Of course you can and should offer financial support (for example, buy her a plane ticket) and immigration help (for example, your sponsorship of her visa, as applicable). Love, affection, and respect certainly wouldn't hurt either.

Her family may have influence over her decision, even considerable influence, but she's an adult (I assume) with free will. I assume they're not holding her in a dungeon. ;)
Hi BBC

i am really sorry if you not understand my issue as my english is not that good.

she is my wife and her parents are holding her at home and she is very tensed now what to do. as she have not free rights to move from her home thats the main problem as her family think that may be she go back to Pakistan and join me. as she wants to.


you can see other message I replied to jojo and davis hope this will help more.
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
36,385 Posts
Hi jojo thanks for your asking,

she wants to live with me. we did court marriage against her family because her family was not giving her right to do marriage with me. that's why we did our own and she came Pakistan. but after that her parents realize that we did marriage and in relatives its break down there respect so they made a trick and told her that if she came back to USA then they will arrange a marriage ceremony and send her back. we admitted this advise and thought they are parents and they are not lying but after that they stop her and its now 10 months she want to come we talk every day . but her family not allowing her to come back. even she can't move out side with out her parents. as they think may be she go again and join with me. so that's the problem how to resolve and where to raise this issue.

I hope you understand ..
as has already been said - if she wants to leave she can - if they stop her then she can call the police

she's an adult with free will - she doesn't need you to do it for her
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
101 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
She needs to involve the police if she is being held captive, as she is the one who has the alleged problem, not you since you're not in the country

Jo xxx
yea thats right. that's the main problem that she have no rights from her home. well

thanks for your suggestion as I am also thinking the same thing. as we don't wanted that any thing bad happen but I think if her parents not gonna agree then we have to involve police in this case now.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
33,612 Posts
yea thats right. that's the main problem that she have no rights from her home. well

thanks for your suggestion as I am also thinking the same thing. as we don't wanted that any thing bad happen but I think if her parents not gonna agree then we have to involve police in this case now.
She has rights in her home unless she has been kidnapped and that is a serious offence. The fact she is able to speak freely with you suggests that she could just as easily have called the police - or even alerted local friends that she is in trouble.

Its a newsworthy crime in the USA if someone is held hostage or against their will, even by their parents if they are over the age of consent

Jo xxx
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
101 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
She has rights in her home unless she has been kidnapped and that is a serious offence. The fact she is able to speak freely with you suggests that she could just as easily have called the police - or even alerted local friends that she is in trouble.

Its a newsworthy crime in the USA if someone is held hostage or against their will, even by their parents if they are over the age of consent

Jo xxx
Thanks jojo,

your advise give me more understanding for how to resolve this issue. I will update you after the progress.

many thanks every one
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
6,189 Posts
At age 24 she's an adult in every U.S. state.

While we're mentioning unusual possibilities (for example, the crime of kidnapping), it is theoretically possible for an individual to be declared legally incompetent and entrusted to the care of a guardian, such as a parent. A court has to do that. Someone with a very serious mental impairment might end up in that category. In that rare case she could legally be restrained from running off to a foreign country. In certain cases law enforcement has the power to restrict her movement.

Back to reality, though, it sure sounds like she either hasn't decided to depart (for whatever reasons, for example the high emotional and even financial cost of angering a family member) or has decided but hasn't broken the bad news to you yet. In either case, it's her decision.

I was a bit old fashioned and asked my (then future) wife's parents for permission (or "permission") to marry her. At the time it was a bit of a joke, but now, upon reflection, maybe not!
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
49,836 Posts
OK, maybe more importantly, what nationality is your wife? If she holds a green card, she obviously is not a US citizen, which explains why the US Consulate can't really do anything.

I take it that her parents are also green card holders. And that it's primarily a cultural thing that she feels she can not go against their wishes. In the US, as an adult, she has every right to simply leave her parents' house, get on a plane and return to you in Pakistan (as long as she has the appropriate visa and/or passport). If she feels her personal safety is in jeopardy if she does so, she should find a women's shelter in the area and contact them for assistance in getting out of her parents' house where they can't reach her.

Or, since you mentioned your plans to go with her to the UK on an EEA FP, perhaps she has a European nationality. In that event, she could try contacting that Consulate in the US to see if they can help her. It may be easier for her to go on ahead to the UK and then have you join her there (assuming you're the one for whom the FP is needed).
Cheers,
Bev
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,370 Posts
OP's wife is 24, resident in Texas, communicates with him at length on a regular basis. Assuming her family is really restricting her movements - why does she not contact local law enforcement?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
627 Posts
I fear that everyone may be missing an important fact here: what is the wife's original nationality/religious and cultural background? The original post says she is a, "USA green card holder and got EU citizenship" but she could easily be of Pakistani or other middle-Eastern descent.

Yes, in the US she is an adult and has the right to do as she pleases, but her parents (and brothers?) may have far more control over her actions than is being assumed in this thread.
 
1 - 20 of 61 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top