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Snakes, spiders, crocodiles, sharks and drunk white males, find out why Australia is the most dangerous travel destination going.

It’s been said very reasonably that ‘just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean everyone isn’t out to get you’ – well, for anyone with even a slight persecution complex, travel in Australia is loaded with the worst nature has to offer as every reptile, insect and mammal is out to get you.

Forget travel insurance, the creatures below won’t leave you alive long enough to make the claim.

1. Sharks

Jaws ruined the ocean for anyone with a delicate nature. The big, beautiful blue was instantly transformed into a blood bath just waiting to happen. The paranoid backpacker has only to put his head under the water in Australia to hear cello music and if he’s snorkeling, then the sight of his own flipper is liable to appear as a fin and give him a heart attack anyway.

2. Box Jelly Fish

In most places around the world, jellyfish represent a nuisance, a pest to swimmers whose stings can leave nasty welts that suggest a tendency for S&M. In Australia, however, the box jellyfish kills. It’s that lethal. In fact, in Northern Australia no one enters the ocean at all at certain times of year when the box jellyfish cruise by.

3. Crocodiles

Unless you’re traveling with Mick Dundee, the traveler in Australia needs to think twice before washing his face in even the most innocent stream. Just because it looks like a log doesn’t mean it is.
And to top it all, Australia has saltwater crocodiles so you’re not even safe from them in the sea. That’s just not playing fair.

4. The Funnel-Web Spider

Wouldn’t you know it but the world’s most poisonous spider likes to hang out just under the toilet seat, waiting to sink its fangs into your tush. Get bitten by one of these tiny arachnids and you’re history unless you get anti-venom pronto. If you’re living in Australia and you see any webs in the shape of a funnel, move apartment.

5. Snakes

Tiger snakes, brown snakes, death adders, mulga snakes, king brown snakes and, of course, sea snakes – the ocean being the favourite place that Australia tries to kill you. Australia has over 100 venomous snakes and 12 are lethal.

Of course some experts say that snakes are not out to get you but the Bible tells us differently.

6. Dingos

Camp around settlements in the desert and don’t be surprised if you wake to the sound of growling. While the authentic dingo is a softy, many have bred with wild dogs and they come at the traveler in vicious, rabid packs.

7. Bull ants
There you are, enjoying a sunset or gazing out at the psychedelic colours of a tea tree lake and the next thing you know a guerilla squad of bull ants have charged your feet, hands, anything they can and are biting for all they’re worth. These *******s even jump you as you’re walking along.

8. Kangaroos

Yeah, everyone knows kangaroos are cute, thanks to Winnie the Pooh. But corner one in a dark alley after a long night of drinking and you’ll be meeting a heavyweight boxer with attitude. In addition, they try to crash into cars as they charge along at 30mph.

9. Poisonous Cane Toads

Cane toads were introduced in a ludicrously disastrous effort to control the cane beetle. Now there’s around 100 million poisonous cane toads in Australia and they’re moving in on the cities. Nor is the milky white toxin even psychedelic so forget about licking them.

10. Australian Drunks

Of course, no creature is to be feared quite so much as the beer-drinking Australian who suddenly decides that you’re ‘up yourself’ and it’s up to him to teach you a lesson. These aggressive mammals hang out in bars and street corners and their habitat is often littered with discarded ‘tinnies’ of Foster Beer. Smile, hail a taxi and don’t whatever you do, make eye contact.


i am very afriad , Please coments on this.
 

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Snakes, spiders, crocodiles, sharks and drunk white males, find out why Australia is the most dangerous travel destination going.

It’s been said very reasonably that ‘just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean everyone isn’t out to get you’ – well, for anyone with even a slight persecution complex, travel in Australia is loaded with the worst nature has to offer as every reptile, insect and mammal is out to get you.

Forget travel insurance, the creatures below won’t leave you alive long enough to make the claim.

1. Sharks

Jaws ruined the ocean for anyone with a delicate nature. The big, beautiful blue was instantly transformed into a blood bath just waiting to happen. The paranoid backpacker has only to put his head under the water in Australia to hear cello music and if he’s snorkeling, then the sight of his own flipper is liable to appear as a fin and give him a heart attack anyway.

2. Box Jelly Fish

In most places around the world, jellyfish represent a nuisance, a pest to swimmers whose stings can leave nasty welts that suggest a tendency for S&M. In Australia, however, the box jellyfish kills. It’s that lethal. In fact, in Northern Australia no one enters the ocean at all at certain times of year when the box jellyfish cruise by.

3. Crocodiles

Unless you’re traveling with Mick Dundee, the traveler in Australia needs to think twice before washing his face in even the most innocent stream. Just because it looks like a log doesn’t mean it is.
And to top it all, Australia has saltwater crocodiles so you’re not even safe from them in the sea. That’s just not playing fair.

4. The Funnel-Web Spider

Wouldn’t you know it but the world’s most poisonous spider likes to hang out just under the toilet seat, waiting to sink its fangs into your tush. Get bitten by one of these tiny arachnids and you’re history unless you get anti-venom pronto. If you’re living in Australia and you see any webs in the shape of a funnel, move apartment.

5. Snakes

Tiger snakes, brown snakes, death adders, mulga snakes, king brown snakes and, of course, sea snakes – the ocean being the favourite place that Australia tries to kill you. Australia has over 100 venomous snakes and 12 are lethal.

Of course some experts say that snakes are not out to get you but the Bible tells us differently.

6. Dingos

Camp around settlements in the desert and don’t be surprised if you wake to the sound of growling. While the authentic dingo is a softy, many have bred with wild dogs and they come at the traveler in vicious, rabid packs.

7. Bull ants
There you are, enjoying a sunset or gazing out at the psychedelic colours of a tea tree lake and the next thing you know a guerilla squad of bull ants have charged your feet, hands, anything they can and are biting for all they’re worth. These *******s even jump you as you’re walking along.

8. Kangaroos

Yeah, everyone knows kangaroos are cute, thanks to Winnie the Pooh. But corner one in a dark alley after a long night of drinking and you’ll be meeting a heavyweight boxer with attitude. In addition, they try to crash into cars as they charge along at 30mph.

9. Poisonous Cane Toads

Cane toads were introduced in a ludicrously disastrous effort to control the cane beetle. Now there’s around 100 million poisonous cane toads in Australia and they’re moving in on the cities. Nor is the milky white toxin even psychedelic so forget about licking them.

10. Australian Drunks

Of course, no creature is to be feared quite so much as the beer-drinking Australian who suddenly decides that you’re ‘up yourself’ and it’s up to him to teach you a lesson. These aggressive mammals hang out in bars and street corners and their habitat is often littered with discarded ‘tinnies’ of Foster Beer. Smile, hail a taxi and don’t whatever you do, make eye contact.


i am very afriad , Please coments on this.
Useless Blabber!!
 

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Yes, very true. Every morning I don my full body hazmat suit, fight my way past the bull ants, jump over the black adders hiding in the bush, then tackle my kangaroo so I can ride to work (no cars for me, Skippy is my mode of public transport).

Seriously, car accidents will kill you faster than any of the above 'natural' causes of death you named above.
 

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I think the point is that there are scary issues about anywhere in the world you may live! Even man made things can be fatal. You simply have to be vigilant, use common sense but dont let it affect your life or you wouldnt do anything or go anywhere and even then your roof could fall on you in your own home


Jo xxx
 

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honestly, i thought this was just a joke. i was laughing my ass off as i was reading it. yes they covered some serious points, but it was exaggerated and sarcasm was used to get the point across that oz is full of things that can be dangerous but you gotta live your life and it is really not a bad place to live. they just took the fears of future expats and tourists and made it sound even worse. really not that bad, dude. don't be scared. its just a joke.
 

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1. Sharks

These guys are everywhere, not just australia - be prepared to get eaten whenever you dip into the ocean. In fact there's lots of ocean life that can kill you not just sharks. If they scare you buy a pool, or if you really need to swim in the ocean swim at beaches with shark nets - they exist in most popular cities. Or just take the risk - the chances of getting attacked are very minor and the australian oceans, fish, sealife, coral and deep is an amazing thing to behold. Most aussies do it, suck it in, get over it and take the dip.

2. Box Jelly Fish

Yep they exist, so what - there are heaps of dangerous jellyfish in the ocean worldwide. Wear a wetsuit it you are a wimp or you can even put on your wifes pantyhose to protect you - who knows you may take a liking for it. Buy some vinegar or be prepared to get stung - it happens.

3. Crocodiles

Pretty simple this one. Dont live near crocodiles - this typically is in remote places up north in the tropic zone - nowhere near sydney, melbourne, perth, adelaide, brisbane etc. If you are tempted to swim in a crocodile infested river - then dont.

4. The Funnel-Web Spider

What a load of lies sir. This spider lives in a hole underground and hunts ground dwelling food. It goes no where near the toilet seat you tw&t. The red back spider likes the toilet seat. well actually this is a urban myth. It used to like the toilet seat when toilets used to be located out in the backyard. But nowadays with most toilets within the house they rarely make an appearance. A good cleaning strategy will eradicate most unwanted pests anyway.

5. Snakes

Sea snakes live up north in the tropical climates!! unless you intend to live up there I wouldnt worry yourself. Most of the others hate humans and scurry away when they hear you coming, we have antidotes - loads of antidotes - so dont worry. The trick is, if you see them leave them the hell alone and dont muck about with them.

6. Dingos

Huh? What are these? 32 years living in australia and I never saw a single one. They live in the bush mate - the outback - with the snakes - unless you are thinking of going walkabout you will never see them. If you do they will run the heck away from you because they know humans kill them.

7. Bull ants
Yeah! Ants are ants buddy. If you are bl00dy stoopid enough to put your picnic down on bed of bullants then you deserve a few nips. They dont hurt much anyway, you little girl. You see, they are bigger than normal ants, that means they are easier to see - that means they are easier to avoid. simples.

8. Kangaroos

Boy the amount of times I left the club late at night drunk and got cornered in a city alley by a rampant crazed big red kangaroo it would shock you. Let my talk simply - KANGAROOS LIVE IN THE BUSH MATE, NOT THE CITY YOU TIT.

9. Poisonous Cane Toads

They are up north and spread from queensland across to the northern territory - they have not spread south to sydney, perth, melbourne, adelaide or anywhere of any concern. They are frogs for godsake grow up you child.

10. Australian Drunks

Yep true - but only cos you deserved it you pansy. Anyway our drunks are about as concerning as any other worldly drunk including india. :D

The thread sux cos you are presenting australia in a fearful light - which is absolute bollocks. People need to know the truth not slander.:)
 

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1. Sharks

Jaws ruined the ocean for anyone with a delicate nature. The big, beautiful blue was instantly transformed into a blood bath just waiting to happen. The paranoid backpacker has only to put his head under the water in Australia to hear cello music and if he’s snorkeling, then the sight of his own flipper is liable to appear as a fin and give him a heart attack anyway.
They are in the sea. If you swim on proper beaches and obey the signs then the chances of being attacked are slim. The few attacks always hit the headlines but the thousands of safe swimmers do not make it into the papers. "No-one killed again today by sharks" would be boring after a while :)

2. Box Jelly Fish

In most places around the world, jellyfish represent a nuisance, a pest to swimmers whose stings can leave nasty welts that suggest a tendency for S&M. In Australia, however, the box jellyfish kills. It’s that lethal. In fact, in Northern Australia no one enters the ocean at all at certain times of year when the box jellyfish cruise by.
They are only around at certain times of the year and again obey the rules at the beach.

3. Crocodiles

Unless you’re traveling with Mick Dundee, the traveler in Australia needs to think twice before washing his face in even the most innocent stream. Just because it looks like a log doesn’t mean it is.
And to top it all, Australia has saltwater crocodiles so you’re not even safe from them in the sea. That’s just not playing fair.
Only in certain areas - usually in the North. Never seen a crocodile after 2 years of being here in South Australia.

4. The Funnel-Web Spider

Wouldn’t you know it but the world’s most poisonous spider likes to hang out just under the toilet seat, waiting to sink its fangs into your tush. Get bitten by one of these tiny arachnids and you’re history unless you get anti-venom pronto. If you’re living in Australia and you see any webs in the shape of a funnel, move apartment.
Again not seen one after 2 years.

5. Snakes

Tiger snakes, brown snakes, death adders, mulga snakes, king brown snakes and, of course, sea snakes – the ocean being the favourite place that Australia tries to kill you. Australia has over 100 venomous snakes and 12 are lethal.

Of course some experts say that snakes are not out to get you but the Bible tells us differently.
Snakes have their hiding places that are known so you avoid them. We do have poisonous snakes down here but after 2 years still have to see one. We do avoid very long grass and wood piles - but that's in the country and we are in a regional area.


6. Dingos

Camp around settlements in the desert and don’t be surprised if you wake to the sound of growling. While the authentic dingo is a softy, many have bred with wild dogs and they come at the traveler in vicious, rabid packs.
Most of them are kept away by the dog fence. Again this relates to very rural areas!

7. Bull ants
There you are, enjoying a sunset or gazing out at the psychedelic colours of a tea tree lake and the next thing you know a guerilla squad of bull ants have charged your feet, hands, anything they can and are biting for all they’re worth. These *******s even jump you as you’re walking along.
Not sure where they are but haven't come across them yet.

8. Kangaroos

Yeah, everyone knows kangaroos are cute, thanks to Winnie the Pooh. But corner one in a dark alley after a long night of drinking and you’ll be meeting a heavyweight boxer with attitude. In addition, they try to crash into cars as they charge along at 30mph.
Do not drive in rural areas at night unless in a big 4x4 with protection. Kangaroos are not known in towns unless they are in zoos!

9. Poisonous Cane Toads

Cane toads were introduced in a ludicrously disastrous effort to control the cane beetle. Now there’s around 100 million poisonous cane toads in Australia and they’re moving in on the cities. Nor is the milky white toxin even psychedelic so forget about licking them.
Not sure where they are but haven't come across them yet.

10. Australian Drunks

Of course, no creature is to be feared quite so much as the beer-drinking Australian who suddenly decides that you’re ‘up yourself’ and it’s up to him to teach you a lesson. These aggressive mammals hang out in bars and street corners and their habitat is often littered with discarded ‘tinnies’ of Foster Beer. Smile, hail a taxi and don’t whatever you do, make eye contact.
They are nothing compared to my experiences of drunken in Brits which appear all over the world.

I have yet to come across the kind of drunken Aussie you are refering to!

I have answered this seriously since it seems it was posted seriously but like others I laughed and thought it was a joke!

In cities do not get most of the creatures you were talking about.

I HATE spiders (I used to run screaming from the room when I saw one in the UK) and yet I moved here and I'm happy here.

Regards,
Karen
 

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hahaha...I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the post..Not sure in what vein the author has written..but man if you were serious you need to stay put where you are...

Not going to argue against each point, but 2 years of blissful living in Aussie, I'm ALIVE! Crikey!

Well, the only time I got a teeny paranoid was when I was travelling in Queensland and would see signs for crocs all around..n oh I did go swimming in the sea when the jelly fishes were around..they had a protected area with nets to keep them out and if you stay in them you are fine!

And look..nature or human, don't disturb them and they won't disturb you..Keep it simple..

Hey I love an Australian Drunk..I've had great times with them..of course that included me drunk too...pfftt...

Enjoy yourself..more than worrying..Doesn't matter which place you are in, if your time's up then it is..Till then..Its Australia Mate! Cheers

:p
 
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