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Nice rant Mark, like it.
We, at least once a year, sometimes twice invite the family out to a nice restaurant, the direct family is 12 to 16 pax, we pay, all good, they don't invite us to fine eating houses because they can't afford it and appreciate being invited out. In saying this we we drop in to the outlaws every week or two (prior to C-19) and are always welcomed and fed, constantly invited to birthday celebrations, most times our contribution is a cake and a birthday card and fed well we are as well as the insisted take aways.

We are 35 minutes away from the family and relatives, they only visit if invited and respect our privacy but do expect for us to drop in to visit as we are mobile and often in the area. Ben sees his family twice as often as I do and he is happy, living on a different island would not be fair to him or his family, so far all working well.

There's my little rant to add to yours Mark.

Cheers, Steve.
 

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I have experienced my share of unexpected guest at outings and restaurants there. Once I invited my GF's sister and brother-in-law over to the small hotel we were staying at for a swim in the pool. the hotel charge per person to use it. they show up with 20 other family members and expected me to pay for all of them. Then I had an experience at a restaurant. I invented 3 people to dinner at the restaurant and they show up with 10 more. I had to pay for all this crap.

I can't believe Filipinos are not taught this is not polite to do this. Where do they get this ideal they can do this and expect the foreigner to pay for it?

Art
 

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I have experienced my share of unexpected guest at outings and restaurants there. Once I invited my GF's sister and brother-in-law over to the small hotel we were staying at for a swim in the pool. the hotel charge per person to use it. they show up with 20 other family members and expected me to play for all of them. Then I had an experience at a restaurant. I invented 3 people to dinner at the restaurant and they show up with 10 more. I had to pay for all this crap.

I can't believe Filipinos are not taught this is not polite to do this. Where do they get this ideal they can do this and expect the foreigner to pay for it?

Art
Been there and learnt my lessons 8 years ago, the better half also knows the rules when it comes to freeloaders,,,,,,,,, even uninvited cousins etc. Once bittern twice shy,,,, in my case a few times but not for years. They know I'm a hard ar*e and don't bother anymore because I speak my mind. Being retired also has its merits,,,,,, Steve is retired and not earning any income has been mentioned to our family so they appreciate what is given and nothing expected or asked.

It seems to be ingrained art, opportunism runs riot here and until the/your laws are put in place it won't stop but as said once every one is on the same playing field the BS stops.

I am going through similar junk with builders and engineers atm, 300K for equipment hire, what is this for or should I buy? no sir that's the hire fee. For what? No answer. 190K for OMC, what's this for? Oh that's for mistakes in our quote. I have been in business for 40 years and that's a new one for me, contingencies like these are absorbed into the quote. At the end of the day their quoted price, another also insist that this is an estimate and could cost more........... not a fixed price.

Though now officially retired I can see that I need to go back to work and employ locals that do the work and not some opportunist thinking I am dim. Looking forward to the challenge and sincerely hope Ben the interpreter is up for the next exciting episode.

Go get em art.

Cheers, Steve.
 

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Yes but I've found that for people who are supposedly without any means they're surprisingly mobile. lol
Bus and basic ferry travel is surprisingly cheap if you take the economy potion.

They only need fare to get to your place, then you will be expected to feed them, entertain them, buy them drinks and then to get rid of them pay high fare transport back home, they they will again take the economy option and pocket the difference.
 

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Bus and basic ferry travel is surprisingly cheap if you take the economy potion.

They only need fare to get to your place, then you will be expected to feed them, entertain them, buy them drinks and then to get rid of them pay high fare transport back home, they they will again take the economy option and pocket the difference.
Oh yes, I know the deal LOL
 

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I have experienced my share of unexpected guest at outings and restaurants there. Once I invited my GF's sister and brother-in-law over to the small hotel we were staying at for a swim in the pool. the hotel charge per person to use it. they show up with 20 other family members and expected me to pay for all of them. Then I had an experience at a restaurant. I invented 3 people to dinner at the restaurant and they show up with 10 more. I had to pay for all this crap.

I can't believe Filipinos are not taught this is not polite to do this. Where do they get this ideal they can do this and expect the foreigner to pay for it?

Art
You know when a person says I'm paying and the guest jokes then I'm getting steak and lobster...they really do it! lol
 

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Discussion Starter #27 (Edited by Moderator)
Family

I am new here and do not have any ties in the Philipines.
I assumed and not a given but the the Philipine culture is very family driven, My friend/GF is working in China and it is to help support them. I also assumed this was known factor for most dating and marrying a filipina. I know peopel in the states who have spouses and it is the same here.
Even a trip back there is mostly gifts from here.

Anyway it is way cheaper there to spend 30 bucks compared to here you get nothing. This is the allure of living there where 2k a month goes twice as far as here

Okay all done, dont jump down my [email protected]@ with both feet leave one out.
 

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I am new here and do not have any ties in the Philipines.
I assumed and not a given but the the Philipine culture is very family driven, My friend/GF is working in China and it is to help support them. I also assumed this was known factor for most dating and marrying a filipina. I know peopel in the states who have spouses and it is the same here.
Even a trip back there is mostly gifts from here.

Anyway it is way cheaper there to spend 30 bucks compared to here you get nothing. This is the allure of living there where 2k a month goes twice as far as here

Okay all done, dont jump down my ass with both feet leave one out.
And you are correct if just covering for your lady and yourself.
 

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I can't believe Filipinos are not taught this is not polite to do this. Where do they get this ideal they can do this and expect the foreigner to pay for it?
It IS ]the Filipino culture, the one with money pay.
Between themselves it can become equaliced in longer run,
the problem for us foreigners is it's common Filipinos believe all foreigners are rich so they expect the foreigner to pay.

I find them annoying, who don't even say Thanks, many thanks God instead... :(
 

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And you are correct if just covering for your lady and yourself.
So everyone know - When married it can be breaking the llaw to not support Filipina wife's relatives when needed.
The law say assistance HAVE TO be given to closest relatives when needed, although ut's a common misunderstanding is believing they can just sit at their but and expect to get money.
The law say - except for OLD relatives - assistance DON'T need to be given to them who don't do their best themselves...

But the law is unclear concerning up to which level.

So better marry rich or one without relatives :)

(I were some close to marry into a partly rich family. she gave up waiting, she had passed 30 so she got in a hurry :) to try to find other.
She was business minded herself, beside her CEO assistant work, she earned a workers salary extra just at neigbours were lazy :heh: (=She went 500 meters to Supermarket and bought there for normal price, carried home and got sold to neighbours earrning 7 9000 per month extra at that.
One sister working and married rich in Canada
and an other sister married rich Filipino family. At least they seem rich because they did spend 500 000 at the wedding!
So I would have had other family members to refer to if been asked for money :heh:
 

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So everyone know - When married it can be breaking the llaw to not support Filipina wife's relatives when needed.
The law say assistance HAVE TO be given to closest relatives when needed, although ut's a common misunderstanding is believing they can just sit at their but and expect to get money.
The law say - except for OLD relatives - assistance DON'T need to be given to them who don't do their best themselves...

But the law is unclear concerning up to which level.
Do you have a formal reference to this law we can read? I for one want to make sure I follow to the letter so I don't accidently break it and be deported.
 

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I am new here and do not have any ties in the Philipines.
I assumed and not a given but the the Philipine culture is very family driven, My friend/GF is working in China and it is to help support them. I also assumed this was known factor for most dating and marrying a filipina. I know peopel in the states who have spouses and it is the same here.
Even a trip back there is mostly gifts from here.

Anyway it is way cheaper there to spend 30 bucks compared to here you get nothing. This is the allure of living there where 2k a month goes twice as far as here

Okay all done, dont jump down my [email protected]@ with both feet leave one out.
You sound like a very nice, sharing compassionate person and so I think that trial trip when ever it comes up would give you a better idea of just how much sharing the In-laws feel you need to cough up :eek: is in order before you make the home or condo purchase, you just might end up wanting to live a couple islands over.

Careful how much money you send because many can and do work jobs but with that social welfare check from you they'll just stop and come up with all sorts of mock medical issues, birthdays, schooling and related costs, I'd say that most of the time it's all a bunch of baloney.

Example: My wife would send $600 a month to take care of our two adopted kids but very little if any money went to them we found out much later on our trip, our kids (adopted from them) were under the table with bug bites and the cheapest clothes I've ever seen the In-laws kids were dressed in designer clothes and more damning proof my wife found a log book that show'd them splitting the money up, each In-law was listed and the amount of cash, they also ran electrical lines to their homes so our electrical costs back in the middle 90's were around 10,000 pesos.
 

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Do you have a formal reference to this law we can read? I for one want to make sure I follow to the letter so I don't accidently break it and be deported.
Ha, I agree, where did you get this info from Lunkan, beyond belief that you could suggest something like this without a source. I asked Ben about this and he laughed.
While I and my better half may be wrong we are looking forward to reading RA**** and will stand corrected when supplied.

OMO.

Cheers, Steve.
 

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and an other sister married rich Filipino family. At least they seem rich because they did spend 500 000 at the wedding!
So I would have had other family members to refer to if been asked for money :heh:
Lunkan... rich in debt more like it and when they return to Canada or? they have to pay down those credit bills, I'm trying to think of the Western word for Mayabang but can't so here's the a definition of a word you will need to be familiar with:

mayabang •
No exact match found

» synonyms and related words:
proud
adj.
1. thinking too well of oneself, haughty: mapagmataas, mapagmalaki
2. arrogant: palalo, suplada/o
3. boastful: mayabang, hambog
4. vain, showing off oneself or something: marangya, mapagparangya, nagpaparangya, banidoso/a
5. very pleasing to the feelings or self-esteem: maipagkakapuri, kapuri-puri, maipagmamalaki
6. grand, magnificent: marangal, marangya, marilag, dakila
7. proud of, thinking well of or being well satisfied with: ipinagkakapuri, maipagkakapuri, ipinagmamapuri, maipagmamalaki, ipinagmamalaki
 

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So everyone know - When married it can be breaking the llaw to not support Filipina wife's relatives when needed.
The law say assistance HAVE TO be given to closest relatives when needed, although ut's a common misunderstanding is believing they can just sit at their but and expect to get money.
The law say - except for OLD relatives - assistance DON'T need to be given to them who don't do their best themselves...

But the law is unclear concerning up to which level.

So better marry rich or one without relatives :)

(I were some close to marry into a partly rich family. she gave up waiting, she had passed 30 so she got in a hurry :) to try to find other.
She was business minded herself, beside her CEO assistant work, she earned a workers salary extra just at neigbours were lazy :heh: (=She went 500 meters to Supermarket and bought there for normal price, carried home and got sold to neighbours earrning 7 9000 per month extra at that.
One sister working and married rich in Canada
and an other sister married rich Filipino family. At least they seem rich because they did spend 500 000 at the wedding!
So I would have had other family members to refer to if been asked for money :heh:
Never heard of that law :eek: :confused2: But if you happen to take an In-law or somebody who's having a serious medical condition to the Hospital and then the Hospital just assumes your full of cash and supporting the costs and they probably won't ask you and don't forget it's not free health care here.... they perform medical assistance... YES! You will end up paying that fee because you became their Good Samaritan.

Lunkan, I'd seriously read a few books on Philippine culture before you step foot in country it's so much different from the world you currently live in.
 

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So everyone know - When married it can be breaking the llaw to not support Filipina wife's relatives when needed.
The law say assistance HAVE TO be given to closest relatives when needed, although ut's a common misunderstanding is believing they can just sit at their but and expect to get money.
The law say - except for OLD relatives - assistance DON'T need to be given to them who don't do their best themselves...

But the law is unclear concerning up to which level
It's not law yet. It's been a Bill for years.

Senate Bill No. 29, to be known as the "Parents Welfare Act of 2019," requires children to provide necessary support to their aging, sick and incapacitated parents.
Press Release - PRIB: Lacson files measure penalizing children who abandon parents

Meanwhile, this is the law for elders.
https://www.officialgazette.gov.ph/2010/02/15/republic-act-no-9994/
 

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Do you have a formal reference to this law we can read? I for one want to make sure I follow to the letter so I don't accidently break it and be deported.
It's a part of the very long "Family code" law. I don't remember which section, it was several years since I checked it properm but I noticed it that detailed, because it's a very important law for us foreigners when marrying a Filipina, not expected by us by how it is in our home countries.

It depend of in Phils they don't have social security as we have in our home countries. Traditionaly - long time ago in our home countries too - it was expected kids take care of the parents when geting old.
(In very old law in Sweden it was even regulated about this for farmers, the one of the kids, who got possession of the family (tiny) farm, had to take care of the old parents.)
I suppouse they made a law in Phils by this culture started breaking, when the kids left to live in cities far away from the parents, so some got abandonded.
The good behaving families solve it anyway by one of the kids stay tio take care of the old parents, while the others send money to both the old and the staying sibbling.
(As it's e g done with one of my great grandfathers as well as several Filipino families I know.)
BUT now have this tradition got twisted by bad functioning families where a bunch of the sibblings stay and do nothing except waiting for support to them too from sibblings being OFW or married to foreigners.

This law is BOTH bad and good for us foreigners,
because itmake we have to support,
BUT this law can be used as defence too telling the lazy sibblings they will not get anything, because the law say so... :heh: (=They don'¨t do their best, so they have no right to get anything.)

GOOD examples are rather poor Filipino families where the sibblings take turns going away to work and then come home to be with family and own kids. When they are away the families take care of the kids of the absend too.
As e g one family I know a bit. They were dirt poor, with alcoholic father made the family farm got lost when they were kids. Then the three sibblinngs managed somehow two worked financing higher education for themselves one by one. Two have became teachers and one have computer exam and was OFW last I had contact with them.
 

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Ha, I agree, where did you get this info from Lunkan, beyond belief that you could suggest something like this without a source. I asked Ben about this and he laughed. .
So I know the Phils laws better than Ben... :D

I have studied Phil laws A LOT and memorised the MAIN MEANINGS of them. I don't have the links or which paragraph in my MEMORY iseveral years after I did read them... :D
But I remember it's a part of the huge "Family Code" law. Check yourself if you don't believe me...
 

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Lunkan... rich in debt more like it and when they return to Canada or?
Possible you have right concerning depts, but I would have used it as argument anyway :heh: "By they coul afford such fanccy wedding, they have much more capacity to assist you, so ask them."
I don't know but they have fancier houses than I anyway.


One sister is married with foreiigner in Canada.
An OTHER sister got that half mill wedding when marrying a FILIPINO. They live in the Philippines and have fancy houses and rather high positions within "public service". I didn't listen :) when they told me what, I stoped listening after I heared 500 000 at a wedding...

But not all Filipinos are like that. One told she find 20 000 pesos enough, a simple wedding and a party with lechon :)

A Filipina married to an American vloger seem happy with a very simple marriage at mayor's office, although I have noticed she has started to become some disliking when he make viideos with her to often :)
 

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It's not law yet. It's been a Bill for years.

Senate Bill No. 29, to be known as the "Parents Welfare Act of 2019," requires children to provide necessary support to their aging, sick and incapacitated parents.
Press Release - PRIB: Lacson files measure penalizing children who abandon parents

Meanwhile, this is the law for elders.
https://www.officialgazette.gov.ph/2010/02/15/republic-act-no-9994/
That seem to be a bill to make the old law clearer. As I wrote the old law I talked about is some fuzzy concerning some important details, so some clearyfyings are needed concerning the old law.

I'm talking about the huge "Family Code" law, which talk both about support to parents (when they get old) and needs closest family can have needing support to.

Actualy a long time ago I thought of marrying a Filipina with a lot of sibblings. I don't mind supporting poor people, who do their best, but this Filipina herself said all except one of the sibblings - a then 10 yo boy - were lazy except mother, but she was exhausted by powerty and giving birth to 12 kids. The eldest of the sisters still living at home, doing the mother's work I find ok too. But all the others are extreemly lazy and by they live together they would get part of the support if I would give to them, who deserve it. And she had several other crab mentality relatives, who had made she lost tiny business capital she had managed to save and managed to start small business with profit. But when they saw she earned money, they came and expected her to give them money, so she lost the start caputal too. (She felt she had to pay them by they had supported her family.) Same thing happened second time Then she gave up trying...
 
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