Long post ahead!
Hello again,
In a few months I will get a decision on my request for EU long term residence (known as permanent residence). This is something you can apply for after legally residing in (most) a EU country continuously for 5 years coupled with any other reqs. In NL case I had to take integration exams/interview.
The Hague is less crowded than Amsterdam. Shopping (supermarkets and eg street clothes shopping) is far more pleasant. If you have been in the Kalverstraat in Adam (the shopping street) you probably have seen it can be a nightmare. So it feels more dignified, or just normal.
The crowds get so bad in Adam it just becomes a race to try to get out. The stores looked like zoos, eg. the Zara with clothes all over the floor and long lines to try out clothes. The Hague has all the same stores and even better (Primark which is cheap but a favorite, now Topshop/Topman opening soon), TK Maxx (TJ MAXX in US), it still has Marks&Spencer but that will be closing soon (it closed in Amsterdam already). Decathlon sports store right in the center whereas in Adam you have to go out of the way to get to that store.
Going for a coffee in Adam also felt like a race, better go early or you won't find a seat! The bike/scooter traffic where I lived (near Kinkerstraat) at rush hour was insane. Just crossing the street was a feat, reminded me of Indonesia.
The locals will tell you they prefer The Hague (unless they are really young).
Rents are cheaper in The Hague and much more offer (and better). My apt in Adam is 1400 eur/month now, here I pay 1150 eur for a much nicer design apt (and somewhat bigger), with an extra storage room. With the money you save renting you can get a hotel room for a weekend in Amsterdam each month.
This place is renting very cheap studios to expats (anti-squatting) so could be a base to give The Hague a try:
https://www.minvm.nl/
I walk to the beach (Scheveningen) along the incredibly beautiful tree-lined Scheveningseweg, about an hour walk. Although I heard they will take down some trees due to preparing the tracks there for newer trams. There are restaurants all along the beach serving from breakfast till dinner. It's quite a long beach at 17 km.
I find The Hague more beautiful and more elegant, the squares to sit and have a drink/eat eg. Grote Markt, Plein, Plaats, one along the Lange Voohourt, imo are far nicer than the Leidseplein (tourist kitschy and overdone), and Rembrandtplein, where you will also constantly be battling the tourists.
Yes, the small area of canals with bridges are postcard-perfect, but that's about it. There really isn't any atmosphere to it. They just look good in pictures. To me Adam is one hectic, overcrowded, 'has been' center, surrounded by the quieter neighborhoods which almost feel like suburbs. I find The Hague more city-like.
Re Spain I am deciding between Madrid and Barcelona, Madrid from what I've experienced and heard does not have a humidity problem. Madrid seems to be the better choice for living, the nightlife is supposedly better than Barcelona. Barcelona has aspects similar to Amsterdam from what I've heard. I've lived in Madrid in the past and really enjoyed the nightlife which is why I became infatuated with Spain. So I think I will go for Madrid and Barcelona is just a 2.5 hr train ride away for holidays.
Let me know if you have any more questions.