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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi everyone,

I'm in a crisis so doing the obvious thing and turning to the internet for advice ;)

I met my partner over here in Australia. He is Australian and I am British. I miss home terribly and am devastated about the possibility of a future without my family around us. This has only really hit me recently as we've been talking about marriage and having kids.

He will not come back to the UK with me. I won't go into the reasons but he's set on staying here so if I go, I go alone. I'm devastated and can't decide what to do. I love him enormously but am not sure if I can be happy here and feel nervous about a relationship where he won't compromise for me.

Am I crazy to give up a good relationship to be near my family and go back home? I'm very close with my brother and mum and finances mean that I could only see them once per year which doesn't feel like enough. I'm torn between starting my life all over again in the UK or staying here with a man that I do love and forever missing 'home'.
 

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Hello,

How about you explore the possibility of your mom and/or brother visiting you in Australia, once in June/July and you spending christmas in the UK? This way there is a 6months gap only :).

May be you don't take the leap into marriage/kids, just yet? Spend more time with your partner. Sometimes, it takes a little more time to get over the home sickness! So buy a little more time for yourself? And then decide what you want to do?

Has your partner visited UK? If not, may be you plan a trip there? He might just like it enough and agree to move? :).
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hi Jelli-kallu

Thanks for your reply :)

We can only afford to go there every other year and the same for my family, hence the once a year thing. He definitely doesn't want to move back, it's not about not liking the UK it's about not wanting to leave Aus. As for time, there's no rush I agree, it's more that I'm thinking about my future happiness and I want my mum around when I have kids. I've been here 7 years now and am pining to go back.
 

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And I was thinking it has been only a year or so, since you moved to Australia!

Things typically change after kids, especially when one's attention is completely focussed towards raising them? And who knows, may be, once a year, will turn out to be perfect timing? And ofcourse, assuming that you do like living in Australia.
 

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Hello Sophie,

My humble suggestion is if you love him, and there is no other reason apart from what you have stated , you should continue in Australia with him. World is smaller these days with skype and facebook. I know easier said than done. UK and AU timezones are totally out of sync.

Shover all your love onto your partner, someday he will agree to move to UK with you. Love has more power that anything else. It can move mountains, will it not move his heart :)
 

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Hi everyone,

I'm in a crisis so doing the obvious thing and turning to the internet for advice ;)

I met my partner over here in Australia. He is Australian and I am British. I miss home terribly and am devastated about the possibility of a future without my family around us. This has only really hit me recently as we've been talking about marriage and having kids.

He will not come back to the UK with me. I won't go into the reasons but he's set on staying here so if I go, I go alone. I'm devastated and can't decide what to do. I love him enormously but am not sure if I can be happy here and feel nervous about a relationship where he won't compromise for me.

Am I crazy to give up a good relationship to be near my family and go back home? I'm very close with my brother and mum and finances mean that I could only see them once per year which doesn't feel like enough. I'm torn between starting my life all over again in the UK or staying here with a man that I do love and forever missing 'home'.
Hi Sophie,

You are not alone in this case, but compromise goes both way as you talking about your partner wont compromise for you and he may not seeing you compromise for him in a similar way, especially you met him in here Australia, and asking him to leave his homeland which is not his free will and he wont be happy even if he goes to UK, and you choose to come to Australia before you met him is your free will, things in relationship are hard to judge. I am sure both of you love each other but just not enough to make you change. Think further, think deep :) compromise comes with compromise
 
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