Expat Forum For People Moving Overseas And Living Abroad banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 18 of 18 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,909 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello everybody!

From time to time we get some really stupid questions from posters? Example, "I am thinking of moving to France, where's the best place to live?". There are many other examples. Of course, we must not forget the most first time posters ask very reasonable questions that demand well thought out answers. Frankly, I'm amazed at the breadth and depth of answers to be found here. I'm also aware that recently we have had some really serious OPs here that merit both empathy and accuracy of reply.

Anyway, without insulting anybody, or making reference to any recent posters, I thought we might have a little fun inventing stupid questions to post here. Also, we could have some fun answering them?

If you are not a regular poster in this forum, please do NOT post a real question here, you may get a shock.


On y va ? I'll start with the next post.

DejW
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,909 Posts
Discussion Starter · #2 ·
I live in a little village in East Anglia – UK. I’ve done a lot of travelling, I’ve been to Norwich 5 times and even to London on one occasion.

I’m thinking of living in France....what’s it like there? Where’s the best place to live?

Worried of Chelmondiston (yes, it’s a real village)
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
6,806 Posts
I like to get my ears waxed every month and my regular bloke doesn't want to move to France with me; where's the best place in France to find an English-speaking ear-waxer? Thanks.

Deaf as a Post of Doddington
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
6,806 Posts
What's a reasonable price to pay for a house in France? My friends all say they're cheaper over there than here.
 
  • Like
Reactions: baldilocks

·
Banned
Joined
·
6,806 Posts
Is it worth bringing all my electrical appliances? They say that electricity isn't as good over there, or it's not as powerful or something.

And is it safe to drink the water?

And should I bring plenty of soap? I've heard the French aren't very hygienic.

Everyone says France is a very Catholic country. Does that mean I have to go to Church every Sunday?


I could go on .... and on .... but I'll hand over to others ... :) xxx
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,024 Posts
What's the weather like in France?

Does everybody speak French, I don't and really don't want to learn.

Which side of the road should I drive on? My car is English and has the steering wheel on the right.

.....................................................
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,222 Posts
Please could someone tell me the telephone number for Intermarch's English speaking helpline? I just stocked up on English groceries there and the prices I paid were absolutely disgraceful. The checkout girl was very rude and pretended not to understand me when I spoke to her about it, so I want to complain to the Group Chairman. We know him personally because my brother's friend's wife's sister's neighbour's cousin's petsitter's French penfriend's father met him once, so I'm sure he'll listen to me.

And to add insult to injury, when I was driving home from Intermarch a car pulled straight out of a side road into my path, I nearly hit it, and would you believe it, the stupid French driver had the nerve to shake his fist at me - ME! and shout something that sounded like Say Priory Tea Adroit.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,566 Posts
I'm thinking of moving and since I'm keen on gardening, I'd like to bring some pot plants with me but I've been told that there would be problems with Douane though why an ageing pop-star should have anything to say about it I don't know. Someone told me recently that they thought Douane Eddie was dead anyway, so I'm not sure, does anybody know.

I'm thinking of using the tunnel, will it mean we have to change from a train on the left hand side to one on the right hand side half way across the Channel?

Food: Do we have to eat snails or as English, can we claim some sort of exemption? Do we have to use the common market or is there a special one for expats that stocks English food?
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
6,806 Posts
koff; koff

I know we're all just joshing and we're using extreme examples (and we're all Brits, so we have that peculiar sense of humour that the rest of the world doesn't seem to understand), but there has been concern expressed (in another thread) about how one person's stupid question might be a real issue for the poster, and we're taking the proverbial, so maybe we should back off a bit guys?

I think it's a Brit thing, but this is a worldwide forum, so others may not take our observations in quite the manner we mean them.

FWIW
hils
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,909 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Dear forum members

Please help me, I'm learning French before coming to France. My problem is that have these nightmares. I see weird characters coming at me with flaming spears wanting to kill me. They wear labels around their necks, they are called Bev, Hils, Baldi, Fletch, Round2it, Maple etc. To make things worse they are speaking French.

What therapy do you advise?

Nightmare of Transylvania
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
50,384 Posts
Thanks, hils. I get as annoyed as anyone with some of the constant moans of some of my former compatriots - but there are cases where perhaps someone who had to jump through the hoops to get a visa, or someone who understands how things are back in the Old Country should probably be a tad more sympathetic than what we sometimes manage to be here.

I'm all for "telling it like it is" but perhaps we could lay off the judgmental side of things when responding to a newbie with a question. I just spent part of the day yesterday with an expat buddy whose husband has decided they will return "home" after 20 years here in France. He has even decided the date for the move - and just now is finding out that it's a whole lot harder to find a job back in the Old Country than it was 20 years ago, and that, despite his impeccable qualifications, his credentials are considered seriously out of date. Only problem is that he has already given his notice at work here. Smart guy like that should have known better, and it's tempting to take the mickey on him. But his wife (my friend) is having some serious stress over all this (not to mention family issues back in the Old Country that kind of motivated this decision to return).

Given the situations we're presented here online, we just never get to hear the backstory, so speak the truth - but go easy on the judgment, please.
Cheers,
Bev
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,455 Posts
Dear forum members Please help me, I'm learning French before coming to France. My problem is that have these nightmares. I see weird characters coming at me with flaming spears wanting to kill me. They wear labels around their necks, they are called Bev, Hils, Baldi, Fletch, Round2it, Maple etc. To make things worse they are speaking French. What therapy do you advise? Nightmare of Transylvania

Dear Expat Members. I have just been thrown out of the Jimmy Saville Home for retired paedos for obnoxious behavior. I suffer from aids, herpes, leprosy, mange, dandruff and severe halitosis and a touch of leprosy. I am thick, ill educated and totally illiterate and have a strong Birmingham accent.

I have moved to France to a hameau on the top of Mount Ventou and find that there appears to be no English expat community up here.

Would anyone be interested in meeting me for a cup of coffee and a chat, with a view to a relationship on any Saturday morning in the area. I would be interested in visiting abbatoirs, dechetteries, sewage pumping stations, mortuaries and graveyards.

I do not speak any French at all, but once bought a baguette and visited Disney Land near Paris with the neighbours children.

I would be interested in meeting new friends tomorrow night, halloween, for "dressing up" and fun.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,455 Posts
I'm thinking of moving and since I'm keen on gardening, I'd like to bring some pot plants with me but I've been told that there would be problems with Douane though why an ageing pop-star should have anything to say about it I don't know. Someone told me recently that they thought Douane Eddie was dead anyway, so I'm not sure, does anybody know. I'm thinking of using the tunnel, will it mean we have to change from a train on the left hand side to one on the right hand side half way across the Channel? Food: Do we have to eat snails or as English, can we claim some sort of exemption? Do we have to use the common market or is there a special one for expats that stocks English food?
Sorry Balders, but that new halloween photo still looks like you, dead spit, are you cooking on a bbq?

Fletch.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,566 Posts
Sorry Balders, but that new halloween photo still looks like you, dead spit, are you cooking on a bbq?

Fletch.
It's not from choice. It is a penance for getting the Hallowe'en question wrong. Sure beats sitting in the stocks in this weather, it has turned decidedly chilly.

I'm wearing a cardi and a fleece, - temperature is down to a mere 8° after only struggling to get to 15° when the sun was out. Having suffered frost-bite twice in my life (once here in Spain) I hate the cold so it is getting near time to get out the old electric blanket.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,455 Posts
It's not from choice. It is a penance for getting the Hallowe'en question wrong. Sure beats sitting in the stocks in this weather, it has turned decidedly chilly.

I'm wearing a cardi and a fleece, - temperature is down to a mere 8° after only struggling to get to 15° when the sun was out. Having suffered frost-bite twice in my life (once here in Spain) I hate the cold so it is getting near time to get out the old electric blanket.
Frostbite in Spain, you must have really upset Madame. I usually only get a "cold shoulder".
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
110 Posts
Dear forum members

Please help me, I'm learning French before coming to France. My problem is that have these nightmares. I see weird characters coming at me with flaming spears wanting to kill me. They wear labels around their necks, they are called Bev, Hils, Baldi, Fletch, Round2it, Maple etc. To make things worse they are speaking French.

What therapy do you advise?

Nightmare of Transylvania
Lo, well I'd advise more of the same!

Hee hee, the first thread I read on my return to internet world and it had me in fits! Thanks chaps :D:D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,909 Posts
Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Clearly you are my long lost twin brother.

DejW

Dear Expat Members. I have just been thrown out of the Jimmy Saville Home for retired paedos for obnoxious behavior. I suffer from aids, herpes, leprosy, mange, dandruff and severe halitosis and a touch of leprosy. I am thick, ill educated and totally illiterate and have a strong Birmingham accent.

I have moved to France to a hameau on the top of Mount Ventou and find that there appears to be no English expat community up here.

Would anyone be interested in meeting me for a cup of coffee and a chat, with a view to a relationship on any Saturday morning in the area. I would be interested in visiting abbatoirs, dechetteries, sewage pumping stations, mortuaries and graveyards.

I do not speak any French at all, but once bought a baguette and visited Disney Land near Paris with the neighbours children.

I would be interested in meeting new friends tomorrow night, halloween, for "dressing up" and fun.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,452 Posts
I want to move to France. I don't speak French but I can speak very loudly so everybody should be able to understand me. I want to live in either Paris or the riviera. How many minutes does it take to get from one to the other? I think French fashion is really cool and I would like to be a top model or maybe a fashion designer. I want to know where to pick up my benefits when I arrive and whether there are any low rent apartments in a nice area of Paris or on the riviera. Oh, and I am 19 and would like to bring my 3 kids with me.
 
1 - 18 of 18 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top