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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi Guys,

I am in a peculiar situation and would like to know if anybody how been or knows someone who was in the same situation to offer some advice.
I am an American Citizen though not originally. I never knew anyone from Australia or even dreamt of moving here until I met this girl and fell in love. The initial agreement was that she moved to US to live with me since I had a good job, a house and everything and she was just a student in Sydney.

After dating for about a year long distance with trips to US that I paid for, she moved there for about 3 months. We did a court marriage so she could go to school there but it took time to find a school and she got bored so decided out of the blue to move back to sydney. I wasnt very happy as we were planning a wedding that was due in about 10 months and I wanted us to be together till then.

She prevailed after a lecture about not wanting to waste time and that she can come to Uni in sydney and didnt enjoy living in US anymore. So we changed plans, I agreed to try sydney after the wedding. She visited me twice before the wedding with was last yr. I couldnt move immediately to sydney after the wedding because I had a house and things to get rid of and it took about six months.

I applied and got the conditional PR spouse visa and have been in Sydney for a couple months now. I easily got a good job when I got here and I am happy to be here... less stress. But the issue is.. my wife claims she no longer feels the chemistry between us but still loves me (go figure) Likes to go out with me to dinners, parties, shopping and what ever else they is to do in sydney but cant have an intimate relationship with me.

No lovemaking for about 2 months and it is driving me mental. I get so frustrated at times but try to remain cheerful on the surface with the hope things will change. She gets mad and abusive when I am quiet. After several discussions with her on the topic she is never interested in discussing, she said she would prefer if I could find someone else on the side to please me in that department but she still wants us to remain married and do everything else together... (like spending money I make:eek:)

I am not happy with this arrangement as I am new here dont even have friends aside from work to go and chill with and I wouldnt discuss my marriage with work mates I want to move out.. maybe get start over on my own but my current immigration status doesnt allow for that.

The question is: do I have any alternative of divocing this girl and still being allowed to stay in Australia? I have left my house on the US market.. hasnt sold yet and that has messed up my credit there that I cant go back there now.

Any advice?

sorry for the long speech.. I had to vent!
Cheers
 
G

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hmmm..

wow, can you spell GOLD DIGGER.....you're still with her...WHY??!!! Move on and enjoy Australia and everything it has to offer. You will meet someone better and worth your time and effort. There goes my agony uncle routine :)

Adam

<snippity snippity snip snip>
 

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The question is: do I have any alternative of divocing this girl and still being allowed to stay in Australia? I have left my house on the US market.. hasnt sold yet and that has messed up my credit there that I cant go back there now.
Sorry to hear about your situation. It must be tough having moved half way around the world to be left in this predicament. Unfortunately your spouse visa will not switch to PR until around 2 years, as per the terms of the visa you applied for (309 I assume) Can you tolerate her for that long? :)

With regards to other alternatives, could you possibly qualify for a work visa? what is your profession? could your current company hire you on a work visa?

Mat
 

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i am sorry for the mess, it doesnt sound good. why dont u live separate for a while? try the PR route as mat suggested and each go ur own way.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
i am sorry for the mess, it doesnt sound good. why dont u live separate for a while? try the PR route as mat suggested and each go ur own way.
Thanks guys! I have thought about separating for a while but is it legal under the visa rules if I move out for a while to see how things go?
I can tolerate her for 2 years only if I become Promiscuous or find a mistress.

I would hate to discuss my situation with my bosses at work because they have met her and think I am a lucky guy because she has a great personality. It will be my last option as I havent even be there for that long.
I just wish it would be legal for me to move out for a while.
Thus this treatment constitute abuse or does it always have to be physical?

Thanks again guys!:cool:
 

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hi again

we all are not professionals here and give suggestions and advice from our experiences, i suggest u speak to an agent. Veronika is a regular here, her screen name is SOMV (sortoutmyvisa). search for her on the forum or search for sortoutmyvisa on google. i am sure she can guide you.
 

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I can tolerate her for 2 years only if I become Promiscuous or find a mistress.
If she said its ok, then why not! :) Although remember at the end of the 2 years, you have an interview and still have to demonstrate that you have a legitimate relationship. So moving out wouldn't really be an option.


I would hate to discuss my situation with my bosses at work because they have met her and think I am a lucky guy because she has a great personality. It will be my last option as I haven't even be there for that long.
Again, what is your profession. Do you qualify for a 175 Skilled Migration visa? this way you wouldn't have to tell your bosses anything and could apply for PR.


I just wish it would be legal for me to move out for a while. Thus this treatment constitute abuse or does it always have to be physical?
Well, it may be worth giving DIAC a call and speak with the people there. Explain to them the visa you are on, and your situation, and see what their official answer is, and if there is any way you can still remain there. Don't give them your name & address though :D
 

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Hi,

Don't find anyone else as that will make things even messier, at least for now.

First thing to do is to check your options:

- Work situation, can you go on a different visa and get a PR?

- Relationship, is there anything to work on or things are finished between you guys?
Try to understand WHY she doesn't want to sleep with you? (Children don't read now!!) Are you too "creative" for her taste? The opposite is happening?
Isn't she "happy" in bed with you?
Do you have a bad hygiene? ie. Don't clean teeth or something?
Do you guys kiss?

Have you thought of going on therapy together?

Because one thing is saying she doesn't mind you sleep with someone else, but things are never that simple if you get a girlfriend.
Besides the 3rd person is a person too and no one deserves to get involved in the middle of a messy relationship.

(This is starting to sound like one of those corny magazines!! lol)

Anyway, to resume calmly check your options, talk to migration agents, to lawyers and decide on best course of action.
If you can't stay and can't hold the relationship for 2 years, consider a plan B.

Best wishes,
Busyte

Good luck
 

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Best advice any of us can give you is get legal advice,
the signs and signals were probably there but you refused to listen to them.
Professional advice is best especially when you have assets .
Please don't beat yourself up about it,as if she wanted to resolve issues she would have made suggestions,so it is not your fault,
Talk to a Lawyer/Solicitor because I am sure she has.
David
 
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