Off on a tangent
I did not say anything to suggest I thought you were creepy or decrepit.
I think it’s great when two people manage to find their soul mates, irrespective of their absolute or relative ages. Different people look for different things in a partner. Some find comfort in commonality – same age, ethnic background, religious beliefs, etc. Others are attracted to their complements, if not their opposites.
The notion of age-appropriate relationships is a shallow fallacy perpetrated by jealousy. Women who, particularly after childbirth, let themselves go to pot and become centered on childrearing to the point of neglecting their husbands feel threatened by perceived or imagined competition from younger girls. Men trapped in loveless marriages are jealous of the attention that young ladies, who won’t even give them the time of day, dote on their more successful peers. These jealousies are less extreme, but not unlike the prejudices that led to the lynching of Emmett Till.
What hypocrisy! That old guy shouldn’t be dating that young, beautiful, sexy girl! He should be dating somebody old and decrepit like himself. Why is it okay for him to date an old person, but it’s not okay for her? Why must we judge all relationships on some shallow notion of beauty? What about other “imperfect” partners? Is it okay to date blind people and amputees? What if you’re in love with an able-bodied person who becomes disabled?
A few romances/marriages are made in heaven. The rest are built on skilful compromise and often a self-test that turned blue.
Even “perfection” is no guarantee of longevity in a relationship. Marilyn Monroe & Joe DiMaggio. Lee Majors & Farrah Fawcett. Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston. On the other hand, some of the celebrity sex scandals mystify me. Hugh Grant, Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall, Ted Danson. I don’t see the attraction. There are limits to my appreciation of femininity.
But I’m a shallow guy who places a high premium on beauty. I’ll favor the illusion of love with a ten over true love with a three any day. But I also believe a successful lie has an element of truth. One cannot maintain the illusion of love without some genuine affection. And how critical is true love? I’m not looking for somebody to donate a kidney or take an assassin’s bullet for me. I want my romances to play out on late-night Showtime, not afternoon Lifetime.
On the other hand, I draw the fantasy line at emotions. Femininity must be real. I like natural beauty and don’t particularly care for colored hair, augmentations, acrylic fingernails, tattoos, body piercing, extensions, tinted contact lenses or affected urban vernacular. For that matter, I’m not crazy about make-up or foundation garments.
