Can't help but if your husband already says he hates the place, it probably won't end well. Unfortunately you picked a country that couldn't be further away and reality is that your husband and kids will always find a reason to see the negative.

 

What do you mean by "having routes"?

The old place in Australia is not the same anymore and the old place in the UK is a lot less the same anymore after 14 years.
You have been out of the work force for years.
Your husband and kids do not want to move to the UK.
How do you plan to financially handle a move to the UK and potentially a return to AUS with no jobs or housing and two teenagers? Will you return or might it turn into a tug of war about the kids?
Assess your issues - why have you not been able to find friends? How engaged are you with your kids' schools and extracurricular activities? They are out of the ruff and you have time on your hands - what are you doing? When did you visit the UK last?

 

This is such a difficult issue affecting many who make the decision to emigrate, when one partner can’t settle or who realises the pull home. We came here (Perth) almost 25 years ago. We became friends with a Chilean who once said to me “ when you leave to live in another country you have no country” . In many respect I think he was correct . UK is very different from when we left. We visit every year now and the pull on me is stronger and stronger. My wife will not go back and my two boys talk of it but they are adults now and have a life here (both born UK). My wife had breast cancer last year and the treatment she received was amazing here in Perth. Yes, we have health insurance but the best cancer treatment here is public - indeed HBF would not cover either the Chemo or Radiation therapy as we discovered unless my wife was an inpatient for the treatment. Contrast UK , my mum and dad are ailing and have had a few trips to medics, sadly the situation is not great in NHS at the moment.
we have lots of friends over the years who have gone back, and I know of one family went back and then returned, cost them a fortune, others separated. . I have resolved to remain here. We have compromised with buying a small house in Spain, the idea being when retired we spend time in Europe close to home and here too . Brexit makes it difficult but possible.
paul
.

 

This is such a difficult issue affecting many who make the decision to emigrate, when one partner can’t settle or who realises the pull home. We came here (Perth) almost 25 years ago. We became friends with a Chilean who once said to me “ when you leave to live in another country you have no country” . In many respect I think he was correct . UK is very different from when we left. We visit every year now and the pull on me is stronger and stronger. My wife will not go back and my two boys talk of it but they are adults now and have a life here (both born UK). My wife had breast cancer last year and the treatment she received was amazing here in Perth. Yes, we have health insurance but the best cancer treatment here is public - indeed HBF would not cover either the Chemo or Radiation therapy as we discovered unless my wife was an inpatient for the treatment. Contrast UK , my mum and dad are ailing and have had a few trips to medics, sadly the situation is not great in NHS at the moment.
we have lots of friends over the years who have gone back, and I know of one family went back and then returned, cost them a fortune, others separated. . I have resolved to remain here. We have compromised with buying a small house in Spain, the idea being when retired we spend time in Europe close to home and here too . Brexit makes it difficult but possible.
paul
.

Hi all,

I'm from the UK but have lived in Australia for 14 years now, myself, hubby and 2 kids. I've had a few wobbles to go home for good over the years but the urge to go lately is so strong. We moved from one city to another in Aus 3. 5 years ago and lost our community in order to buy a house. We've been unable to find friends in the new area and I underestimated the importance of it. I thought buying a house and having routes would fix my occasion wobbles but it hasn't. I fact it's worse as we don't have the community either. We don't want to go back to the old area, a lot of our friends have moved on, my kids are settled here and I actually like this place better but it's still not right. I need my family, friends I have history with and to belong in a place I just feel normal. I know the money and lifestyle won't be as good but I don't care. Or am I being extremely privileged and nieve. The beach just doesn't matter anymore.
I'm trying to convince my family to try it for a year (with the hope they love it) but they are all reluctant. Hubby hates the UK and loves it here and the kids don't know any different so don't miss family they have never had, but I want them to experience how wonderful it is. Am I selfish for wanting this? I've tried for 14 years now and think what about my happiness too but I'm scared if I get it wrong, don't want to be a ping pong pom. Questions to you are.
1, have expats found kids adapt and settle even if they are reluctant or can it really damage them. Mine are 14 and 12
2, if we get jobs in the UK and rent our house out here for a year how does that work tax wise, super here and UK pensions etc. I currently don't have enough stamps for a UK pension and ** all super as I was a sahm for so long. Hubby has both but no private UK pension.

Thanks

You are entitled to pay the class 2 NI stamp - both myself and wife have been paying since we came to Aus , I think it is only 165 pounds a year. You can rent out your Aus home, I think ATO allow six years - this is not financial advice, seek advice . Don’t sell your home if leaving Aus as now ATO take capital gains in full.

 

Thanks Paul, appreciate your insight.

 

Hi all,

I'm from the UK but have lived in Australia for 14 years now, myself, hubby and 2 kids. I've had a few wobbles to go home for good over the years but the urge to go lately is so strong. We moved from one city to another in Aus 3. 5 years ago and lost our community in order to buy a house. We've been unable to find friends in the new area and I underestimated the importance of it. I thought buying a house and having routes would fix my occasion wobbles but it hasn't. I fact it's worse as we don't have the community either. We don't want to go back to the old area, a lot of our friends have moved on, my kids are settled here and I actually like this place better but it's still not right. I need my family, friends I have history with and to belong in a place I just feel normal. I know the money and lifestyle won't be as good but I don't care. Or am I being extremely privileged and nieve. The beach just doesn't matter anymore.
I'm trying to convince my family to try it for a year (with the hope they love it) but they are all reluctant. Hubby hates the UK and loves it here and the kids don't know any different so don't miss family they have never had, but I want them to experience how wonderful it is. Am I selfish for wanting this? I've tried for 14 years now and think what about my happiness too but I'm scared if I get it wrong, don't want to be a ping pong pom. Questions to you are.
1, have expats found kids adapt and settle even if they are reluctant or can it really damage them. Mine are 14 and 12
2, if we get jobs in the UK and rent our house out here for a year how does that work tax wise, super here and UK pensions etc. I currently don't have enough stamps for a UK pension and ** all super as I was a sahm for so long. Hubby has both but no private UK pension.

Thanks

It sounds like you’re going through a tough emotional dilemma. Kids at 14 and 12 can adapt, though it may take time. If they have support and stability, they usually settle well. As for tax and pensions, renting your house in Australia may have tax implications, and you might need to check dual tax agreements between AU & UK. If you're serious, consult a tax advisor to ensure you're covered financially. Ultimately, your happiness matters too maybe a trial year could give clarity without full commitment.