[renita]

we are a family of three,myself my husband and my 03 yr old kid, myself n my kid moved in a month back.i find it very depressing here in perth, the days are so sunny that u cant move out, u cannot c a single soul during the evening time.the parks are empty.there is nothing u can do besides just staying at home.it is not even neighbour friendly thats bcoz u dnt evn know who ur neighbour is.... unlike india where there is so much of laughter and joy.
we feel like moving back to India where we were still doing well and more importantly happy.
Anybody who has gone through similar experiences, are free to express their views.

 

[shussel]

Hi,
We moved to Sydney two years ago with two children and found it took a while to feel settled, although we didn't experience what you describe. Where we live people, especially families, are out and about all the time. Perhaps you could review the suburb you're living in?
We still needed plenty of support during the initial months and found attending playgroups a great way to meet other mums and families, you could look up you local playgroup to see if that helps you get out more: Playgroup WA
All the best.

 

[Maz25]

I think that for every new migrant, we need to really help ourselves. We are the newcomers, so we possibly need to make a lot more effort to try and make friends and fit within our community.

I've been in Perth for 5 months and have not experienced any of the things that you have described. I've made loads of friends and I am always out and about.

Yes, it is hot right now but not so much that you have to stay inside all the time. It does get cooler so choose a time when the temperature has dropped a bit and go out and do things as a family. Knock on your neighbour's door and introduce yourself - that's the only way you'll know them. For all you know, whilst you're sitting there and thinking that they are unfriendly, they're probably thinking the same thing about you and ultimately, someone has to make the first move. Say hello if you see them whilst you're leaving the house and I'm sure that they will respond - Aussies are friendly people, so if you're nice to them, they will reciprocate the gesture.

I find your comment about Perth being sunny really funny cause I always assumed that was one of the deciding factors for moving to Perth - everyone wants a sunny city where you can be out and about as opposed to somewhere rainy and gloomy. What exactly were you looking for in terms of the weather? Maybe you could move to another city where the weather is a bit cooler?

The parks may be empty but that should not stop you from going out (though I always find that there are loads of people in the park close to where I live). What do you like to do? There are so many indoor activities if you don't like the outdoors.

I personally think that you need to make the effort to go out there and mingle - friends will not come to you unfortunately, you will have to go out of the house and find them and if you allow yourself to come up with reasons to stay indoors, you'll just end up lonely and unhappy and it'll become even harder with time to even go out and meet new people.

It's normal to take time to settle in a new city and even to struggle at first to fit in but the key to changing this situation is to put yourself out there and try to integrate into the community as much as you can. If you find a hobby that you like, you will meet like-minded people and start to make friends and once you have an established social circle, you will start to enjoy Perth.

have you considered volunteer work or as shussel suggested, playgroups for your child? That's a really good way to meet new people who have a similar schedule to yourself and shared interest, making it a little bit easier to socialise.

Hang in there - it does get better and good luck. As hard as it seems, make the first step and I'm sure a few months from now, you'll read your post and have a good laugh.

 

[Hassan_Warraich]

Dear Maz25;

I can't overemphasize your generosity and sympathy.Its simply amazing.

Keep it up.

Thanks.

 

[lazybones1978]

we are a family of three,myself my husband and my 03 yr old kid, myself n my kid moved in a month back.i find it very depressing here in perth, the days are so sunny that u cant move out, u cannot c a single soul during the evening time.the parks are empty.there is nothing u can do besides just staying at home.it is not even neighbour friendly thats bcoz u dnt evn know who ur neighbour is.... unlike india where there is so much of laughter and joy.
we feel like moving back to India where we were still doing well and more importantly happy.
Anybody who has gone through similar experiences, are free to express their views.

hello, i was feeling the same on my first week here in Perth but try to get out and explore it's nice here, i've got friendly neighbors, and i started working last week so i got tk meet fresh colleagues.. hope you'll get used to your new life!!!!

 

[stormgal]

we are a family of three,myself my husband and my 03 yr old kid, myself n my kid moved in a month back.i find it very depressing here in perth, the days are so sunny that u cant move out, u cannot c a single soul during the evening time.the parks are empty.there is nothing u can do besides just staying at home.it is not even neighbour friendly thats bcoz u dnt evn know who ur neighbour is.... unlike india where there is so much of laughter and joy.
we feel like moving back to India where we were still doing well and more importantly happy.
Anybody who has gone through similar experiences, are free to express their views.

Sounds like a nightmare, but its' not the first time I've read about Perth being that way. Someone from the UK described Perth's isolation as "maddening". But then again, she was single without family and came from the greater London area, so you can already imagine what she was going through.

If it doesn't work out in Perth, maybe you should consider moving to another part of the country where more things going on.

 

[sam_lloyd1881]

we are a family of three,myself my husband and my 03 yr old kid, myself n my kid moved in a month back.i find it very depressing here in perth, the days are so sunny that u cant move out, u cannot c a single soul during the evening time.the parks are empty.there is nothing u can do besides just staying at home.it is not even neighbour friendly thats bcoz u dnt evn know who ur neighbour is.... unlike india where there is so much of laughter and joy.
we feel like moving back to India where we were still doing well and more importantly happy.
Anybody who has gone through similar experiences, are free to express their views.

hi Renita,

It's not easy to move to a foreign country, where lots of uncertainty.But I guess it depends on one's self to make it worth while.I'm sure there was something which made you and your family want to move into Perth? Go to the beaches with the family for a picnic, have a nice cuppa at Freo, drive down south to Margerate River for a weekend getaway, integrate with the locals, give Perth a chance.

 

[Maz25]

Sounds like a nightmare, but its' not the first time I've read about Perth being that way. Someone from the UK described Perth's isolation as "maddening". But then again, she was single without family and came from the greater London area, so you can already imagine what she was going through.

If it doesn't work out in Perth, maybe you should consider moving to another part of the country where more things going on.

Australia was the actually the third country I moved to on my own. The last time I moved, I did not know a single soul but a week later, I'd sorted myself out with some drinking buddies! Same thing with Perth, I made one friend who then introduced me to a lot of other people.

I think sometimes people have rather high expectations (guilty as charged here!) and also expect others to be going out of their way to make them feel welcome. To be honest, for most of us, if someone moves to our country, we would expect them to make the first move and befriend us cause ultimately, they have a lot more to lose if they don't as opposed to us who would already have our friends and family around us.

That's why I always say, if you want to make friends in a new country, you're gonna have to go out and find them! I appreciate that it's not easy - been there done that - but the longer I find that we leave it to move out of our comfort zone, then the harder it is to make friends and the more unhappy we become, especially when we are thousands of miles away from family and friends.

Since there are so many people struggling to make friends, I think that at some point, we will have to sort out an expat day out so that we can all meet and considering that we all have something in common (being migrants), then hopefully, there will be some new friendship that comes out of that and that will maybe make Perth a little more appealing to people and they'll feel a lot happier knowing that they have met like minded people that they can hang out with. Ideas for an expat day out welcomed!

 

[renita]

Wow Maz 25..u have been so encouraging..thank u so much..feels a lot better after reading ur post and the others too.guess we have to move out n make friends.as far as the weather is concerned both me and my husband prefer the colder places than the sunny ones.weather was not the reason we moved in here..its just the system the country has was what pulled us here.
yeah maybe we shud hv an expat day so we can meet and i can have a whole new set of friends..no need to go searching..

 

[Harry1982]

An expat day sounds like a great idea!

Also, I personally found Perth a bit of a "sleepy" town. Just my 2 cents after living all over Oz as a native Ozzy.

Good luck, keep your chin up!!

 

[Maz25]

There is an active thread that I started a few days ago. For anyone who is interested in an Expat Day out in Perth, please post your suggestions there and once we have enough people interested, we can pick a date and place: Perth Expat Day Out

 

[ankit]

Hi Renita,
I totally understand what you are going through. I felt exactly the same way for my first month here. Now after 3 months, it is little better, still in Perth you can be really isolated at times. Hope things will get better with time.

Anyways if you want to connect drop me a message.

cheers
Ankit

 

[bangalg]

Hope you take Maz25's suggestion and things will be better for you, socially.
But honestly, your post depressed me. Our family profile is the same as yours and we are moving to Mel/syd. I hope my wife finds these places brighter than Perth. Of course, one needs to make the first move to reach out as an outsider.

Sent from my iPad using ExpatForum

 

[jenjenk]

Hello,
I agree with Maz25, you need to do the legwork. It's so difficult to move and settle let alone such a big jump like emigrating.
Why not pop the little 3yr old in playgroup so you get to know the mums and she makes friends. Then you can invite mums for coffee and let the children play?
Whilst husband is home to look after your child go to a evening class or Zumba dance? Zumba is fun and you can get chatting.
Ozzies like to exercise early I've noticed so go out with the little one and say hello to everyone. I often stop say hello and chat when I'm walking my dog.
Go in person to collect take aways, regularly use the same shops/bars so staff think of you as a regular.
Invite neighbours to a housewarming BBQ? Or if it's too sunny, evening drinks?
Keep an eye out on notice boards for things to do or online for expats meeting up? No one says all your friends have to be Australian, find people from home so you're not feeling so alone.

I'm sad that you feel so down, it will get better.
Jen x

 

[karan_2891]

Hi Friends,

I plan to move to Perth from Sydney in a few weeks for a job. Could you please suggest some good suburbs to live around "St Georges Terrace Perth 6000" which are not too expensive? I am initially moving alone with wife and kid joining 2 months later. I also would like to understand the cost of living there (and possible comparisons with Sydney if we have folks here who have lived @ both the places)..

Cheers..