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I am a primary teacher and me and my husband are emigrating to perth on august 31st this year. Last day of term today and last day in my job - thought I would feel great on this day but infact I feel very strange. :confused: Had made it all feel very real and has started to make me question if were doing the right thing. What if it all goes wrong? What if we can't get jobs? What if something happens to a family member in UK after we leave? What if I hate it! So many ifs - hope these are just last minute nerves. Is it normal to feel like this - did anyone else feel the same when their time got nearer? Please help to put my mind at rest!! Taken me by suprise as all we have talked about for the last 5 years is the day we will finally go and now it is getting nearer am scared rather than excited! Also doesn't help when people (friends and family) are telling you they think you will be back in 6 months, 12 months few years etc. This just puts more doubt in my mind - did anyone else get this from friends or family or is it just mine!!
A very worried and confused
Gina
 

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To me it feels perfectly natural to feel worried and somewhat scared about moving to another country where you most probably know no one and is alien to you. In this recession where jobs are scarce (AU economy is doing better than most but still not as well one would like), you are uncertain, BUT don't feel as if you are going to your doom. Im sure you and your husband prepapred yourselves for all those scenarios you mentioned and if worst comes to worse, you may think AU is not for you and decide to move back. But most people try to stick it out for some time and see for themseleves that they like it. Some I know ask themselves why didn't they move sooner. Ask yourself why is it that you guys have spent the last 5 years being excited and dreamed about going to AU. Remember the reason(s) why you are leaving your life in England and be strong.

And Im not sure about your family/friends. Maybe it's because they will miss you when you are gone that they are being pessimistic but just remind them that you will keep in touch with them, and you guys will probably return sometime in the future to visit or they can come visit you. Don't let other people ruin this big moment for you. And even if you decide in the end that AU is not for you and you return to England, so what? You are taking a huge opportunity to move to another country and being brave enough to try it to your best when other people are not only not brave enough to even think of moving, but try to put doubts into your mind to scare you off.

If you still don't feel comfortable about your decision to move, you can ask the many people on this forum who have moved to AU and are leading their lives there. Many/most love it, one or two regret it, but we are all here to cheer each other on and suggest each other how to enjoy this one thing that are common between all of us.

I hope I was able to help and not put even more doubts in your mind. I was trying to be honest and not sugarcoat everything but still give your post some optimism. I hope I succeeded.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
To me it feels perfectly natural to feel worried and somewhat scared about moving to another country where you most probably know no one and is alien to you. In this recession where jobs are scarce (AU economy is doing better than most but still not as well one would like), you are uncertain, BUT don't feel as if you are going to your doom. Im sure you and your husband prepapred yourselves for all those scenarios you mentioned and if worst comes to worse, you may think AU is not for you and decide to move back. But most people try to stick it out for some time and see for themseleves that they like it. Some I know ask themselves why didn't they move sooner. Ask yourself why is it that you guys have spent the last 5 years being excited and dreamed about going to AU. Remember the reason(s) why you are leaving your life in England and be strong.

And Im not sure about your family/friends. Maybe it's because they will miss you when you are gone that they are being pessimistic but just remind them that you will keep in touch with them, and you guys will probably return sometime in the future to visit or they can come visit you. Don't let other people ruin this big moment for you. And even if you decide in the end that AU is not for you and you return to England, so what? You are taking a huge opportunity to move to another country and being brave enough to try it to your best when other people are not only not brave enough to even think of moving, but try to put doubts into your mind to scare you off.

If you still don't feel comfortable about your decision to move, you can ask the many people on this forum who have moved to AU and are leading their lives there. Many/most love it, one or two regret it, but we are all here to cheer each other on and suggest each other how to enjoy this one thing that are common between all of us.

I hope I was able to help and not put even more doubts in your mind. I was trying to be honest and not sugarcoat everything but still give your post some optimism. I hope I succeeded.
your right - thanks a lot. Feel a whole lot better now. Just needed reassurance! Is exciting just others making me doubt thanks gina
 

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well said tilla,

nice words of comfort I am sure everyone should read them if they have doubts.

Gin remember you are only 1 day away if anything happens back in the UK, you sound like you are nervous but I seriously dont think you need to be just look forward to getting on the plane with the most important people in you life we cant wait to be in your shoes

good luck and chin up

weelee
 

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Hi Gin:

Yes, this is very normal. You are about to get out of your life comfort zone and go to a new country where you will be far from that which has been familiar for most of your life. The doubts you feel are also normal.

What you must keep a watch out for is to not let those feeling overwhelm you so that you become petrified. So build in some breaks when you start feeling like this (i.e. go for a walk, go to a restaurant), just something that makes you feel good.

Make sure you chat about your feelings (and your husband will be chatting with you about them too). Don't bottle things up inside as it makes the whole transition take longer (and you must believe that this will be a transition, your life will change).

Friends and family do tend to say those things, but they certainly won't admit anything when you don't come back in 12 months time. And you'll find that alot of the friends from 'back home' drift away and you make new friends in your new home.

I am a primary teacher and me and my husband are emigrating to perth on august 31st this year. Last day of term today and last day in my job - thought I would feel great on this day but infact I feel very strange. :confused: Had made it all feel very real and has started to make me question if were doing the right thing. What if it all goes wrong? What if we can't get jobs? What if something happens to a family member in UK after we leave? What if I hate it! So many ifs - hope these are just last minute nerves. Is it normal to feel like this - did anyone else feel the same when their time got nearer? Please help to put my mind at rest!! Taken me by suprise as all we have talked about for the last 5 years is the day we will finally go and now it is getting nearer am scared rather than excited! Also doesn't help when people (friends and family) are telling you they think you will be back in 6 months, 12 months few years etc. This just puts more doubt in my mind - did anyone else get this from friends or family or is it just mine!!
A very worried and confused
Gina
 

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wait till u go and call them and if by chance u say, oh i am missing life that u left and then will come the sarcastic ones, we told you and its not too late.. somehow i feel everyone seems to have an opinion.
end of the day u r doing this for yourself and many dont approve of it just becasue for a change you thought of yourself.

go on, a great life is waiting for you. things settle, wounds heal, people come in terms, dont worry too much, a bigger challenge is getting settled there, these relatives and friends are saying this just because they maybe dont have an opportunity or are not bold enough to accept a challenge and leave their comfort zone..

wish u luck
 

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wait till u go and call them and if by chance u say, oh i am missing life that u left and then will come the sarcastic ones, we told you and its not too late.. somehow i feel everyone seems to have an opinion.
end of the day u r doing this for yourself and many dont approve of it just becasue for a change you thought of yourself.
My family is the exact opposite in some ways. See I think every single one of them wants to leave and would encourage each other to leave and settle in another country (my maternal side loves the idea of USA while my paternal side love CAN and AU), but on the inside they feel threatened and envious if anyone is leaving.

I recently received a scholarhsip to get my MSc in Japan, and I have told my paternal side of the family about it and some seem supportive while others don't seem happy at all about it. And we haven't even told my mother's side because we know they are going to say no, why are you going away so soon, you need time to adjust to life here, how will you live by yourself, etc etc etc.

It's like Im already scared enough thanks (don't know one iota of Japanese). I do not need all of ya'lls pessimism and negativity on top of it. Either give me advice and courage to try it out atleast or just go away. So, yea, I will probably not let them know about it until the last minute or something.
 

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life is like that my friend, as i said, everyone seems to have an opinion. come up with a problem and u will get a zillion people telling u how it happened, who was at fault, do this, do that, yada yada, no one wil say go ahead, fight because people are afraid of taking up challenges.
 

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Hi gin, Just to let you know my hubbies family are the same: very negative, you'll be back in two years, i would rent if i were you then you'll still have a house to come back too etc. My mother-in-law even gives me sarcastic looks when i mention oz as if its all my fault! but you know what i really don't care and i just look at her and carry on talking!! Have no doubt your doing the right thing, in regards to your job i'm sure you will find work and be very happy once you have settled in, i have decided to take a career break from my job for 5 years, just in case really but thats the only thing i have kind of put on hold in case i come back (because if your like us and have never been to oz, you never know until you get there) but we are really excited and ready for the off if only i could sell the house. Keep positive as you only live once....enjoy your adventure and do keep us all updated on your move and how your getting on..
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Hi gin, Just to let you know my hubbies family are the same: very negative, you'll be back in two years, i would rent if i were you then you'll still have a house to come back too etc. My mother-in-law even gives me sarcastic looks when i mention oz as if its all my fault! but you know what i really don't care and i just look at her and carry on talking!! Have no doubt your doing the right thing, in regards to your job i'm sure you will find work and be very happy once you have settled in, i have decided to take a career break from my job for 5 years, just in case really but thats the only thing i have kind of put on hold in case i come back (because if your like us and have never been to oz, you never know until you get there) but we are really excited and ready for the off if only i could sell the house. Keep positive as you only live once....enjoy your adventure and do keep us all updated on your move and how your getting on..
will certainly keep you all updated! thanks to everyone for words of support. Glad to know its not just my friends and family that are negative!! Am only going to think of positives now. Many many people would love to be in our shoes and lots of people I have spoken to in UK said they thought about it x number of years ago but didn't bother for whatever reasons and now wish that they had. I am not going to be one of those people that look back and think what if! We are definitely doing the right thing i know that but some people do have the opinion that is a very selfish thing to do. But sometimes in life you got to yourself first and thats what were doing!! See how much more positive I sound today!!!!
thanks everyone
 

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Hi Gin, We went thru the same with Marks family when we told them. There was a few sarcastic comments and alot of you'll be back soon. anytime we tried to talk about Oz they always changed the subject. It wasn't until his mum and dad got me alone and told me that I need to talk some "sense" into Mark that got me thinking. They've always been a close-knit family and were afraid of change or anything that disrupts the family balance. Once Mark got a chance to talk to them alone and ask for their help and advise the truth came out.....they're gonna miss us and with them not being young they didn't know when we'd all see each other again. Hence the negativity. Since then we've tried to include both sides of the family in what we do so that they know they're important to us. And we're always saying when you guys come to see us....... What we've all got to remember is that whilst we're making a big change with moving to OZ and adapting, the rest of our friends and family have to also adapt to us not being here or easily reachable. Thats probably what scares them into negative comments when truthfully they might just be afraid of change ..... or just plain jealous that we've got the chance to start afresh. Like you said you don't want to be the one that says you let your chance slip thru your fingers. It's better to say, yeah you gave it a shot and ........

xx Satty :love:
 

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All comments are excellent,
Just realise people's own insecurities come out as negativity,
We all have to make this move to see if we can offer our children and Wife or Husband a better life,
Yes,there will be challenges,
But anyone who I know that moved to Oz,the only negative thing they said was missing family,
Well If that is the only thing I think we can all deal with that and people can come and visit but it gives us a chance to build our own Family unit.
 

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Hi Gina,

We have been in Perth for 5 months now and we really love it here. It is one of the planet's hidden treasures. You will get lots of relief work as a primary teacher but you need to source your own relief in the government sector. That means you get a list of the primary schools and contact them yourself. Sign up with Smart Teachers in Subiaco when you get here - let them know you are on your way by sending your resume to their website smartteachers.com.au . They will help you if there are any contracts or long-term relief posts. They will also put you in touch with another organisation that specialises in short-term relief in the private sector (name escapes me just now). Before you can do anything you must register with WACOT and get a Working With Children check. You can contact WACOT now and start your registration process but you can't get a WWCC till you get here. That costs $55 and you get the form from the local post office. If you have police clearance, bring it with you plus up-to-date resumes and e-mail contacts for your referees - ideally 3 but 2 will do.

Don't believe the myth about Oz education being miles behind the UK - it's rubbish. The students in the good private schools all have their own Netbooks and lots of schools have Promethean boards and Webster boards (Oz SMART boards). There's tons of brilliant stuff going on in Oz education! Yes - I am a teacher! What is true though is that indiscipline in the government sector is pretty bad, so be prepared. However, there are loads and loads of private schools because it's not as expensive as the UK. If you have a bad day just go and get the sand between your toes - works every time!

Hope that helps stave off those doubts - your family are playing Jonah cos they don't want you to go. Tell your ageing relatives that if they die when you are here, it will affect you more than them - it worked with my 83 year old mother! Just get Skype and you'll be in closer contact from here than you were at home. Get on that plane - a whole new world is waiting for you. Don't be lonely when you get here - contact us:)
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Hi Gina,

We have been in Perth for 5 months now and we really love it here. It is one of the planet's hidden treasures. You will get lots of relief work as a primary teacher but you need to source your own relief in the government sector. That means you get a list of the primary schools and contact them yourself. Sign up with Smart Teachers in Subiaco when you get here - let them know you are on your way by sending your resume to their website smartteachers.com.au . They will help you if there are any contracts or long-term relief posts. They will also put you in touch with another organisation that specialises in short-term relief in the private sector (name escapes me just now). Before you can do anything you must register with WACOT and get a Working With Children check. You can contact WACOT now and start your registration process but you can't get a WWCC till you get here. That costs $55 and you get the form from the local post office. If you have police clearance, bring it with you plus up-to-date resumes and e-mail contacts for your referees - ideally 3 but 2 will do.

Don't believe the myth about Oz education being miles behind the UK - it's rubbish. The students in the good private schools all have their own Netbooks and lots of schools have Promethean boards and Webster boards (Oz SMART boards). There's tons of brilliant stuff going on in Oz education! Yes - I am a teacher! What is true though is that indiscipline in the government sector is pretty bad, so be prepared. However, there are loads and loads of private schools because it's not as expensive as the UK. If you have a bad day just go and get the sand between your toes - works every time!

Hope that helps stave off those doubts - your family are playing Jonah cos they don't want you to go. Tell your ageing relatives that if they die when you are here, it will affect you more than them - it worked with my 83 year old mother! Just get Skype and you'll be in closer contact from here than you were at home. Get on that plane - a whole new world is waiting for you. Don't be lonely when you get here - contact us:)
Thanks for all the information. Feeling much more positive about everything now - was just that feeling when walked out of school of 'oh my god, this is it!' Had massive panic! Went to end of year do that night though and got very very drunk - had brilliant night! will certainly get in contact when we get there - as long as thats ok - no doubt will have loads of questions for you particularly about teaching! thanks again
gina
 

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Welcome to the expat club, you will not be alone in your experiences when you get here, but you will need to get out there and meet people and most people will be happy to help out.

We have been overwhelmed by how friendly everyone is, back in the UK it is very negative and put downs, the saying in Australia is "give it a fair go" and most people will.

Schools are different, better in my opinion and more tailored to the kid rather than the class and not the traditional academic badges, I feel are more for parents bragging rights than kids abilities. Private education is far more affordable than the UK.

My wife speaks to her family loads more than she did in the UK, when you do meet it will be incredibly memorable and what an opportunity for the family to spend time in Australia!

We will be happy to help out when you land.

Family Riggers
 

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Welcome to the expat club, you will not be alone in your experiences when you get here, but you will need to get out there and meet people and most people will be happy to help out.

We have been overwhelmed by how friendly everyone is, back in the UK it is very negative and put downs, the saying in Australia is "give it a fair go" and most people will.

Schools are different, better in my opinion and more tailored to the kid rather than the class and not the traditional academic badges, I feel are more for parents bragging rights than kids abilities. Private education is far more affordable than the UK.

My wife speaks to her family loads more than she did in the UK, when you do meet it will be incredibly memorable and what an opportunity for the family to spend time in Australia!

We will be happy to help out when you land.

Family Riggers
Thanks so much. Great to talk to people who have done it and are living it. Very eager to get out there now its getting nearer - feeling a little in limbo especially now have finished work! Am a little stressed as its getting nearer though - this is clear from the bickerin between me and my husband at the moment. But know that once we get to the airport and board the flight this will all be instantly forgotten! What part of perth are you in? We will be staying in North Beach with my husbands mum until we get ourselves sorted! gina
 

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Hi Gina,

I think all expats go through exactly what you are going through right now.

We spend sooooo much time and effort on actually getting the visa and planning the move etc but it's all really on paper (as it were). When you actually come to give in your notice at work, when you actually come to selling your house, it then becomes scary and that's when the doubts start.

Also to contend with are some people's reaction to what you are planning for. Mostly it a jealousy thing, wishing they could do what you're about to do. Harsh though it is, that is their problem not yours. Just keep focusing on your plans.

My parents are elderly (my dad died about a year before we moved over) and my mum is in her mid-80s. When we were going through all the arrangements for my dad, my sister was worried what would happen when mum passes. I told her not to worry we'd all come back and I'll be there with her to help with the arrangements etc. Little did I know that 10 months after moving here my OHs mum died very suddenly and we went back to the UK for her funeral. What I'm trying to say is there will always be the specter of something awful happening to a loved one back in the UK but you have to go on with life and enjoy it for the moment. When something does happen you deal with it at that time. Life's way to short to worry about something that hasn't happened!

I think the worse thing that you have to deal with when you become an expat is the guilt. I feel guilty for leaving my friends behind, I feel guilty for leaving my sister to deal with our mum on her own, I feel guilty that I won't be there for weddings and christenings and major family events etc etc etc. But you learn to live with it...that's just me. Some people don't have the guilt thing.

Live life how you want to live it.....

Dolly
 

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Some words of power by Swami Vivekananda

This misery that I am suffering is of my own doing, and that very thing proves that it will have to be undone by me alone. That which I created, I can demolish; that which is created by someone else, I shall never be able to destroy.

Therefore, stand up, be bold, be strong. Take the whole responsibility on your own shoulders, and know that you are the creators of your own destiny. All the strength and succor you want is within ourselves.

Swami Vivekananda - Wikiquote

Hope you feel better :)
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Hi Gina,

I think all expats go through exactly what you are going through right now.

We spend sooooo much time and effort on actually getting the visa and planning the move etc but it's all really on paper (as it were). When you actually come to give in your notice at work, when you actually come to selling your house, it then becomes scary and that's when the doubts start.

Also to contend with are some people's reaction to what you are planning for. Mostly it a jealousy thing, wishing they could do what you're about to do. Harsh though it is, that is their problem not yours. Just keep focusing on your plans.

My parents are elderly (my dad died about a year before we moved over) and my mum is in her mid-80s. When we were going through all the arrangements for my dad, my sister was worried what would happen when mum passes. I told her not to worry we'd all come back and I'll be there with her to help with the arrangements etc. Little did I know that 10 months after moving here my OHs mum died very suddenly and we went back to the UK for her funeral. What I'm trying to say is there will always be the specter of something awful happening to a loved one back in the UK but you have to go on with life and enjoy it for the moment. When something does happen you deal with it at that time. Life's way to short to worry about something that hasn't happened!

I think the worse thing that you have to deal with when you become an expat is the guilt. I feel guilty for leaving my friends behind, I feel guilty for leaving my sister to deal with our mum on her own, I feel guilty that I won't be there for weddings and christenings and major family events etc etc etc. But you learn to live with it...that's just me. Some people don't have the guilt thing.

Live life how you want to live it.....

Dolly
Your completely right! Life is too short to worry about things that haven't happened - my husband is always telling me to stop worrying but thats hard to do for a born worrier!! And as you said I know that if anything does happen I will deal with it - because you have no other option but to deal with it - there is no choice!! It is good to hear that this is a common thing for all people to go through though - I now see it all as part of the process - and am looking forward to our new life!! Thanks Dolly
gina
 
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