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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello to all the regulars here.

I've been a bit off colour for sometime, and last week I was a little breathless and depressed. I went to the doc, and she took blood pressure and my pulse on a super duper new automatic machine. She hit the machine a couple of times because the blood pressure measure was ok, but the pulse meter did not work. So, she used the old fashioned method of holding my hand and counted the pulse on her watch. She did this several times because she thought that she had miscounted. In the end she announced "32" and sent me to the hospital with strict orders not do any exertion on route. The normal pulse rate at rest is 60 - 80.

Long story of multiple examinations, transfer by ambulance to another hospital etc. It seems that my life expectancy was severely reduced if I did anything really strenuous, like getting out of bed to go to the toilet alone.

So, they put a box of electronics and sensors into my shoulder.....and I feel much better already. Something about blood can now reach my tiny brain.

I've got lots of literature to read on the subject, but does anyone here have experience of a pacemaker?

Heartedly yours..............DejW
 

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Blimey, Dej. A box of tricks on your shoulder? Hope you're affectionately calling it Polly :)

Just be immensely grateful you're in France.

Take it easy now ...

hils x
 
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My FIL had one. He had to be careful walking thru security zones in airports and it had to be removed before his cremation as apparently they are known to blow up under extreme heat!?

Apart from that, its keeping you going, so look after it and yourself and be glad they've sorted you!!!!

Best wishes

Jo xxxx
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Hi Jo2

Yes, I've been warned about airport security. As for cremation I'll try it once carefully and if it's ok I'll do it again. Bit of a burning issue?

DejW


My FIL had one. He had to be careful walking thru security zones in airports and it had to be removed before his cremation as apparently they are known to blow up under extreme heat!?

Apart from that, its keeping you going, so look after it and yourself and be glad they've sorted you!!!!

Best wishes

Jo xxxx
 

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Wow! I'd wondered where you've been the last couple of days!

I've got one friend here who has a pacemaker - and who had to have it replaced (or upgraded or something) a while back. (She has had the thing for YEARS.) But she's basically the Bionic Woman - has two artificial hips and at the age of 83 or so has finally been convinced to actually use her walker (Zimmer) at long last.

Her latest fall netted her 8 months away from home, between the hospital, rehab home and finally she's back at home again. But honestly, her pacemaker is the least of her problems.

Glad to hear they got you fixed up right away.
Cheers,
Bev
 

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Hi Djw. Sorry to hear of your current worrying concerns and pleased to hear that blood is now coursing through your veins in the proper manner, who knows what this might lead to, dont go mad at the office Christmas party.

There was a guy from Liverpool back in the sixties called Jerry and he had a bunch of "pacemakers " and I think he is still about. Blooming awful song, but still going strong.

"Ferret cross the Mersey" la la la. ( it was powered by a weasel engine that made a hell of a mink).

Good news. Fletch.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Hi JoJo

Yes, cremation with a pacemaker can be termed "going out with a bang"?

DejW


My FIL had one. He had to be careful walking thru security zones in airports and it had to be removed before his cremation as apparently they are known to blow up under extreme heat!?

Apart from that, its keeping you going, so look after it and yourself and be glad they've sorted you!!!!

Best wishes

Jo xxxx
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
AHHHH, the groups of the 60s.


In my previous life I had to go to Fleetwood, (somewhere near the Mersey, I think. It's definitely north of Potters Bar) on business. I told my colleagues that I'd already been there once and bought a raincoat there -the Fleetwood Mac. Sadly my outdated humour was lost on the younger members of the team.

It's a real dump of a place (sorry to any Fleetwoodmacians here)

For those of you interested, the insertion of the pacemaker was done under local anaesthetic, although I was totally zonked and remember nothing. During the preparation for the op the theatre nurses (very sexy in blue pyjamas, masks and pretty little hats) explained infection was a big risk for pacemaker ops. Therefore during the op I must not use my hands to scratch my nose because it near the zone of the operation. The kind nurses explained that they were going to tie my hands to the table so I could not increase the infection risk. They added that the real reason was they were fed up with English male patients trying to grope the nurses.

DejW

Hi Djw. Sorry to hear of your current worrying concerns and pleased to hear that blood is now coursing through your veins in the proper manner, who knows what this might lead to, dont go mad at the office Christmas party.

There was a guy from Liverpool back in the sixties called Jerry and he had a bunch of "pacemakers " and I think he is still about. Blooming awful song, but still going strong.

"Ferret cross the Mersey" la la la. ( it was powered by a weasel engine that made a hell of a mink).

Good news. Fletch.
 

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AHHHH, the groups of the 60s.


In my previous life I had to go to Fleetwood, (somewhere near the Mersey, I think. It's definitely north of Potters Bar) on business. I told my colleagues that I'd already been there once and bought a raincoat there -the Fleetwood Mac. Sadly my outdated humour was lost on the younger members of the team.

It's a real dump of a place (sorry to any Fleetwoodmacians here)

For those of you interested, the insertion of the pacemaker was done under local anaesthetic, although I was totally zonked and remember nothing. During the preparation for the op the theatre nurses (very sexy in blue pyjamas, masks and pretty little hats) explained infection was a big risk for pacemaker ops. Therefore during the op I must not use my hands to scratch my nose because it near the zone of the operation. The kind nurses explained that they were going to tie my hands to the table so I could not increase the infection risk. They added that the real reason was they were fed up with English male patients trying to grope the nurses.

DejW
Strange that, it's exactly as I described my hip op or"hiphop" as we are mentioning music. Being tied to a bed by a bunch of young nurses, did they usebthe pink furry cuffs on you, they did on me. Perhaps thats one benefit of paying more for healthcare.

My neighbour who is now 83, had one fitted last year heart and circulation probs. he was ok'd to drink half a bottle of rouge a day, down from about three granted. He is now in top form and on tuesday last went for his check at Bordeaux Hosp. And was pronounced A1. Last week I saw him up his apple tree with his chain saw and no, he was not having problems with apples that were refusing too fall.

Fletch.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Lucky you, Fletch, you had the full bondage kit.

For me it was just a sheet put under my back and around the lower arms. When I said that anything sexy was not on my mind at that time they (joked) that it was a personal insult for them and they started to wiggle (in the blue pyjamas). Clearly it was all part of the de-stressing routine, but it was fun.

The battery in a pacemaker last about 6 - 10 years, so I'll have to go back some time to have it updated. Ho hum. I'm sure that you could recharge the battery remotely, without having to dig into the meat again.

To be serious, Dear Fletchie, my problems are minor and tomorrow I will be better. I understand that others have much more serious problems, so I don't complain.

DejW


Strange that, it's exactly as I described my hip op or"hiphop" as we are mentioning music. Being tied to a bed by a bunch of young nurses, did they usebthe pink furry cuffs on you, they did on me. Perhaps thats one benefit of paying more for healthcare.

My neighbour who is now 83, had one fitted last year heart and circulation probs. he was ok'd to drink half a bottle of rouge a day, down from about three granted. He is now in top form and on tuesday last went for his check at Bordeaux Hosp. And was pronounced A1. Last week I saw him up his apple tree with his chain saw and no, he was not having problems with apples that were refusing too fall.

Fletch.
 

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Lucky you, Fletch, you had the full bondage kit.

For me it was just a sheet put under my back and around the lower arms. When I said that anything sexy was not on my mind at that time they (joked) that it was a personal insult for them and they started to wiggle (in the blue pyjamas). Clearly it was all part of the de-stressing routine, but it was fun.

The battery in a pacemaker last about 6 - 10 years, so I'll have to go back some time to have it updated. Ho hum. I'm sure that you could recharge the battery remotely, without having to dig into the meat again.

To be serious, Dear Fletchie, my problems are minor and tomorrow I will be better. I understand that others have much more serious problems, so I don't complain.

DejW
Exactly. I have always found in life, thats its no good moaning, no one listens anyway.
I tend to get off my a...se and do something about it.

Trouble with now knowing about your op. and talking about batteries,every time I see those pink fluffy bunnies on the Duracell advert., I shall say, and think to myself," there goes old Dj".

F.
 

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Hi Djw. Sorry to hear of your current worrying concerns and pleased to hear that blood is now coursing through your veins in the proper manner, who knows what this might lead to, dont go mad at the office Christmas party. There was a guy from Liverpool back in the sixties called Jerry and he had a bunch of "pacemakers " and I think he is still about. Blooming awful song, but still going strong. "Ferret cross the Mersey" la la la. ( it was powered by a weasel engine that made a hell of a mink). Good news. Fletch.
Old Dej. Was feeling feeling quite bad , his blood system was driving him mad,
the Doctor was ready, the nurse held him steady, and his new friend is now "Eveready".

F.
 

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Yes, cremation with a pacemaker can be termed "going out with a bang"?

DejW
Or in Mersey Gerry's case, "going out with a band".

My FIL had one fitted about 15 years ago when he was in his 80s, he went on to outlive his fourth wife and died last year at the age of 99. Amazing chap, had all his wits about him to the end. As for the pacemaker it seemed to be pretty much fit-and-forget, he had to go and have it tweaked every now and again but it didn't interfere with his daily life. Well apart from adding many days onto it of course.

I'm sure everything will keep ticking along nicely ..
 

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Ah, DejW, I am glad you got that sorted! Between the two of you you will be all geared up and ready to roll for next year with all the health nonsense behind you! Steady on, boy! You have that new baby to look after! Glad you are apace with all the current technology! You will need it to chase after the 'little one'. MS
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
For those of you who may have to stay in a French hospital here are 2 French words that are not immediately clear in English.

Oreillette = auricle (little ear?)

Pistolet = pistol or male urine bottle (obvious when you see the French ones, but my in previous stays in hospital here I’ve been able to walk to the loo). The question “do you want a pistolet?” confused me at first.


DejW
 

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For those of you who may have to stay in a French hospital here are 2 French words that are not immediately clear in English. Oreillette = auricle (little ear?) Pistolet = pistol or male urine bottle (obvious when you see the French ones, but my in previous stays in hospital here I’ve been able to walk to the loo). The question “do you want a pistolet?” confused me at first. DejW
I presume your "pistlolet"' is for taking the p..s on Expat ?

Fletch.
 

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Are you sure about that "oreillette"? It's not a diminutive of "oreiller" by any chance, which is what I would have guessed.

Ah, but in hospital you learn a whole new vocabulary. (Face it, how many French language classes bother to teach you the words for "bed pan" "IV drip" or any of the myriad of new "toys" one encounters in hospital?)
Cheers,
Bev
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
aha, now that I am home and surrounded by my dictionaries it's easy to tell you that "oreille" -ear gives us oreiller (pillow on which you place your ear), and ear lobe. You also have lobes in the heart which is also "auricle" in English. This is easy to explain.

It was more difficult to understand when the cardiologist was explaining "oreillettes" and the lack of electrical impulses in my heart, and that my life expectancy without a pace maker was likely to be short.

As you say Bev, French language schools really should extend the vocabulary to bedpans and pistolets. On this subject we have several "lavoirs" in the village -public wash houses fed from mountain streams. I have amused the locals by confusing "lavoir" and "lavement".

Anyway, pistol(et) shooting anyone?

DejW
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
For those of with either

* an interest in programming

or

* a morbid interest in the ailments of others

I've found on the internet the techie guide for my new pacemaker. You can find it here:

https://www.sorinmanuals.com/PDFUSERS/Sorin_CRM/Pacemaker/U071/U071A.pdf

It's programmable by magnets placed on my chest! So, for Christmas I'll make it play "jingle bells" and with my expertise in FORTRAN IV I can make my eyes light up alternately red and green. Or perhaps I could put in a Bluetooth / wifi link so that if Dear Hils presses control B on her keyboard I will burp? The only limitation is your imagination!

WOW.....DejW
 

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For those of with either

* an interest in programming

or

* a morbid interest in the ailments of others

I've found on the internet the techie guide for my new pacemaker. You can find it here:

https://www.sorinmanuals.com/PDFUSERS/Sorin_CRM/Pacemaker/U071/U071A.pdf

It's programmable by magnets placed on my chest! So, for Christmas I'll make it play "jingle bells" and with my expertise in FORTRAN IV I can make my eyes light up alternately red and green. Or perhaps I could put in a Bluetooth / wifi link so that if Dear Hils presses control B on her keyboard I will burp? The only limitation is your imagination!

WOW.....DejW

My mum has had one for a number of years and the only time she had a problem was when she went to an OAP mobile phone class. Apparently the magnetic field of several mobile phones in a small space can affect the device, but one phone is usually OK.

PS - I still have my FORTRAN IV colouring book somewhere :D
 
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