i can't comment on the first part of your post - i have no idea what personal demons you have to fight. but i have to disagree with what you think it's annoying about kids: you can have the most serious chat with them, and they are far more perceptive than adults.Definitely a good thing. I'd be a criminal to reproduce and pass on my genetic disorders to anyone. Plus, family life is not combinable with the lifestyle I wish to lead. I enjoy debating and ranting, and if there's anything annoying about kids is that you can't have a serious chat with them ...
again, i may be wrong... is there regret i sense in your words? you wrote about music with passion, but you suddenly toned down when you wrote about kids..