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Hi All,
This is my 1st Essay. Experts please provide your feedback for improvement.


IELTS Writing Example 1

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

You should write at least 250 words.


Few people argue that animals should not be exploited and they should have same rights as we humans are having for their survival. whereas others support that animals should be used for humans’ needs and survivals. Here, I am going to discuss both the points with relevant examples.
Firstly, Humans are the most important creature in the word. For humans’ existence and better survival, people argue that animals should be used in research for finding cure of dangerous diseases. For instance, horse’s blood is required to develop the medicines to cure snakes’ bite and those medicines are used to save the life of humans and in this case, animals suffering can be compromised.
Secondly, Animals are same like humans and they get pain when they are kept in case, used overly and killed for humans’ pleasures, luxury and show case. For example, animals are killed and their skins are used in production of many cosmetic and luxury products which are completely worthless. In addition, it has been proven that humans can get all required nutrition, what they get from animals’ meat, from vegetables and plants so there is no point of killing animals just for taste. Moreover, if right steps are not taken to save animals then killing of the animals can bring their existence in danger and time will come when they will vanish from the earth forever.
In summary, Animals should be used for research to some extent however, in my opinion; there should be rights for animals as humans to save their existence.
 

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You should enroll at Scott's English Sucess, a website with videos explaining how to correctly structure your text. That's where I trained and was able to score a flawless 9.0 in writing.
 

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Hi All,
This is my 1st Essay. Experts please provide your feedback for improvement.


IELTS Writing Example 1

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

You should write at least 250 words.


Few people argue that animals should not be exploited and they should have same rights as we humans are having for their survival. whereas others support that animals should be used for humans’ needs and survivals. Here, I am going to discuss both the points with relevant examples.
Firstly, Humans are the most important creature in the word. For humans’ existence and better survival, people argue that animals should be used in research for finding cure of dangerous diseases. For instance, horse’s blood is required to develop the medicines to cure snakes’ bite and those medicines are used to save the life of humans and in this case, animals suffering can be compromised.
Secondly, Animals are same like humans and they get pain when they are kept in case, used overly and killed for humans’ pleasures, luxury and show case. For example, animals are killed and their skins are used in production of many cosmetic and luxury products which are completely worthless. In addition, it has been proven that humans can get all required nutrition, what they get from animals’ meat, from vegetables and plants so there is no point of killing animals just for taste. Moreover, if right steps are not taken to save animals then killing of the animals can bring their existence in danger and time will come when they will vanish from the earth forever.
In summary, Animals should be used for research to some extent however, in my opinion; there should be rights for animals as humans to save their existence.
hi friend,

You can post your essays here, but, i would like to suggest you to post your essays in below threads as well.

There are many people who can assess your essay and can predict your approximate band scores.

http://www.expatforum.com/expats/au...ing-australia/164488-rate-my-ielts-essay.html

http://www.expatforum.com/expats/au...ts-getting-band-8-writing-67.html#post1905162

http://www.expatforum.com/expats/au...633-ielts-prepartion-exam-oct-nov-2013-a.html

http://www.expatforum.com/expats/au...ats-living-australia/185586-ielts-7-band.html

http://www.expatforum.com/expats/au...ts-living-australia/218882-rate-my-essay.html

http://www.expatforum.com/expats/au...ving-australia/181025-please-check-essay.html

happy writing!

Regards,
Sathiya
 
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