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As an HR Manager, I trawl through many job applications every day and end up deleting about 95% of them within 10 seconds. Since there are a lot of job seekers on this board, I thought I'd share some tips on how to get your CV deleted in 10 seconds or less.
1. Apply for "any suitable post." The recipient, faced with the prospect of reading all 7 pages of your CV to learn about your background and what post might be "suitable," will almost certainly hit the delete button instead.
2. Apply for postings for which you have none of the required qualifications. You've stated on your CV that you're a quick learner, so surely they'll pick you over the other applicant with the correct degree and 10 years of experience.
3. Don't bother checking the company's website to find the name of the HR Manager. Just assume it's a man and address your cover letter "Dear Sir".
4. If you're pressed for time, don't bother sending individual emails. Just CC every single company in Dubai.
5. Send a blank email with no subject line and attach your CV titled "copy of copy of cv (1)(1)(1)".
6. Make sure your cover letter explains how badly you need a job but let your qualifications and experience remain a mystery.
7. On your CV, use at least 3 different fonts at 4 different sizes. Get creative with bold, underlining, italics, and COLOUR! Also, make sure to indent every bullet differently.
8. Spelling, punctuation and grammar are irrelevant, so don't waste your time proofreading.
9. Photocopy your CV on your 17-year-old photocopier, fold it a few times, spill your coffee on it, and then drop it off in person.
10. Walk into the HR Manager's office without an appointment, sit down, and explain that you want a job. When the HR Manager tells you that there are no vacancies, tell her she's wrong and you know that there are. Keep on arguing for several minutes, drop your CV on her desk, and storm out.
I hope this helps! Best of luck in your search
1. Apply for "any suitable post." The recipient, faced with the prospect of reading all 7 pages of your CV to learn about your background and what post might be "suitable," will almost certainly hit the delete button instead.
2. Apply for postings for which you have none of the required qualifications. You've stated on your CV that you're a quick learner, so surely they'll pick you over the other applicant with the correct degree and 10 years of experience.
3. Don't bother checking the company's website to find the name of the HR Manager. Just assume it's a man and address your cover letter "Dear Sir".
4. If you're pressed for time, don't bother sending individual emails. Just CC every single company in Dubai.
5. Send a blank email with no subject line and attach your CV titled "copy of copy of cv (1)(1)(1)".
6. Make sure your cover letter explains how badly you need a job but let your qualifications and experience remain a mystery.
7. On your CV, use at least 3 different fonts at 4 different sizes. Get creative with bold, underlining, italics, and COLOUR! Also, make sure to indent every bullet differently.
8. Spelling, punctuation and grammar are irrelevant, so don't waste your time proofreading.
9. Photocopy your CV on your 17-year-old photocopier, fold it a few times, spill your coffee on it, and then drop it off in person.
10. Walk into the HR Manager's office without an appointment, sit down, and explain that you want a job. When the HR Manager tells you that there are no vacancies, tell her she's wrong and you know that there are. Keep on arguing for several minutes, drop your CV on her desk, and storm out.
I hope this helps! Best of luck in your search
