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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi Guys,
Can we start this thread to review and help each other on IELTS.
Can some one review my write up and let me know what band can i expect.


Topic is
Even though globalization affects the world�s economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.



Globalization is a term used to describe the fact that today, all the countries collaborate and integrate to exchange resources and information and mutually benefit in the process. While it can be regarded as the most positive phenomenon to occur in the in the 20th century, there are certain visible negatives associated with Globalization that need to be dealt with.

To begin with, globalization poses a direct threat to the small scale local businesses. Such enterprises may not be able to match-up to the might of multi-national companies. Local businesses thus resist the change that globalization can bring about. A recent example of such resistance was seen in the Indian Parliament where the ruling government had to stall proposals related to increase in foreign direct investments due to growing resistance from the local population.

Another undeniable and an indirect negative effect is about the strong cultural impact of globalization due to all the free and uncensored flow of information. The most obvious impact of such sharing of knowledge can be seen on the youth of the major cities who tend to disregard sensitivity of the prevalent society by the way they dress, speak, think and behave. An example of one such obsession can be proven by a fact that the fairness cream industry is worth over 2 Billion Dollars in India, more than any other country in the world.

Inspite of the disadvantages discussed above, globalization undeniably affects the developing nations in positive ways. Globalization allows to create employment for the local population, serves as a source of revenue for the govt in the form of taxes.

To summarize, i believe that in this day and age, it is quite unfathomable to develop any model for overall progress of the world without globalization being one of its important pillars. Surely, negative effects need to be dealt with and countries need to devise innovative solutions so that globalization and the local culture can synergize and co-exist.
 

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Sandeep they see how you use words and english as a language, you have written very well here but keep in mind, this applies to everyone, they dont want to see what your IQ level is or how much do you know about a particular topic, it is the use of language
 

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Hi Guys,
Can we start this thread to review and help each other on IELTS.
Can some one review my write up and let me know what band can i expect.


Topic is
Even though globalization affects the world�s economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.



Globalization is a term used to describe the fact that today, all the countries collaborate and integrate to exchange resources and information and mutually benefit in the process. While it can be regarded as the most positive phenomenon to occur in the in the 20th century, there are certain visible negatives associated with Globalization that need to be dealt with.

To begin with, globalization poses a direct threat to the small scale local businesses. Such enterprises may not be able to match-up to the might of multi-national companies. Local businesses thus resist the change that globalization can bring about. A recent example of such resistance was seen in the Indian Parliament where the ruling government had to stall proposals related to increase in foreign direct investments due to growing resistance from the local population.

Another undeniable and an indirect negative effect is about the strong cultural impact of globalization due to all the free and uncensored flow of information. The most obvious impact of such sharing of knowledge can be seen on the youth of the major cities who tend to disregard sensitivity of the prevalent society by the way they dress, speak, think and behave. An example of one such obsession can be proven by a fact that the fairness cream industry is worth over 2 Billion Dollars in India, more than any other country in the world.

Inspite of the disadvantages discussed above, globalization undeniably affects the developing nations in positive ways. Globalization allows to create employment for the local population, serves as a source of revenue for the govt in the form of taxes.

To summarize, i believe that in this day and age, it is quite unfathomable to develop any model for overall progress of the world without globalization being one of its important pillars. Surely, negative effects need to be dealt with and countries need to devise innovative solutions so that globalization and the local culture can synergize and co-exist.
Sandeep - It is a good writing with a scope to improve for higher score. Here are my points.

1. Try to find more synonyms for the keywords in the article and use different term in the essay. e.g Globalization is the repeated word throughout the essay (around 10 times). This can be reduced with synonyms or different structuring.

2. Similarly for words like negatives, positives, advantages you find alternate/synonyms more.

3. Positive of globalization is very short, you need to expand it for further few more lines.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Sandeep - It is a good writing with a scope to improve for higher score. Here are my points.

1. Try to find more synonyms for the keywords in the article and use different term in the essay. e.g Globalization is the repeated word throughout the essay (around 10 times). This can be reduced with synonyms or different structuring.

2. Similarly for words like negatives, positives, advantages you find alternate/synonyms more.

3. Positive of globalization is very short, you need to expand it for further few more lines.
Brilliant auzee_bujji..thanks for your comments...can u tell me if i had written the text as above..without working on any of the comments..what possibily would have been my score...and after your improvements..what would the score be?

thanks to you and all those who replied
 

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Brilliant auzee_bujji..thanks for your comments...can u tell me if i had written the text as above..without working on any of the comments..what possibily would have been my score...and after your improvements..what would the score be?

thanks to you and all those who replied
Sandeep - It would be anywhere between 6.5 and 7.0. Another question is, did you directly typed the essay in computer or written it on paper and later you typed in PC? Did you stick to the actual timelimit given for the exam?

Always practice writing part by "writing" and dont use PC, that way you can exactly measure how well you will do with real exam situation.

As Anjali pointed out, writing part is evaluated based on how good your writing is and not based on the content. But it will be good to keep the content interesting to read rather more statistical points/arguments.

More professional/article/news paper style writing will yield higher score, ok how to get that skill? Pick up some hot happening topics now and assume you are going to write it for a newspaper publication, and write it.

E.G now every one talks about sachins 100th century and every paper will have an article on this. So now you write an article on this and compare it with 10's of other articles and see how each article had presented this matter in different style. Understand the presentation style in general and learn from it.

I agree toughest part of IELTS for me and for many is writing, but more practice will help.
 

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Similarly you can some pick historical articles as well

1. Reporting India's win in World cup after 28 years (you can find plenty of articles on net)
2. US killing Osama bin laden's
3. Japan's earth quake
many more..

This will give you food for thought and help you to compare you writing style and learn from various well drafted articles. This is the way I followed.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Sandeep - It would be anywhere between 6.5 and 7.0. Another question is, did you directly typed the essay in computer or written it on paper and later you typed in PC? Did you stick to the actual timelimit given for the exam?

Always practice writing part by "writing" and dont use PC, that way you can exactly measure how well you will do with real exam situation.

As Anjali pointed out, writing part is evaluated based on how good your writing is and not based on the content. But it will be good to keep the content interesting to read rather more statistical points/arguments.

More professional/article/news paper style writing will yield higher score, ok how to get that skill? Pick up some hot happening topics now and assume you are going to write it for a newspaper publication, and write it.

E.G now every one talks about sachins 100th century and every paper will have an article on this. So now you write an article on this and compare it with 10's of other articles and see how each article had presented this matter in different style. Understand the presentation style in general and learn from it.

I agree toughest part of IELTS for me and for many is writing, but more practice will help.
Rightly said. I managed the time limit but didnt practice on paper and instead used notepad on PC. I should switch to paper pencil sooner than later.

thanks for your analysis.

Regards,
 
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