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Hi all, so I am going to the UK 14/8. I bought a dog when she was 10 weeks old back in 2014. Back then I was very depressed, lonely, and sad to say had some unpleasant thoughts about ending things. I had never travelled overseas before and never even contemplated it. I always thought I could never afford it, home in NZ is great, travelling isnt for me etc. Then I got Pepper. She is the most sweetest, loving dog and I love nothing more in this world. Late 2015 I decided I wanted to travel. I was in a good mindset (thanks to Pepper) and life was reasonably good. I went on my own travelling around Europe and the UK for 6 weeks. I came back and decided I wanted to give life in the UK a go. I have extended family there and I am in Christchurch, NZ. We had some major earthquakes here back in 2010 & 2011 and the city is still rebuilding. Its actually a very depressing place to live. There isnt much to see or do.

When I decided to make the move I had full intentions of taking my dog. I think of her like my child. I looked into Pet Transportation and costs. Horrific! NZD$5000 to get her there. I thought its only money I dont care I want her with me. A couple of months later, I started having doubts. The flight alone would be traumatising for her. I love her to death and if anything happened to her I could never forgive myself. She has seperation anxiety and loves to be near people. ANY people. She hates loud noises and unfamiliar territory. I also started thinking about housing. Would I be able to find a place for us? Especially as I have been looking at going to London. What happens if it didnt work out and I'd have to get us home? I wouldnt have the money for that. Today is the day she is going to her new owners. They are very well off, have 3 children, 12, 8 & 5. Pepper loves kids! All this time it has just been me and her. I felt like this would be the best choice for her. She would be very loved and cared for.

But since yesterday I have been having doubts. I love that fluffball more than my own life and feel I am being INCREDIBLY selfish all to make my life better. What if it did work out and I find a good place that she could of been with me? Yes I want to travel on weekends etc but there are doggy daycares and such. But then what if I end up doing long hours and she is home alone? For the past year we have been staying at my parents and she has been with my mums dogs throughout the day. I have NO idea what to do. I have been in constant tears and havent even been this upset when a family member has died, even close ones!

Has anybody had to make this choice? I have googled this subject and it pretty much tells me a dog is a forever home and that you dont just give away dogs because its inconvenient. ALL OF WHICH I AGREE. Hence my dilemma. I am so distraught and am even thinking about cancelling the entire move and just staying in NZ.

Friends, family and co-workers say Pepper will be better off. I dont know how I will ever get past the guilt and sadness of all this and wish I had never made plans to move now. Im scared for her. Im scared she will feel alone and abandoned. I can't explain to her whats going on. I feel like maybe I should have looked at other family options? She can't saty with my mum. She has 2 cocker spaniels (they are full on!). She's 56 and 3 dogs would be too much for her. All other family have dogs and I dont know that I would want Pepper with any of them. The new owner is a osteo and friend of my Mums. I am having a VERY, VERY hard time with this. I dont know what to do!!! :'( :'(
 

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What you do is to let Pepper go to her new secure and stable home.

You are going to a new country - you don't know yet where you will end up in the UK, what job you will have, what accommodation you can obtain.

Yes, you feel guilty (as you should) but both you and Pepper will get over this. The dog is only 3 years old - plenty young enough to adapt.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
What you do is to let Pepper go to her new secure and stable home.

You are going to a new country - you don't know yet where you will end up in the UK, what job you will have, what accommodation you can obtain.

Yes, you feel guilty (as you should) but both you and Pepper will get over this. The dog is only 3 years old - plenty young enough to adapt.
Thank you for your reply. I have just texted the owner saying that if its not working out after a week let me know so I can make alternative arrangements. I dont know what that would be though. She hasnt replied yet...

Yes Pepper is only 3 and has a lifespan of about 15yrs so the new owner will (hopefully!) have her longer than what I have. Reading stories about the flights is not comforting at all so my only option is to rehome her or not go..

She missed me for 3 days when I went last year but then was good as gold but she was at my mums so didnt change homes :(
 

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Hi all, so I am going to the UK 14/8. I bought a dog when she was 10 weeks old back in 2014. Back then I was very depressed, lonely, and sad to say had some unpleasant thoughts about ending things. I had never travelled overseas before and never even contemplated it. I always thought I could never afford it, home in NZ is great, travelling isnt for me etc. Then I got Pepper. She is the most sweetest, loving dog and I love nothing more in this world. Late 2015 I decided I wanted to travel. I was in a good mindset (thanks to Pepper) and life was reasonably good. I went on my own travelling around Europe and the UK for 6 weeks. I came back and decided I wanted to give life in the UK a go. I have extended family there and I am in Christchurch, NZ. We had some major earthquakes here back in 2010 & 2011 and the city is still rebuilding. Its actually a very depressing place to live. There isnt much to see or do.

When I decided to make the move I had full intentions of taking my dog. I think of her like my child. I looked into Pet Transportation and costs. Horrific! NZD$5000 to get her there. I thought its only money I dont care I want her with me. A couple of months later, I started having doubts. The flight alone would be traumatising for her. I love her to death and if anything happened to her I could never forgive myself. She has seperation anxiety and loves to be near people. ANY people. She hates loud noises and unfamiliar territory. I also started thinking about housing. Would I be able to find a place for us? Especially as I have been looking at going to London. What happens if it didnt work out and I'd have to get us home? I wouldnt have the money for that. Today is the day she is going to her new owners. They are very well off, have 3 children, 12, 8 & 5. Pepper loves kids! All this time it has just been me and her. I felt like this would be the best choice for her. She would be very loved and cared for.

But since yesterday I have been having doubts. I love that fluffball more than my own life and feel I am being INCREDIBLY selfish all to make my life better. What if it did work out and I find a good place that she could of been with me? Yes I want to travel on weekends etc but there are doggy daycares and such. But then what if I end up doing long hours and she is home alone? For the past year we have been staying at my parents and she has been with my mums dogs throughout the day. I have NO idea what to do. I have been in constant tears and havent even been this upset when a family member has died, even close ones!

Has anybody had to make this choice? I have googled this subject and it pretty much tells me a dog is a forever home and that you dont just give away dogs because its inconvenient. ALL OF WHICH I AGREE. Hence my dilemma. I am so distraught and am even thinking about cancelling the entire move and just staying in NZ.

Friends, family and co-workers say Pepper will be better off. I dont know how I will ever get past the guilt and sadness of all this and wish I had never made plans to move now. Im scared for her. Im scared she will feel alone and abandoned. I can't explain to her whats going on. I feel like maybe I should have looked at other family options? She can't saty with my mum. She has 2 cocker spaniels (they are full on!). She's 56 and 3 dogs would be too much for her. All other family have dogs and I dont know that I would want Pepper with any of them. The new owner is a osteo and friend of my Mums. I am having a VERY, VERY hard time with this. I dont know what to do!!! :'( :'(
Adding too what Crawford has said, and knowing Christchurch, the London environment, unless in suburbs, is quite different and for sure leaving your Friend ( Pepper) is the right decision. As you say she is with a good family who will care for her and in no time at all she will settle in the new home. You have concerns about leaving her, but look at it this way would it be fair to Pepper let alone the new Family to remove her when she has settled in. I think not. Many working people in the UK leave a dog shut away or enclosed whilst at work, this is not fair to the dog when they see no one except their owner first thing in the morning and then again late in the day.
Look forward to your new life in the UK and once settled and have suitable accommodation, consider getting another Friend, there are many Dog rescue centres in the UK who are happy to re-home to good and suitable people.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Adding too what Crawford has said, and knowing Christchurch, the London environment, unless in suburbs, is quite different and for sure leaving your Friend ( Pepper) is the right decision. As you say she is with a good family who will care for her and in no time at all she will settle in the new home. You have concerns about leaving her, but look at it this way would it be fair to Pepper let alone the new Family to remove her when she has settled in. I think not. Many working people in the UK leave a dog shut away or enclosed whilst at work, this is not fair to the dog when they see no one except their owner first thing in the morning and then again late in the day.
Look forward to your new life in the UK and once settled and have suitable accommodation, consider getting another Friend, there are many Dog rescue centres in the UK who are happy to re-home to good and suitable people.
Thank you for your kind words. I spoke to the new owner and she is going to keep me updated on how Pepper is doing. Pepper is there now. She was so excited being there with the kids and they have already taken her out for a walk to the park. Peppers well being is my number 1 priority and its hard thinking I'm doing the best for her but Im also torn that all she would want is to be with me. Absolutely heart wrenching. I only take comfort in knowing she had a great life with me and will have an even better life with the new family. I dont think I could ever get another furbaby, far too hard emotionally :'( I just can't believe some of the things I've read about people dumping animals in shelters. I would have cancelled my trip for sure if I had no other option. Even over the next week if Pepper doesnt settle in, I will still consider cancelling I love her that much. Animals are such a huge part of the family - they are family. I feel like I've let her down. Hopefully if anyone else reads this and considers leaving pets behind they understand how terrible it is and make sure the pet is in the very best of situations before they leave them behind. If I was in a relationship and not on my own it might of been more possible but there is still the main issue of the long flight time that would probably traumatise her. I wish there was an easier way for dogs or any other pets to travel internationally. Sitting next to me she would of been fine but not alone in a cargo hold and also god knows how the flight would be also :'( :'(
 

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I went through this when I moved in 2016. I had my dachshund daisy for 10 years. I left her with my mother in the US as her sister Miss Beasley and her had been together everyday since they were puppies. Rather than traumatize daisy and myself by wondering if she would be ok transporting her. I decided to leave her behind in the states. Miss Beasley passed way on thanksgiving day and I basically do miss daisy but I realize she is much better off over there in the states where she has been in a 1 acre yard she can roam at will and the neighbors ect. Here the yard sizes suck ass and basically leave pepper in NZ where she will be happy. After a while she will be ok. You just have to basically know that your doing the best thing for the dog.

Also I do video chat with my mom and daisy sometimes. Maybe you could arrange to at least video chat with the new owner and pepper. That will help ease your guilt and sadness. If it doesn't work out maybe your mom could keep her until you could arrange to get her moved over to England. Things could work out.
 

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I feel your pain. When we moved to NZ in 2015, we were all set to bring our dog with us. But when my parents offered to keep him for us, though the decision broke our hearts, we agreed. The thought of the flight, the stress, the heat when he got here - opposed to staying with people he knew and who loved him. We had to do what we felt was right for him, and we left him there. It was very hard for us (and tbh, one of the reasons we are now moving back!) but we know that it was the right choice.
I think if you are comfortable with the family you have chosen for Pepper, you're doing the right thing. Leaving your dog is agony - and if it isn't, you didn't love them enough in the first place. You obviously do love her and you've given her a great start - and a happy future.

Now, on our return, we are taking our new dog with us. We couldn't cope without one, so got him knowing that when we returned, we would have to budget to include him too! And that also stings! Good luck!
 
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