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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi everyone,

I'm seriously thinking of Australia (Melbourne, in fact) as my next move but visiting this site got me a little nervous as people who move as far away as down under seem to have done it with their families, whereas I'm a single girl (aged 26) and my family think I've lost the plot for wanting to move so far away all alone, and not knowing anyone in Oz....I'm super excited about going but slightly scared as it's a huge step, naturally...any ideas? Should I just not listen to anyone and go for it or have I really lost my marbles here for wanting to throw myself in the deep end as the familia think?
 

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Hi everyone,

I'm seriously thinking of Australia (Melbourne, in fact) as my next move but visiting this site got me a little nervous as people who move as far away as down under seem to have done it with their families, whereas I'm a single girl (aged 26) and my family think I've lost the plot for wanting to move so far away all alone, and not knowing anyone in Oz....I'm super excited about going but slightly scared as it's a huge step, naturally...any ideas? Should I just not listen to anyone and go for it or have I really lost my marbles here for wanting to throw myself in the deep end as the familia think?
Do what is right for you. I find it terrible that families use emotional blackmail to try and keep relatives close by. Moving away from my family was the best move I ever made. I was able to start a new life, with nothing holding me back. I certainly don't think you've lost your marbles. What if you stay where you are because of family pressure, and then the next month they decide to move across the world instead? life is unpredictable. Do what you want, while you can enjoy it.
 

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Hi there,

Which visa were you thinking of coming over on?

I too think it's awful how friends and family can make you feel so awful about emigrating. Yes, in a way we are selfish in that we are doing what 'we' want, but if circumstances were different most of them would jump at the chance of doing exactly what they are making us feel grotty about. This is all part and parcel of being an expat and this is what we have to learn to live with, the guilt.

Do what you feel is right for you.

Dolly
 

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The family guilt thing does happen alot, but it also changes after the move (doesn't stay family guilt for life).

I have a question about you: How independent are you?

Could you do everything without any help from family or friends?

1. Moving
2. Finding a job
3. Finding a place to live
4. Buying all the stuff in a new place, appliances, furniture
5. Keeping the place neat/clean
6. Cooking
7. Finding time to live and enjoy your life

No particular order, but if you had to do all of that in your home country could you do it?

You will most definitely miss your family when you move here, have you given thought to what you will do when you're feeling down in the dumps or blue (sad)?

Are you the kind of person who can bring themselves out of a blue period?

Also do you need friends around all of the time, eventually you do make friends but the first months or even year can be a lonely period.

I did the move all by myself with no close family around, only people I knew were the people from work. I was 29 when I did the move.

Hi everyone,

I'm seriously thinking of Australia (Melbourne, in fact) as my next move but visiting this site got me a little nervous as people who move as far away as down under seem to have done it with their families, whereas I'm a single girl (aged 26) and my family think I've lost the plot for wanting to move so far away all alone, and not knowing anyone in Oz....I'm super excited about going but slightly scared as it's a huge step, naturally...any ideas? Should I just not listen to anyone and go for it or have I really lost my marbles here for wanting to throw myself in the deep end as the familia think?
 

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Life is for living, you wouldnt want to look back in 20 years and regret not living your life to the max.

Do it if you want, and at least if it doesnt work out you can come back to England knowing that at least you gave it a go.

Its a lot simpler in your situation, rather than shipping a family of 4 across the world. I almost envy you.

Go for it. Life life to the max and never have regrets.

Megan x
 

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Hi everyone,

I'm seriously thinking of Australia (Melbourne, in fact) as my next move but visiting this site got me a little nervous as people who move as far away as down under seem to have done it with their families, whereas I'm a single girl (aged 26) and my family think I've lost the plot for wanting to move so far away all alone, and not knowing anyone in Oz....I'm super excited about going but slightly scared as it's a huge step, naturally...any ideas? Should I just not listen to anyone and go for it or have I really lost my marbles here for wanting to throw myself in the deep end as the familia think?
In my experience, the 'insane' argument is used when people don't know how to respond. I think moving would be a huge step for anyone, so you won't be alone. Different people have different reasons for going, and everyone has had a different experience. There's no guarantee that it'll work out, but then you could move to Australia and find that you live the rest of your life there. Who knows?

Take a chance - it might not work out and you'll move back home or somewhere else. But then again it might be perfect. Your family are afraid because of the distances involved and the worry they won't see you for a long time. That's hard, but the whole point about growing up is being able to make decisions for yourself and that are for your benefit, not just everyone elses.

It's not uncommon to fall in love with other people, but how often do you get that feeling about another place? Think really hard - despite all the difficulties, does this feel right in your gut? Just make sure you choose to stay or go because it's right for you, not just because you feel pressurised by other circumstances (or people).

I always have a small smile appear on my face when I think about my eventual move to Aus and I just drift away into what my future might have in store. Yeah, it might not work out and it's arguably the most selfish thing I've ever done, but I'd rather say I gave it a shot. And somehow I think that it will work out and my family will understand it's what I want to do.

Go for it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thank you all for your support on this...these were always my thoughts too but they're beginning to get skewed by my family but I know I need to be selfish and if the move is a mistake well, at least it's MY mistake right?

The family guilt thing does happen alot, but it also changes after the move (doesn't stay family guilt for life).

I have a question about you: How independent are you?

Could you do everything without any help from family or friends?

1. Moving
2. Finding a job
3. Finding a place to live
4. Buying all the stuff in a new place, appliances, furniture
5. Keeping the place neat/clean
6. Cooking
7. Finding time to live and enjoy your life

No particular order, but if you had to do all of that in your home country could you do it?

You will most definitely miss your family when you move here, have you given thought to what you will do when you're feeling down in the dumps or blue (sad)?

Are you the kind of person who can bring themselves out of a blue period?

Also do you need friends around all of the time, eventually you do make friends but the first months or even year can be a lonely period.

I did the move all by myself with no close family around, only people I knew were the people from work. I was 29 when I did the move.


I consider myself quite independent, I've lived away from home for 7 years (but always in countries close to home), and have managed to do things solo, this doesn't scare me at all, I know I'm more than able to find flat, job, etc. on my own, no doubt. I can definitely take care of myself alone. As for the "what will I do if I'm feeling blue" that is exactly the argument my family uses to stop me from going to Oz! Yes, I get blue from time to time, who doesn't? But I'm generally a very happy, bubbly person and if I do get blue I'll get over it, I always do, there's no other way, and I don't depend on others to get me out of it. Sure, talking to my closest friends and family helps a bunch but am I scared of being alone in a time of need, yes and no, yes because I know how hard it can be, no because I've done it so many times before....
 

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OK, looks like you're ready for a move. I think you'll need to be selfish and just brace yourself for some tears and such when you do move over (from your family). The guilt thing is their way of keeping things normal for them, but that takes away from your own freedom. Not fair for you.

When I left there were alot of BBQs and dinners with the family but I do see them more now (because I visit about every 10-18 months and they've come down sometimes for weeks and months).

Thank you all for your support on this...these were always my thoughts too but they're beginning to get skewed by my family but I know I need to be selfish and if the move is a mistake well, at least it's MY mistake right?





I consider myself quite independent, I've lived away from home for 7 years (but always in countries close to home), and have managed to do things solo, this doesn't scare me at all, I know I'm more than able to find flat, job, etc. on my own, no doubt. I can definitely take care of myself alone. As for the "what will I do if I'm feeling blue" that is exactly the argument my family uses to stop me from going to Oz! Yes, I get blue from time to time, who doesn't? But I'm generally a very happy, bubbly person and if I do get blue I'll get over it, I always do, there's no other way, and I don't depend on others to get me out of it. Sure, talking to my closest friends and family helps a bunch but am I scared of being alone in a time of need, yes and no, yes because I know how hard it can be, no because I've done it so many times before....
 

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All I would say is, why not.. apply fro the visa, ot the most what would happen, you wont like it, you can always come back, or who knows once you have the visa in hand, you wont feel like going.. but atleast you wont regret not applying or not trying..
Life is short, live your dreams..
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
In my experience, the 'insane' argument is used when people don't know how to respond. I think moving would be a huge step for anyone, so you won't be alone. Different people have different reasons for going, and everyone has had a different experience. There's no guarantee that it'll work out, but then you could move to Australia and find that you live the rest of your life there. Who knows?

Take a chance - it might not work out and you'll move back home or somewhere else. But then again it might be perfect. Your family are afraid because of the distances involved and the worry they won't see you for a long time. That's hard, but the whole point about growing up is being able to make decisions for yourself and that are for your benefit, not just everyone elses.

It's not uncommon to fall in love with other people, but how often do you get that feeling about another place? Think really hard - despite all the difficulties, does this feel right in your gut? Just make sure you choose to stay or go because it's right for you, not just because you feel pressurised by other circumstances (or people).

I always have a small smile appear on my face when I think about my eventual move to Aus and I just drift away into what my future might have in store. Yeah, it might not work out and it's arguably the most selfish thing I've ever done, but I'd rather say I gave it a shot. And somehow I think that it will work out and my family will understand it's what I want to do.

Go for it.

That's what my family is scared of, that things WILL work out for me and that I'll end up staying there forever. As far as I'm concerned, if that happens it means that's what's making me happy and it would be my choice and I'm ok with that! My sister's making me feel like s**t because I'm chosing a life away from my family, I won't see her kids being born/growing up/missing family get togethers/if something happens to mum and dad I won't be there for them....


I do have a strong gutt feeling about Aus, and I too have a smile on my face whenever I think to myself "gosh this time next year I might be living in Australia!".


I'm definitely sure I do NOT want to go back home, not now anyway, and I also know that if I do go than I'll end up resenting the people that stopped me from doing my own thing and I will end up resenting home as well.

On the other hand, if I do go I'm now aware of the fact that I cannot turn to my family if anything goes wrong as I'll be getting the whole "I told you so" lecture...so I am really, totally, completely on my own on this one....but I'm sure other people have done it too right? Packed up and moved to the other side of the globe on their own?

Well I don't want to let fear or guilt get in my way but grateful for both in a weird way as it makes the whole chasing this dream all the more exciting...
 

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Guess that if you are considered that you lost your mind then many others did too, including myself, two years ago I was about to make the move, then due to different reasons but one of them the emotional barrier, I recalculated everything and why the fuss about moving accross the world while I have a stable life where I am, that was my way to rationalize the emotional stress I had and end up refusing a job offer and stop the immigration process completely.

Along the two years after, the thoughts kept coming back, and the age clock kept ticking, I could see clearly why I want to move and what good could that be to my life, it remains a question if it will work or not, but clearly if you do it earlier your chances to start fresh without the need to ship 4 people across the world might be a lot easier, and if it didn't work for you unlikely, you would gain also huge experience.

But what if you don't do it, your dreams will keep haunting you back all your life, what if, what if, what if, I wouldn't assume you should just jump the cliff blindly but make a plan and do your home work, calculate your chances and take the plunge.

I did the homework and I am currently applying, I will go for it and will avoid being haunted for a life time.

Good Luck and Keep us posted,

M. Omar
 

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Hi
In 2005 I discussed with my brothers and sisters that I want to move. All of them said that its a bad idea and the maximum I should do is to change the City.
Now in 2010 two out of three are in OZ and NZ, third one is in UK . And I am the only one left behind :). Trying to move now.

Cheers !!!!
Roofi
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
M.Omar, thanks for that...the huge "what if" will indeed keep haunting me if I don't go...of course the guilt will also haunt me if I do, I wonder if that will wear off though.

Roofi! Oh my goodness that is SUCH an unfair turn of events! Good on you for going for it now and I get your point completely..

Thanks to all of you, it's so good to know you too felt guilty about leaving family behind, it's natural I suppose. Thanks for your highly rated opinions, very good to hear it from an unbiased point of view...I feel more positive about this and the more I think about down under the more excited I get!
 

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Forgive me, I am jumping straight in here without fully reading all the other posts, so if I repeat anything, sorry :eek:)

You go for it girl!! I have a friend in Melbourne who took off to Melbourne in her twenties, she is so happy and life is treating her brilliantly.

It is always tough for families and friends to let go, but if they love you then they will cry a tear, force a smile and wish you well. Once you are there all the emotions will settle down in time, especially if they see that you are happy and doing well.

I live by the motto "What could you do if you were not afraid?"

Good luck to you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Forgive me, I am jumping straight in here without fully reading all the other posts, so if I repeat anything, sorry :eek:)

You go for it girl!! I have a friend in Melbourne who took off to Melbourne in her twenties, she is so happy and life is treating her brilliantly.

It is always tough for families and friends to let go, but if they love you then they will cry a tear, force a smile and wish you well. Once you are there all the emotions will settle down in time, especially if they see that you are happy and doing well.

I live by the motto "What could you do if you were not afraid?"

Good luck to you.
Thank you lepeyrou, there's a lot of truth in that motto and I do think we'd do a lot more with ourselves if we weren't afraid...or so skinned all the time! Well...at least I would anyway!

Thanks for the thumbs up!
 

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Just do it.

Some things in life are just bigger than everything else. To me, "see the world" overrules everything else - hands down. Eye of the beholder, I guess.

It's more important than a mere job. Career? It's an abstract concept. Won't I have a chance to have a career elsewhere?

At the very least, it's about pushing oneself out of one's comfort zone. How can that be bad.

Family is important but for now, I've just go to go. The world - it's right out there!
 

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Just do it.

Some things in life are just bigger than everything else. To me, "see the world" overrules everything else - hands down. Eye of the beholder, I guess.

It's more important than a mere job. Career? It's an abstract concept. Won't I have a chance to have a career elsewhere?

At the very least, it's about pushing oneself out of one's comfort zone. How can that be bad.

Family is important but for now, I've just go to go. The world - it's right out there!
 
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