Expat Forum For People Moving Overseas And Living Abroad banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 16 of 16 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Dear Sir,
My name is Shana and i am 20 year old british national by birth. I did nikkah with a pakistani national who was on a student visa which expired in 2011.We knew eachother for a long time and i wanted to marry him but because of my age and a strict family it was not an easy decision to make.In 2014 me and my husband now wanted to get together and do nikkah so i spoke to my dad about it and he refused and told my uncles and aunties about it. I got forced to leave my husband which i refused and left home for couple of days and did nikkah with my husband. My family convinced us to get back home and do things formally to not harm the family pride. We agreed and i went back home. I got locked up in my uncle's house and was told to change my mind or face the consequences. I resisted and in the mean time my husband went to police station and raised concerns about my saftey. Police looked for me and found me and i couldn't tell them the truth knowing it would get my parents in trouble and i didn't want them to get arrested. I got visited few times by police and they were not entirely neutral as i feel my uncles had some kind of influence on them which made them not help me and they kept my husband in dark about any communication they had with me and just satisfied him with self made statements about me.In the meantime my family arranged for me to go Pakistan. Now i had two choices. Either to marry my cousin or live in Pakistan until i get over my love life. One day before i went pakistan police and social services took statements of me and my husband. They gave me a choice if i want to go with husband i cannot go Pakistan which was a dangerous choice because i knew noone not even police will help us if i go against my family at this moment so i wanted to give it sometime to not get in any more trouble as i already had alot of torcher from my uncle so i stayed quiet. I went Pakistan and somehow contacted my husband and i managed to get back to England after a long hard struggle of pretending i will not do anything against family's will upon my arrival in UK. when i got back i left home after couple of days and reunited with my husband.
Now we are stuck in a dead end. We are together in a genuine relationship but we cannot figure out how we can get legally accepted.We are living a hard life now because he cannot get a visa as am not earning 18600 and he is overstayed. We cannot register our marriage as he don't have a valid passport or visa.
I want to know if my circumstances help us earn any sympathy as i am a citizen of this country since birth and if i lose my husband i will be left on my own with no money and no one to help.I have faith in my decision as i choose what i thought was right but will this judicial system support me in anyway to just be able to settle down after everything i been through.
Please write back.
Regards.
Shana
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
39,103 Posts
You should really get in touch with forced marriage unit at your local police and seek help.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
80 Posts
Is very sad story i feel sorry for you and hope all will be all right soon
But Joppa right,you should contact professionals ,police and force marriage unit
Good Luck
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
20 Posts
I'm so sorry to hear of your situation and agree with the suggestion of contacting the forced marriage unit. There is also a UK based charity dedicated to helping victims of forced marriage. It is called Karma Nirvana (I can't post links but if you Google it you will find their website). I don't personally know anyone who has had to use their services, but in the event that you are too frightened to contact legal authorities, it might be a good place for you to start.
Best of luck to you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks for your advice. I wanted to update you guys on my progress.
1) when i was sent to pakistan by my family even though i went willingly as i was going through alot of stress and pressure from my family and police and social services didn't give me much choice apart from choosing if i want to go pakistan or i want to go with my husband which would have been a dangerous move for both of us at that time so in police records i went pakistan willingly and i didn't want to reunite with my husband.
When i was in Pakistan my husband contacted this charity Kamra nivara and they tried to guide him how to contact British embassy in pakistan and other information but that was the most they could do at time.
I have been in touch with force marriage unit on two occasions. First time i emailed them when i first got back with my husband but there reply was all questions.Wanting to know where i was. who i was with. where was my husband from and stuff that i wasn't comfortable answering so i didn't reply to them.
Second time i contacted them recently and i stressed on the point that i am not contacting to disclose information as i only have one person with me as family thats my husband all i want to know is what hwlp can you provide me with settling down our immigration matters and this time they were specific in there reply and told me that they cannot do anything about immigration issues they can only help if i was being forced to marry someone. So here i am back to where i started from.
How about if i moved to ireland with my husband. Can he travel with me or can we get a short leave to stay and marry there under eu law with him being a overstayer in Uk and can we return to Uk if we did get there and got married.
Am so sorry that i keep coming back with so many questions but i tried getting legal advice from some immigration lawyers and they want £75 for a phone conversation which is hard for me to afford at the moment. Thanks ever so much for your advice.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,209 Posts
They aren't there to help you with immigration matters. If your situation is as dire as you make it out to be, take the help they're offering.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,209 Posts
No, it isn't ignorant. You come here and breathlessly tell us this horrible story about forced marriage, and the only thing you're concerned about is an immigration matter? That doesn't sound right. Either your situation isn't as dire as you make it out to be, or your priorities are really skewed. In any case, I hope you do look after yourself - it sounds like a terrible situation.
 

·
Super Moderator
Originally from UK but lived in many countries
Joined
·
6,963 Posts
Hi,
I don't think you helped your situation by being selective with the questions you were prepared to answer.
These help organizations are not there to judge you and by refusing to answer certain questions they are not getting a true picture of your situation.
This in turn affects the advice and help they are prepared and able to give you.
If you approach the police or help organization again - you need to be prepared to tell them everything and properly answer the questions - or you are really wasting their time and yours.
Best of luck
Steve
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,882 Posts
What do you mean dire as you make it out to be??
thats very ignorant of you.

You clearly don't understand the definition of the word 'dire'. I suggest you look it up in a dictionary before calling someone else ignorant because the fact is that it is you who is ignorant (of the meaning of the word).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,882 Posts
Dear Sir,
My name is Shana and i am 20 year old british national by birth. I did nikkah with a pakistani national who was on a student visa which expired in 2011.We knew eachother for a long time and i wanted to marry him but because of my age and a strict family it was not an easy decision to make.In 2014 me and my husband now wanted to get together and do nikkah so i spoke to my dad about it and he refused and told my uncles and aunties about it. I got forced to leave my husband which i refused and left home for couple of days and did nikkah with my husband. My family convinced us to get back home and do things formally to not harm the family pride. We agreed and i went back home. I got locked up in my uncle's house and was told to change my mind or face the consequences. I resisted and in the mean time my husband went to police station and raised concerns about my saftey. Police looked for me and found me and i couldn't tell them the truth knowing it would get my parents in trouble and i didn't want them to get arrested. I got visited few times by police and they were not entirely neutral as i feel my uncles had some kind of influence on them which made them not help me and they kept my husband in dark about any communication they had with me and just satisfied him with self made statements about me.
That sounds like a crappy situation and it is high time something was done about these abhorrent practices being followed in a modern, Liberal democracy.

But for you to claim that your uncles had influence over the police is taking it a bit too far - what will have happened is that it came down to their word against yours and if there are more of them they are more likely to be believed than you.


In the meantime my family arranged for me to go Pakistan. Now i had two choices. Either to marry my cousin

:eek:



One day before i went pakistan police and social services took statements of me and my husband. They gave me a choice if i want to go with husband i cannot go Pakistan which was a dangerous choice because i knew noone not even police will help us if i go against my family at this moment so i wanted to give it sometime to not get in any more trouble as i already had alot of torcher from my uncle so i stayed quiet. I went Pakistan and somehow contacted my husband and i managed to get back to England after a long hard struggle of pretending i will not do anything against family's will upon my arrival in UK. when i got back i left home after couple of days and reunited with my husband.
Now we are stuck in a dead end. We are together in a genuine relationship but we cannot figure out how we can get legally accepted.We are living a hard life now because he cannot get a visa as am not earning 18600 and he is overstayed. We cannot register our marriage as he don't have a valid passport or visa.
I want to know if my circumstances help us earn any sympathy as i am a citizen of this country since birth and if i lose my husband i will be left on my own with no money and no one to help.I have faith in my decision as i choose what i thought was right but will this judicial system support me in anyway to just be able to settle down after everything i been through.
Please write back.
Regards.
Shana

Perhaps you need to contact an immigration lawyer to find out if there is any way that he can stay because of your situation. That being said, I doubt there is because you do not earn enough money to support him and you won't be considered legally married if the marriage was never registered (where did you get married anyway?).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Thanks Steve. I kind of realized that too. I want to make one thing clear. I am not trying to earn any sympathy from anyone. Whatever information i provided is in police record and about my husband i have to be careful. How can i make anyone understand that am 20 years old. If my husband is sebtsent back i have no family left. I am in a different city from where i was born I lived all my life. That's why am being careful. Does that make sense AMY?
What is surrender route. how about if i moved to ireland and found a job there.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
18,072 Posts
In her OP she claimed to be a British national by birth which would indicate that she is from Britain and that English would be her first language:
That doesn't mean English is her 1st language especially if her parents are immigrants.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Guys am here to get advice i don't want to waste anyone's time and i really appreciate everyone's input.Am here to get advice on a particular matter and that's immigration so i will try get as much information i can from you guys.
 
1 - 16 of 16 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top