Expat Forum For People Moving Overseas And Living Abroad banner

41 - 52 of 52 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,772 Posts
Agree completely. Before my current marriage (19 years and still going strong) I had two other marriages and a couple more very committed relationships. I don't regret any of them and I never wanted anybody else while I was with them. But you know when it's time to move on ... And I never had kids; as you say, they are the real life-long commitment.
I am very much looking forward to meeting you someday, Alcalaina. A life without love is a life not worth living. You seem to have been blessed with much love in your life. :love:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
630 Posts
Hubbly Bubbly,

Here is a bit of light reading with regards to that issue about women I was discussing earlier. If you really want to know more, Im sure youll have better luck Googling it than I did, as I didnt spend more than 5 minutes finding a few random articles. (In case Sex in the City and Desperate Housewives aren't enough).

I know it seemed like some of the ladies on here were also not aware of this competitiveness between women, which I find hard to believe but alas... they might want to click on some of these or do their own research. :)

Why do women hate on each other so much ?

Why Women Hate Other Women

Do women compete against each other, more than support each other? - EmpowHER.com

USATODAY.com - Do women compete in unhealthy ways at work?

When do women compete against each other? - Yahoo! Answers


Why ...? Take your pick:

Not everyone wants to flit from one relationship to another when things get a bit difficult.
Well I cant argue with your points... I guess there is no right or wrong answer to that question, but I think sex, affection, tenderness, flirting, chemistry, etc. is important for both partners, even if woman doesnt want it as much... Its a difficult position to be in. Dead end marriage and no physical happiness... yikes.
I do have a lot of married friends though, that complain about it... it seems to be quite commonplace, sex takes a backseat to everything else.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,890 Posts
I know it seemed like some of the ladies on here were also not aware of this competitiveness between women, which I find hard to believe but alas... they might want to click on some of these or do their own research. :)

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090423042140AAYwub3
We understand this... at least I hope most women know this 'phenomenon'. It just isnt something we like to admit that any of US would do... :D Mature women tend to like to say we have grown out of this :D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,772 Posts
Hubbly Bubbly,

Here is a bit of light reading with regards to that issue about women I was discussing earlier. If you really want to know more, Im sure youll have better luck Googling it than I did, as I didnt spend more than 5 minutes finding a few random articles. (In case Sex in the City and Desperate Housewives aren't enough).

I know it seemed like some of the ladies on here were also not aware of this competitiveness between women, which I find hard to believe but alas... they might want to click on some of these or do their own research. :)

Why do women hate on each other so much ?

Why Women Hate Other Women

Do women compete against each other, more than support each other? - EmpowHER.com

USATODAY.com - Do women compete in unhealthy ways at work?

When do women compete against each other? - Yahoo! Answers




Well I cant argue with your points... I guess there is no right or wrong answer to that question, but I think sex, affection, tenderness, flirting, chemistry, etc. is important for both partners, even if woman doesnt want it as much... Its a difficult position to be in. Dead end marriage and no physical happiness... yikes.
I do have a lot of married friends though, that complain about it... it seems to be quite commonplace, sex takes a backseat to everything else.
NS, dude, I wasn't trying to pick a fight. Just trying to understand what you were saying.

Sex In The City and Desperate Housewives are hardly scientific studies of women to lay down a comment, "Women who are clearly lying... No woman is left behind law." Indeed, SITC does wonders (finally) to show four beautiful, independent women who can think for themselves. That fact they are friends and have much in common, shouldn't be misconstrued as *****y competition. Desperate Housewives is Hollywood pandering to the masses with all the generalisations about women, so they can make a buck. And then some.

As for your links, I read some, thought about it some and could show you links in return for how men behave when left to their own devices. You don't need Google for that though, just turn on the news, or read a newspaper. Men can be pigs when left to their own devices as a group.

But is that all groups of men? Fortunately not. I dare say it's the not same with all women either. Otherwise, if that were really the case, the world would be full of Stepford wives wannabes.

And finally, there are also plenty of singles who complain about not having sex too. Just take a look at the explosion of dating sites around the world. That was once a no-no too.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15,398 Posts
Discussion Starter #45
Alcalaina I just want to say, off topic maybe but I geniunely want to say good for you. Its not easy to find one person to be with, much less three throughout your lifetime. Youve been very fortunate in that sense... I know people that never married for whatever reason and they are 60-70 years of age and just did not happen.

Then again, one must wonder if its better to have gone through life as a bachelor enjoying the single lifestyle, although someone lonely, than a horrible, bitter divorce at some point... hrm...I think maybe now I understand one of my uncles. Hes like 49 and still has yet to marry.
I guess you just have to trust your feelings, take a few risks and not get hung up on what might have been. I don´t want to sound like your auntie, but when it´s time to settle down you will know! In the meantime, just enjoy each day as it comes. :love:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
630 Posts
@ Hubbly Bubbly : I didnt say you were picking a fight, unfortunately the tone of someone's words in text format can't be readily shown but I will point out that those shows are popular with women for a reason and in many of the DVD interviews the producers and the actors have all agreed the reason those shows have been a major success, is due to the realism of how people behave on them or interact with each other. (My favorite Desperate Housewife has to be Bree, she always gets upset when another housewife makes a better pie or dish for their gatherings, as she considers herself to be the best cook...)

Sort of like for me, watching Entourage, a show about 4 close friends in Hollywood is extremely similar to my experiences with my close guy friends. We aren't Hollywood movie stars but we certainly identify with those characters and their behavior.

There are two other shows that became hugely popular due to how they mirrored many "real-life" interactions between people, Seinfeld (a comedy in the US) and Friends (another comedy in the US). Both were broadcast for many years. While Ill admit that it will never be identical to what you experience, you can identify with the characters on a general level.

Anyway, point is that my friends (female) made up this rule about how they will never allow another woman to simply state something without being "one-upped" and in conversations, although they aren't consciously aware of it, its exactly what they do. I didn't realize you would get so bothered by this... If you don't agree, its ok not to agree. Nothing wrong with it but you asked where I'd seen or heard and its a widely accepted fact that women are extremely competitive in the aforementioned sense.

@ Alcalaina : I couldnt agree more. Life is all about living it, not planning it.
 
N

·
Guest
Joined
·
0 Posts
@ Hubbly Bubbly : I didnt say you were picking a fight, unfortunately the tone of someone's words in text format can't be readily shown but I will point out that those shows are popular with women for a reason and in many of the DVD interviews the producers and the actors have all agreed the reason those shows have been a major success, is due to the realism of how people behave on them or interact with each other. (My favorite Desperate Housewife has to be Bree, she always gets upset when another housewife makes a better pie or dish for their gatherings, as she considers herself to be the best cook...)

Sort of like for me, watching Entourage, a show about 4 close friends in Hollywood is extremely similar to my experiences with my close guy friends. We aren't Hollywood movie stars but we certainly identify with those characters and their behavior.

There are two other shows that became hugely popular due to how they mirrored many "real-life" interactions between people, Seinfeld (a comedy in the US) and Friends (another comedy in the US). Both were broadcast for many years. While Ill admit that it will never be identical to what you experience, you can identify with the characters on a general level.

Anyway, point is that my friends (female) made up this rule about how they will never allow another woman to simply state something without being "one-upped" and in conversations, although they aren't consciously aware of it, its exactly what they do. I didn't realize you would get so bothered by this... If you don't agree, its ok not to agree. Nothing wrong with it but you asked where I'd seen or heard and its a widely accepted fact that women are extremely competitive in the aforementioned sense.

@ Alcalaina : I couldnt agree more. Life is all about living it, not planning it.
Bet you didn't anticipate all these response to your original post :D

But really - a widely accepted "fact"? Accepted by who? Just because your female friends made up some rule? And maybe it isn't being competitive, maybe it's just a way of showing empathy with each other?

IMO, Tv shows like Desperate Housewives, perpetuate stereotypes like this
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,772 Posts
Anyway, point is that my friends (female) made up this rule about how they will never allow another woman to simply state something without being "one-upped" and in conversations, although they aren't consciously aware of it, its exactly what they do. I didn't realize you would get so bothered by this...
Dude, I am not bothered at all.

I am trying to ascertain why you would go in-depth on the generic behavioural patterns of women and on this particular thread, when what you are saying is actually the antithesis of what the thread is about?

From Alcalaina's original post:

"But the FDA requires that in order to test a drug you need to define the medical condition it is treating, so they have come up with "Female Sexual Dysfunction". They freely admit that this is a totally invented condition that did not exist before... An entirely normal state of affairs will become defined as a medical problem..."
So, based on the theory that life imitates TV sitcoms, all it would take is for an unscrupulous producer to get the writers to throw in a "FSD" scene around the kitchen table of highly competitive women and... presto! A whole new generation of men and women believing that there is "something" sexually wrong with most women, when there actually isn't. (Cue the drug ad during the commercial break and producers laughing all the way to the bank, arm-in-arm with the legal drug lords.)

Yet, I guess that you should have no problem being (mis-)labelled, after you stated this earlier in the thread:

I for one think this drug is great! The days of "honey I have a headache" are gone... for most men. Ive been fortunate enough with pretty much most of my ex-girlfriends that they had a similar sex-drive and both of us could enjoy...
Meaning that, I hope that none of your ex's get together and ever think, or worse still, believe that you have a 'little member' or that you can't 'get it up' at the right moment, if ever. But that is definitely not the case, is it?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,890 Posts
He is still a young buck.. give him a few more years and he will most likely have those problems :D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
630 Posts
lol like Jinx said, Im sure in a few years, much like many other men, Ill be considering certain pills or whatever...I dont have a problem with taking a medication that might enhance my partners happiness and yes, I do consider myself fortunate in having found partners with active sex drives, because I know its not always the case and nothing guarantees that it will continue to happen.

No need to get all huffy puffy over those statements. I think when stereotyping or generalizing, we can accept that not everyone behaves that way, but its a commonplace enough to create the stereotype in the first place. That's not to say people should be pre-judged based on those stereotypes. A commonly accepted "theory" is that women are indeed competitive but again, if you feel you dont want to accept that, dont. Its really that simple. Im speaking based on personal experiences and experiences of people close to me and things Ive read, seen on television, etc. It is completely possible that where you come from, women never have friendly competition with each other and that my statements and opinions seem absolutely ridiculous to you, and again, that is completely OK. No worries. In closing, I agree to disagree and you should as well as this can become a never ending debate. :)

EDIT: I am reminded of two shows called Simpsons and Family Guy, again, American TV... I know. Both base a lot of their humor on stereotypes, from the fat, donut-eating police officer to the town drunk and the absolutely clueless city mayor. These shows are quite popular throughout the world, dubbed into various languages and have been around for many years now. You'd have to ask yourself why the global masses find this humor so funny; considering it picks on stereotypes of all types, from rich to poor, male and female, young and old, etc. You're not British but I can think of one comedy they have, called The Office, which also has certain workplace stereotypes and they are truly hilarious. I could go on and on, but in the end, you simply wont accept what I am trying to convey so again, agree to disagree, shall we?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,890 Posts
Never ending debates :D what the forum is for!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,572 Posts
I am going to go back to the original question, sexual disfunction, maybe to a degree , it will exist ,but to both genders ,its like people tall, small,-thin,fat, etc we are all diffrent, when you meet someone, its not like a 20 questions thing ,you find out likes-dislikes in due course, so how do you know they have issues( or sexual issues )for instance you dont, Ive been married twice now, and had I serious partner ,the 1st hubby was ok ,he was older than me, but very mean money wise ,and NOT adventurus in the bedroom department, the serious partner was alergic to keeping a job, but handed in every penny he earned ,when he worked , he was younger than me, and an athletic in the bedroom, now then my hubby now is younger again, he is a house hubby, I work, and anything goes in our bedroom, so I have learned from my experiences lol xx
 
41 - 52 of 52 Posts
Top