[koppazee]

I would like to locate an English speaking French divorce attorney in the Bar le Duc area to discuss the never ending, ongoing divorce of my fiancee.

As am American, with a French fiancee, it seems as if she has no rights and every attempt to move this forward to a conclusion is fruitless. It seems that unless she gives the soon to be exhusband exactly what he wants (a waiver of ever paying future child support or child related expenses, paying his attorney and hers, he will never allow this to come to an end).

From what I am told by my fiancee, the judges here do absolutely nothing expect make decisions related to child support yet even if her ex pays 1 euro of what is required monthly, she can not go after him for the balance of what is due. They will not put an end to a person who just keeps the process going with the cooperation of his attorney just to get what he wants from the former spouse (thus preventing us moving forward with our plans).

I feel that this guy holds all the cards even though he physically abused my fiancee during the marriage, stole thousands of euros from the family money and abondoned the family twice during the two years prior to the marriage. The sad thing is that he is a social worker for the Ministry of Justice and his list of people who he "follows for Justice" are the same spouse abusing, nonpayment of child support that have been convicted for this and he does the same and the government has no way to report employees who commit the same crimes.

So we need to find another attorney so I can speak the same language with to see what the options are. Thanks for any input you can provide.

 

[Bevdeforges]

Try the list of English-speaking attorneys on the US consulate website. http://photos.state.gov/libraries/france/5/acs/paris-attorneys.pdf

One warning, though - divorce laws here in France are BRUTAL, with lots of little traps. The attorneys seem to exist solely to exchange paper statements and (from what I've seen from the sidelines) they don't actually "advocate" your side much at all. Definitely a matter of "all process, no function."

Weird stuff like whoever leaves the marital home automatically waives the right to any sort of alimony. (Child care is a separate issue.) The divorce of a friend of my husbands took 10 years to finally come through - and at that point, they still hadn't settled the property issues.

It could well be worth your making a visit to Paris to get some consultation with a dual qualified (and bi-lingual) attorney - who can explain things in terms you will be more easily able to understand. Most French attorneys just assume that law is everywhere the same or similar to what it is in France - and that most assuredly is NOT the case!
Cheers,
Bev

 

[koppazee]

French Divorce

Try the list of English-speaking attorneys on the US consulate website. http://photos.state.gov/libraries/france/5/acs/paris-attorneys.pdf

One warning, though - divorce laws here in France are BRUTAL, with lots of little traps. The attorneys seem to exist solely to exchange paper statements and (from what I've seen from the sidelines) they don't actually "advocate" your side much at all. Definitely a matter of "all process, no function."

Weird stuff like whoever leaves the marital home automatically waives the right to any sort of alimony. (Child care is a separate issue.) The divorce of a friend of my husbands took 10 years to finally come through - and at that point, they still hadn't settled the property issues.

It could well be worth your making a visit to Paris to get some consultation with a dual qualified (and bi-lingual) attorney - who can explain things in terms you will be more easily able to understand. Most French attorneys just assume that law is everywhere the same or similar to what it is in France - and that most assuredly is NOT the case!
Cheers,
Bev

Thank you for your reply. Based upon what I read and what I know, it seems that this process can never come to an end. Is there such a thing as a mediator who can put this to an end? Both sides can sit down, discuss all the issues and come to an end? My fiancee tells me this does not exist here. If the low life of an ex wants to extort money, and he demands total child custody, child support greater than what the judge awards, payment of his legal expenses and so on, he can demand it and the sun, moon and stars to finally agree to put this to an end. At what point can this end? Why would an attorney take on a case that they may not see payment in full for their services for something that goes on forever? This is a crazy system that just leaves the two parties in a limbo if they don't want to give in. Are there any other options for people? Thanks again for your fantastic help!

 

[Bevdeforges]

You may want to try to find one of those "Advocat chez vous" types of books - there are a number of them available in the book shops here in France. The one I have is called "Vos droits - votre argent" but it's basically a book about legal stuff for commoners. (It's getting rather old, it's perhaps time for a new edition...)

Normally, the courts here tend to go for joint custody, unless the kids are old enough to express their own opinions about which parent they prefer living with. And yes, one member of the couple can pretty much bring the whole process to a halt just by digging in their heels - or claiming that they "don't believe in" divorce.

On the other side (to be fair about all this), technically neither parent loses responsibility for their kids and the non-custody parent is supposed to be consulted in all decisions affecting the child. Even for a parent paying their child support payments right on time, however, there seems to be no way to enforce the law saying that they must be consulted on important matters.

My husband went through this with his ex - who blithely gave Daughter Dearest her permission to - among other things - go live with her older boyfriend at age 15 and finish her schooling by correspondence rather than going to classes. He tried to address this stuff through his lawyer, but that was a lost cause. The courts don't seem to want to get involved until the divorcing couple has come to their own agreement - and that can take forever!
Cheers,
Bev

 

[koppazee]

You may want to try to find one of those "Advocat chez vous" types of books - there are a number of them available in the book shops here in France. The one I have is called "Vos droits - votre argent" but it's basically a book about legal stuff for commoners. (It's getting rather old, it's perhaps time for a new edition...)

Normally, the courts here tend to go for joint custody, unless the kids are old enough to express their own opinions about which parent they prefer living with. And yes, one member of the couple can pretty much bring the whole process to a halt just by digging in their heels - or claiming that they "don't believe in" divorce.

On the other side (to be fair about all this), technically neither parent loses responsibility for their kids and the non-custody parent is supposed to be consulted in all decisions affecting the child. Even for a parent paying their child support payments right on time, however, there seems to be no way to enforce the law saying that they must be consulted on important matters.

My husband went through this with his ex - who blithely gave Daughter Dearest her permission to - among other things - go live with her older boyfriend at age 15 and finish her schooling by correspondence rather than going to classes. He tried to address this stuff through his lawyer, but that was a lost cause. The courts don't seem to want to get involved until the divorcing couple has come to their own agreement - and that can take forever!
Cheers,
Bev

WOW! Thank you!!