Expat Forum For People Moving Overseas And Living Abroad banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 20 of 43 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,455 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've only been on this forum for a few weeks, and for the most part I've enjoyed reading a variety of opinions and perspectives on Mexico. I enjoy vigorous debate, repartee, and banter. I like the humor, until it becomes snide & snarky, used to put others down instead of all laughing together. (I am a dairy farmer's daughter from Nebraska, I did husk plenty of corn as a kid, and can take all the Nebraska jokes you want to lob at me! Or Canadian jokes. Or jokes about Toronto given the recent antics of our illustrious mayor.)

When debate deteriorates into disdain, and derogatory, denigrating comments, the on-line community breaks down and we are all diminished. When I first joined this forum, there was a young poster from Ciudad Juárez who picked up quickly on a tension, and even anger that she sensed on the forum. She asked about it, but the responses were that this did not exist. As a newbie I did not want to respond, but I certainly agreed with her. I have not seen further posts by her, which I think is a loss to this forum. She had some interesting insights. I have read her personal blog and found it interesting. Her context is very different from mine, but I think that's where I can learn the most.

I also find it interesting to read the perspectives of people who are new to Mexico. They don't have the years of experience of some others, but they bring a perspective that I forgot I may once have had. So many things about Mexico and Latin America are simply normal to me that I forget what it was like when I first encountered it. It's like when a photographer takes a common object but uses a different angle, a different lens and I see that object from a completely different perspective. I like that.

Clearly if we're talking about something factual, those with more experience are right to set the record straight for those who are new, so we don't propagate misinformation. But when we're dealing with differing opinions and perspectives, can we please be respectful of each other? Disagreement is healthy, denigrating the other for having a different opinion is not.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,081 Posts
Amen to that. I think we all know the difference between a gentle dig or humor ....and downright snarky. There is one forum which started out moderation-free and was great fun and funny for awhile until it became a free-for-all between a few very ornery people with no limits. I left, as did others. There's enough smelly brown stuff we accidentally step in without spreading more.

Kudos to the OP for bringing it up. I like the civilized tone of this corner of the internet.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
33,612 Posts
You've got that right. I don't like to clamp down on some of our more opinionated posters too soon because they are often our most amusing posters. What to do, what to do ...?
Let them see the views of the OP, maybe they will try to calm down a bit??????

Jo xxx
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,237 Posts
There are a couple of posters that tend to be rather rude at times, I can not figure out why the moderators just don't ban them for some of their remarks.........
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
36,519 Posts
There are a couple of posters that tend to be rather rude at times, I can not figure out why the moderators just don't ban them for some of their remarks.........
do you report them?

with the best will in the world, moderators can't read everything & we rely on our members to let us know when rules are broken

if you use the
button on the post, every moderator gets notification & whoever is around can deal with it
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
416 Posts
I've only been on this forum for a few weeks, and for the most part I've enjoyed reading a variety of opinions and perspectives on Mexico. I enjoy vigorous debate, repartee, and banter. I like the humor, until it becomes snide & snarky, used to put others down instead of all laughing together. (I am a dairy farmer's daughter from Nebraska, I did husk plenty of corn as a kid, and can take all the Nebraska jokes you want to lob at me! Or Canadian jokes. Or jokes about Toronto given the recent antics of our illustrious mayor.)

When debate deteriorates into disdain, and derogatory, denigrating comments, the on-line community breaks down and we are all diminished. When I first joined this forum, there was a young poster from Ciudad Juárez who picked up quickly on a tension, and even anger that she sensed on the forum. She asked about it, but the responses were that this did not exist. As a newbie I did not want to respond, but I certainly agreed with her. I have not seen further posts by her, which I think is a loss to this forum. She had some interesting insights. I have read her personal blog and found it interesting. Her context is very different from mine, but I think that's where I can learn the most.

I also find it interesting to read the perspectives of people who are new to Mexico. They don't have the years of experience of some others, but they bring a perspective that I forgot I may once have had. So many things about Mexico and Latin America are simply normal to me that I forget what it was like when I first encountered it. It's like when a photographer takes a common object but uses a different angle, a different lens and I see that object from a completely different perspective. I like that.

Clearly if we're talking about something factual, those with more experience are right to set the record straight for those who are new, so we don't propagate misinformation. But when we're dealing with differing opinions and perspectives, can we please be respectful of each other? Disagreement is healthy, denigrating the other for having a different opinion is not.
I could not agree more.

Check this thread to see another new member who may well decide the negative energy here is just too much to bear.

Emily Bonderer Cruz, the writer you mentioned, is going to become an important voice here on the Borderland no what people around here think and has been written up by award winning journalist Debbie Nathan, more than once. We were lucky to have Emily here. Anybody seen her lately? Check out the posts and see why that might be true.

Check out this post as well, where a guy shows up to share his insights about things he has learned in his two years in Mexico and opens up the discussion for others to share their insights.
What a great opening! That could be great reading.

But, no, because one of the wise old owls responds with this: "Well,Tuzo, you have a lot to learn and you aren´t even on first base. You clearly know nothing about Mexico and that´s OK but please shut up until you have been here a while."

How nice --- to see it finally clearly stated in the plainest of terms --- how this guy really feels about new people and anyone he considers to be a know nothing. That seems to be the attitude of several of the wise old owls on this forum.

And I think any impartial person would see the same pattern repeating itself over and over. It would take about a day of thoroughly reading the posts of the past 10 days.

Frankly, as far as I am concerned, the people on this forum can be however they wish to be. I'll deal.

But just a gentle reminder that this forum is a business, and it's all about new members.

Not many people are going to hang around get the smug condescension routine very long.

Just food for thought...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
416 Posts
You've got that right. I don't like to clamp down on some of our more opinionated posters too soon because they are often our most amusing posters. What to do, what to do ...?
What to do is enforce the forum rules. If you insist on decorum, decorum you shall have after a while...

And a moderator that weighs in on squabbles his/herself is going to suffer a credibility loss from one side or the other of any issue. It's a total no win, every time.

Letting threads about Topic A descend into bitter slug fests about unrelated Topic B, such as controversial political issues in the US, is never going to work out well.

Nor is tolerating threats by one member to another, which I have seen now get swept under the rug on at least two occasions...

I say these things to you in the kindest spirit possible and with respect for your role having been around this track myself for years now.

Toxic atmosphere = people saying bye-bye pretty darn quick.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
33,612 Posts
Its not good is it. We all need to stamp on this. So, however new you are please, if you see a post that you dont like, then click on the report button
on the top right hand corner of each post - its anonymous to all the other posters, so they wont know you've done it, but it does give all of the moderators a chance to assess and see whats going on. Cos we cant all be here all of the time, reading all of the posts.

We all have a right to be here and sometimes, those who have been here a while do forget what it feels like to be new. Try to remember that "oldies" lol!!!!!

Jo xxx
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
19 Posts
I have not posted in this forum before due to the insults I have seen coming from some of the long time posters. I don't need grammar or spelling instructions, nor typing lessons either when asking about traveling in Mexico. Some of us old folks have a hard time typing on small virtual keyboards that are not set up for Spanish. What I find missing in this forum are the personal stories of those like me who have already made their moves and can tell us of their own experience without being chastised. There are some but not enough IMO. I have had limited experience myself, but due to what I have seen here so far, would NEVER describe it here and be subjected to the wrath of those whose experiences were different (mainly due to the income differences between the "oldies" and myself). My time in Mexico was wonderful given that I was not in the position to travel and shop and entertain myself to the extent that others here have and thus my experience with the common working class folks in Mexico was much different and frankly, more rewarding. And the Mexican people don't give a rat's u know what if you forgot the accent mark over your "I". Long as u try they are eager to help WITHOUT trying to make u feel like an idiot!

Buff said. And if you see spelling errors or grammar you don't like please do not take offense....I have big thumbs poor eyesight and too old to give a big d***!
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
9,004 Posts
I have not posted in this forum before due to the insults I have seen coming from some of the long time posters. I don't need grammar or spelling instructions, nor typing lessons either when asking about traveling in Mexico.
If you feel that a post contains insults, then please inform the moderators by clicking on the triangular "Report Post" icon located in the upper-right hand corner of each post.

Some of us, myself included, feel it is important to spell the names of Mexican cities correctly, if nothing else, as a sign of respect to the country which has so graciously received us. If this isn't important to you, then you can just ignore those posts.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,684 Posts
What I find missing in this forum are the personal stories of those like me who have already made their moves and can tell us of their own experience without being chastised. There are some but not enough IMO.
Good points. You might, however, want to set the example you think is lacking here ... by sharing some of your experiences in Mexico with the rest of us. :)

My experience here has been that we learn about others in this community not by one single posting of the history of their life in Mexico, or in a single discussion thread, but, rather, over time by following the various discussions in which someone will reveal their experiences which relate to the specific topic of the particular discussion. And, over time ... the personal canvas of someone's picture of their life and travels in Mexico becomes clear.

It's a fact that participants in online forums speak/write more assertively online than they would/do in face-to-face encounters. And many of us forget that ours isn't the only experience in Mexico, that there are hundreds of thousands, millions of others who have experiences to relate and who may have completely different reactions to things. Our response or answer to a questions isn't the only one out there. I think we can be better participants if we relate our personal experiences, or qualify our responses in such as a way that we say "my experience has been" or "I think" .. so as to distinguish the differences.

It's important, too, not to take all of this - and ourselves - too seriously. The rising and setting of the Sun isn't impacted by what we say here. It can be fun and infomative at the same time.

So, back to the beginning of my remarks: go ahead and set the example you find lacking here by sharing some things about you and your life in Mexico with the rest of us. :rockon:
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
9,004 Posts
You obviously did not read my entire post. It has nothing to do with "feeling it important to spell them correctly".
You did write, " I don't need grammar or spelling instructions, nor typing lessons either when asking about traveling in Mexico." That was the part of your post I was commenting on.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
19 Posts
You did write, " I don't need grammar or spelling instructions, nor typing lessons either when asking about traveling in Mexico." That was the part of your post I was commenting on.
As I said, obviously you did not read all of my post. Keep trying...... or not
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
9,004 Posts
As I said, obviously you did not read all of my post. Keep trying...... or not
I did read the rest of your post but only wanted to comment on the part about writing correctly in Spanish. It has something to do with my former life as a Spanish teacher and my current life as an English teacher. ;) Again, if these things don't interest you, feel free to ignore my posts on these topics.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
472 Posts
Mirror, mirror?

Jan, and other fellow forum folks, I think it's also important to distinguish between blatant insults and put downs, on the one hand; and differences of opinion on the other. After all, an Internet forum is supposed to be a "place" where we can exchange different points of view in a civilized :D manner.

You wrote (and I did read the whole post, several times):
My time in Mexico was wonderful given that I was not in the position to travel and shop and entertain myself to the extent that others here have and thus my experience with the common working class folks in Mexico was much different and frankly, more rewarding.
While I agree with your point of view in general terms, I respectfully submit that that statement is difficult to support in that you do not know us personally, and do not know of our experiences "with the common working class folks..." that I know of and see on a daily basis.

Don't you think your statement is condescending? It seems so to me. But I'm not in the least troubled or offended by it. I have been insulted, put down and chastised over the years by forum queens and kings over my most trivial errors. This is nothing to me in the grand context of life. Others here may feel differently.

I look forward to reading more of your contributions to this forum. :grouphug:
 
1 - 20 of 43 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top