An American paradox

Rube said:

lol, where did you hear this? Any long termers in Japan who have a kids know that's pretty far from the truth. Sure if you want to live a hermit life with no kids, no wife and don't want to speak Japanese than it's what you're looking for.

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I DO want a hermit life. But I intend to learn Japanese so I can navigate through Japanese society and know what to do and where to go to get what I want, NOT to make friends. Here are some quotes I've found on the Japanese keeping to themselves:

Japanese people keep to themselves, and sometimes this is very nice– especially if you’re the sort of person who also likes to keep to yourself and have your own space.

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That describes me VERY well.

It *is* very unlikely that a neighbor or stranger on the street would approach you for small talk, but I wouldn't go so far as to say that people "just ignore you and pretend you don't exist". To the Japanese, it's not that they're ignoring you, but that they're being polite and giving you your space.

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In Japan, giving people space is considered being POLITE. In America, someone is polite if they're constantly trying to force their way into your life. America has ZERO EMPATHY for me. They cannot put themselves in my shoes and understand that they're not doing me any favors by forcing me to make friends with people I don't like and inserting disgusting bimbos that are not worth dating into my life. Just because these people meet their standards for friendship and dating, it doesn't mean they meet MINE. And they CANNOT UNDERSTAND THAT. They have ZERO EMPATHY. I know that these people are not compatible with me, which is why I don't bother trying to make friends with them. They won't enjoy doing what I like, and I won't enjoy doing what they like. They, on the other hand, expect me to care about the things they care about. They are so delusional that they actually think they can date me even after they've already proven to me that they don't meet my standards. When you fail a job interview, you don't get a second one.

I would not count on the neigbor inviting you into his house unless you are prepared to ask him into yours first.


I dont even know my neighbors or pretend to. People just keep to themselves. Unless you have actually struck up a friendship with them it may be hard to invite yourself over. If you do, bring a big bag of mikan.

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Now that sounds like how I want to live.

I also have personal experience with Japanese people. I've taken a "cultural studies" type of course on Japan a few years ago, and at least half the class there were Japanese students. The entire semester I was there, NOT A SINGLE ONE of them attempted to socialize with me. They DO NOT CARE that I even exist. No one wanted to know what my name was, or where I was from, or what I like to do for fun. I LOVE THAT.

The reality is that citizens are expected to do a lot of stuff, all that PTA stuff.

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If that's "parent-teacher association", I have no intention of getting married and having children, so I will NOT be taking part in that.

I'm greeted a few times every morning on the way to my car by the mansion staff who are always too happy to share with me the mansion news.

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And for some reason you think I can afford a mansion. If I had the money to buy a mansion, I would've left America long ago. I don't want a mansion, even if I could afford it. Why the hell would a guy like me need that much house?

The simple fact of the matter is that the nicer the place you live the more you stand out as well. We're all uppity that way. Just in order to rent a place in Japan you need a Japanese person or company to co-sign for you, unless of course you want to live in a dump.

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In a massive city like Tokyo, I think I'd do just fine disappearing into the crowd.

My advice, stay where you are, life is easy for you. Just learn to deal with people and grow a thicker skin. Work on your "death stare".

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OR... I could go to Japan and prevent unnecessary socializing from ever occurring to begin with. Life is simple when you make the best possible choices that are conducive towards your life goals. It's only complicated when you delude yourself into thinking you can achieve your dream in circumstances which block every move you make towards your goal. I KNOW that as long as I am in America, I have no future. Every move I make towards my dream life will be blocked by forced socializing. The best thing to do is go to Japan and start over. In Japan, there is NO requirement to make small talk with my neighbors or co-workers. Here's an AMERICAN'S take on forced socializing in America:

In American culture especially, we’re taught that we’re supposed to be friendly and outgoing. If you’re not smiling all the time, there’s something wrong with you. If you’re not talking, there’s something wrong with you. If you don’t always look like you’re having a great time, there’s something wrong with you. Or worse, people might actually take offense at your behavior and think you’re being rude.

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I sure as hell don't want to live like that. By going to Japan, I won't have to "be American." It is the best possible choice for me. A bad choice would be staying in America, where my dream life is IMPOSSIBLE to achieve. Life is only complicated when you make choices that will not lead to your goal. For instance, there's a bimbo that's been trying to marry me for 6 years. She wants to start a family. Logically, she should pursue someone else. I hate marriage, I hate children, and there is no way in hell would I EVER choose that life. She will throw away her youth pursuing me because she is so delusional that she thinks she can re-program me into being something I don't want to be. It's simpler if she just chooses someone who already wants to get married and have children. That way, they can start their family already. She would already have a family already if she would just pursue someone who shares her dream. I would never waste my life trying to remake someone into being my dream girl. It's just ****ing stupid. If you're not what I want, you clearly will never be so why should I bother?

larabell said:

In general, people here won't expect you to invite them to your home or discuss private affairs. But they are likely to expect you to be civil in public, which is something you might want to practice a bit before arriving.

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Being civil is this: you leave me the **** alone, and I'll leave you the **** alone. If you bother me, then I'll bother you. Simple. Forcing unnecessary relationships into my life with unnecessary people BOTHERS ME. Small talk is completely unnecessary, and I will not take part in that.

I wouldn't expect that to be any different no matter where you live. You expect people to respect your view of the world while you have no respect for theirs? I don't think this has as much to do with where you live as it has to do with who you are trying to be.

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I have no respect for their way of life because they force it onto me. They actually think that if they bombard me with their lifestyle that I'll become them. That's ****ing stupid. I don't push my lifestyle onto anybody. The fact that they keep pushing their lifestyle onto me is what makes them beneath me and not worth making friends with.

Somehow I find it hard to believe anyone could be that delusional... but I'll take your word for it.

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I know they're delusional. They're social and outgoing and they actually think I'll like them. That's delusional. I don't make friends with or date anyone who is social and outgoing. That's not some conditional statement, it's an absolute law. Everyone knows that I see the world in black and white. They should understand by now that even if they save my life, I will not make friends with them if they're social and outgoing.

Sorry... but by actually being an American, you're going to stick out like a sort thumb here and attract every bimbo who happens to have a couple English lessons under their belt. You can forget about blending into the crowd. If that's what you want, move to Kansas... not Tokyo.

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Then I'll just live in a small house out in the middle of nowhere. But it sure as hell isn't going to be in Kansas, let alone America.

Really? The bestest possible choice? Then go for it and stop you're crying. End of the day you're not going anywhere, but dreaming is free and fun.

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And if and when I acquire the money I need to make this move I'll abandon America forever. I'll look forward to living in a country where Christianity is a minority religion and I don't have to put up with strangers saying hi to me for no reason.

Rube said:

OK that is just silly.

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Success in America means taking part in worthless activities that serve no purpose, so I'm dead serious.

List of places you've never been? All fine places with lots to offer people who have open minds.

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If it involves unnecessary relationships with unnecessary people, I'll pass.

Well you better get your butt out of America because that's a real risk there, tons of celebrities lining up to marry kids like you, along with the candy ravers waiting to kidnap you.

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When everyone around you is trying to convince you to marry celebrities and bombard you with propaganda designed to brainwash you into desiring a celebrity life, that is social bull****.

The chances of that happening are just a little better than a celebrity trying to tie the knot with you.

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It's also better than wasting time trying to build a career in America where worthless activities like smiling and small talk are prerequisites for success.

Or.....just remain at your mom's place and accomplish the same. Sorry dude couldn't resist.

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OR... I could abandon America at my earliest convenience and not have to live among the very people I despise.

Rube said:

And where do you live right now? America is your home silly.

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America is just a temporary place I'm living in. That doesn't make it my home. Does living in a hotel temporarily make it your home? Hell no. Home is a place where there is no requirement to have unnecessary relationships with unnecessary people. It's a place where my way of life can thrive.

See I read that as you have no girlfriend or buddies.

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Because there's literally no one worth making friends with or dating in this country. Americans are completely generic and dime-a-dozen. There's a reason why they're all the same no matter where I go.

Seriously kid, grow up and stop your crying. Nobody here (or probably anywhere) cares about your childish opinions on the world and your lack of understanding. You obviously think you're very impressive but you aren't kid. The only thing that is impressive about you is your ability to make yourself sound like a loser.

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I'm impressive enough that every single American I meet has an unhealthy obsession with making me into one of them and absorbing me into their lives. America's problem is that it's so worthless that I have no reason to accept their worthless relationships with the worthless people everyone keeps trying to set me up with. If Americans want me to accept them, the last thing they should be doing is exhibiting the very traits which I despise. It's like going to a job interview and purposely failing it. It's ****ing stupid. The only thing impressive about Americans is their ability to be generic, dime-a-dozen, and not special.

Rube said:

You really like the word worthless don't ya

I can't imagine any cool people giving you the time of day to be honest so I accept that people who are going out of their way to be friends with you are a bit odd. But one of the first things I said is that I think it's all on you guy.

One of the things you realize when you get older is that there are cool people the world over in every country, but likes attract.

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And their problem is that they can't tell that I'm NOT their kind. I'm obviously not a party guy, but everyone just automatically assumes I am one, even when all evidence points in the opposite direction. I sure as hell don't spend my free time staging chance encounters. Typical of people who are so delusional that they believe in things without proof, because believing in whatever they want and ignoring the facts is the only way they can get through their pointless lives and feel good about themselves.

Even people holding doctorate degrees are leading lives that are so worthless that they have nothing better to do. They stage chance encounters with me instead of working because their research is worthless and they know they'll never invent or discover anything that's worth a ****, and in their eyes trying to impose themselves into my life is a priority over their work. They try to ambush me outside their work hours as well because their families and personal lives are so worthless that they would rather bond with someone they barely know than spend time with their supposed loved ones or whatever else they have going on in their personal lives, which is obviously nothing. The only doctorate degree holder that I've met in the past 2 years that did not try to ambush me with stupid social bull**** was an MD/PhD that was so obviously not American.

And it's true that likes attract. People belong with their own kind. The problem is when I'm surrounded by morons who can't tell that I'm obviously not their kind and don't want to live their lifestyle. I'm relatively well known by now. I sure as hell have no expectation of anonymity. People should know better by now than trying to get me to go drinking, clubbing, and partying. Bimbos who want to get married should also know better than to even approach me. But they're ****ing stupid. It's unbelievable. I sure as hell don't approach women who I know don't share my life goals.

How do you know that this attitude and people arent the same in other countries??? It does sound to me as though you're trying to escape humanity rather than one particular nation??? So go easy on your derisions - from what I've seen, humans are the same the world over.

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And that's why I typed in a previous post that I'd rather see more of the world than more of America. Japan would make a great first step. It's practically the opposite of America, so it'll be a nice change of pace. If I had the resources to do so, I'd take a year off to just travel around the world.