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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
but not too serious I hope.....

Those of us who are more - let's say mature - and have lived in France for some time are likely to die here.

I wondered if you would want to be buried/incinterated here in France or shipped back to wherever home is/used to be, and whether your epitaph or memorial plaque or whatever would be in French or English. Or both?

And serious or amusing? (I rather like the popular "I TOLD you I was ill!).
 

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I've always been fascinated by the laws on scattering the "cremains" (i.e. the ashes) here - apparently you can scatter someone's ashes on private property as long as they won't travel into nearby public property. (Maybe that's just how the regulation is worded...) But honestly, for me I'd prefer being cremated and scattered. Of course when I mention to DH that that appears to be the way to go, he gets all nervous....
Cheers,
Bev
 

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I've always been fascinated by the laws on scattering the "cremains" (i.e. the ashes) here - apparently you can scatter someone's ashes on private property as long as they won't travel into nearby public property. (Maybe that's just how the regulation is worded...) But honestly, for me I'd prefer being cremated and scattered. Of course when I mention to DH that that appears to be the way to go, he gets all nervous....
Cheers,
Bev
You have to understand the meaning of public property. This link sets out the requirements relating to cremation, including keeping/dispersal/etc of ashes Crémation - Service-public.fr.
 

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Interesting subject for those of us of a certain age. Of course, it's a stupid question if you are under 30.

My wife and I differ on the subject - for me I want cremation because it's the cheapest solution and there's no grave to get overgrown by weeds. I've no wish to be scattered anywhere, unless my survivors wish it and it makes them feel better. I wish to be remembered by the things that I've done, the child that I've fathered, AND the multiple and severe hangovers from the superb party to celebrate my death.

For those of you interested, here in the mountains there are many old dry stone walls, propping up old olive terraces that are now returned to the wild. They were build 150 - 200 years ago. I think when I pass them - the men that built them have long rotted in their graves, but their walls live on as a memorial. What will I leave behind? Regretfully, not a long duration stone wall!

Just to add to the "I told you I was ill" comment I like Spike Milligan's joke "I'm not afraid of dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens".

I like to amuse myself with an Excel spreadsheet for my financial planning. It can show investment growth, inflation, taxation etc. It goes on into the future.....in which year do the columns go blank?

Ho hum.

Happily alive.................DejW
 

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I'm sure you are correct EH. Here in the Pyrénées mountains I have known several people who have asked for their ashes to be scattered in special spot in the mountains. The local Maire said "don't ask, because if you do I will have to say no"

DejW

You have to understand the meaning of public property. This link sets out the requirements relating to cremation, including keeping/dispersal/etc of ashes Crémation - Service-public.fr.
 

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but not too serious I hope.....

Those of us who are more - let's say mature - and have lived in France for some time are likely to die here.

I wondered if you would want to be buried/incinterated here in France or shipped back to wherever home is/used to be, and whether your epitaph or memorial plaque or whatever would be in French or English. Or both?

And serious or amusing? (I rather like the popular "I TOLD you I was ill!).
I have already told my family here I want to be cremated. This would be done here, France is my home. I have told them to do whatever they want with the ashes, but suggested it just be whatever is simplest (eg. just leave them to be scattered in the memorial garden). However, if France were to adopt environmentally friendly burials whilst I am still compos mentis, I'll opt for that.

I don't want or anticipate an epitaph, but if there were some kind of memorial plaque, I would expect it to be in French with just the dates of birth and death and the names of my parents and possibly my paternal grandparents, but if my estate doesn't have enough funds when the time comes, just my name and the dates.

I'll be dead - I won't know or care about what happens to my corpse. :D

Be aware that voted this year to automatically provide for harvesting of organs unless the deceased is on the Registre des refus.
 

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Just to be serious for a moment, in the best traditions of this bistro forum......

I wouldn't want to seen dead in a coffin, but this subject really digs down deep. Not that I'm really interred-ested. Anyway, I'll be buried in the dead centre of France. Perhaps it's all a plot?

With due respect to Fletch, where are you, dear boy?, we need your acerbic wit now - like never before.

DejW
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 · (Edited)
I don't know if it's the same in other countries, but in France you can buy your grave for ever (concession perpetuelle) - the most expensive option - otherwise for from 5 to 50 years, the cost being proportional to the length of time.

Then I suppose they dig you up but I don't know what happens to you afterwards.... does anyone know?

http://vosdroits.service-public.fr/particuliers/F31001.xhtml
 

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the grave's a fine and private place
but none I think do there embrace

from memory - To his coy mistress by Andrew Marvell.

I guess that when you have disintegrated it barely matters what happens to you. I live right next to where they disinterred the bones of King RIchard the Third recently in Leicester, and they totally decimated the grave yard disregarding 'sacred ground' in order to upgrade the area around Leicester cathedral where they built a thriving visitors centre ;(

Do you want to be buried in France or England? That is my question. Where does your allegiance lie? King Richard the Third was a Yorkist, but he is now formally interred in Leicester, where he died. I would like to be buried next to my father - but I doubt that would be possible. Either that or a pauper's environmental grave in the middle of a forest - maybe French!!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Be aware that voted this year to automatically provide for harvesting of organs unless the deceased is on the Registre des refus.
Yes this should be the case from 2017, but it's very controversial and I will be very surprised if it actually happens.

Seems to me that it would be preferable to inform and prepare families for this choice rather than imposing it.

However if I was waiting for an organ for myself or a member of my family no doubt I would feel differently.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I don't know if it's the same in other countries, but in France you can buy your grave for ever (concession perpetuelle) - the most expensive option - otherwise for from 5 to 50 years, the cost being proportional to the length of time.

Then I suppose they dig you up but I don't know what happens to you afterwards.... does anyone know?

Qu'est-ce qu'une concession funéraire ? - Service-public.fr
PS Can't help wondering if they give you three months notice.....
 

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I don't know if it's the same in other countries, but in France you can buy your grave for ever (concession perpetuelle) - the most expensive option - otherwise for from 5 to 50 years, the cost being proportional to the length of time.

Then I suppose they dig you up but I don't know what happens to you afterwards.... does anyone know?

Qu'est-ce qu'une concession funéraire ? - Service-public.fr
It's all theoretical. If there is an emergency that means they suddenly need the land, they will dig up the bodies and put them in a mass grave (that would require at the very least an order by the Prefect, who isn't likely to give it unless he has consulted with the Minister or the government has declared the emergency). I suspect that is what also happens when the paid for time is up if the plot is required. If they ever cremate or otherwise dispose of the remains, they are unlikely to tell you they have done so.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
In that case why do they "let" the plots for 5, 10, 15, 20, 30 or 50 years? Better to go for 5 years then and cross your fingers that they won't throw you out.

Even when you're dead you can become an SDF!
 

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In that case why do they "let" the plots for 5, 10, 15, 20, 30 or 50 years? Better to go for 5 years then and cross your fingers that they won't throw you out.

Even when you're dead you can become an SDF!
But it has to be an emergency and no doubt they would move the graves if it were feasible. There are lots of cemeteries with very old graves. My point was that you don't know what might happen in the future. What about earthquakes, landslides, new dams, war, etc?

What do they do in other countries?

BTW I recall that on a project I worked on bodies were found buried outside the current cemetery buried to allow a tramline to be built - they were eventually relocated other once to allow a transport project to go through (there was no other option_ - the work was delayed whilst an anthropologist investigated and the bodies were eventually moved (not gotten rid of).
 

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But it has to be an emergency and no doubt they would move the graves if it were feasible. There are lots of cemeteries with very old graves. My point was that you don't know what might happen in the future. What about earthquakes, landslides, new dams, war, etc? What do they do in other countries? BTW I recall that on a project I worked on bodies were found buried outside the current cemetery buried to allow a tramline to be built - they were eventually relocated other once to allow a transport project to go through (there was no other option_ - the work was delayed whilst an anthropologist investigated and the bodies were eventually moved (not gotten rid of).
Woke up this morning and pondered upon the passing river from my bed and the wildlife in view. This usually prompts me to think,"well life is not so bad compared with a lot of others on this planet". As we age we think more and more of our own mortality and of those that are close to us, its all part of the ageing process. Some knowledgeable person well versed in such matters wrote that up to the age of 21 we think of death very rarely. After that are it creeps up to about three times a month or so and by the time you reach your fifties some thoughts of departing this mortal existence is in your brain on an almost daily basis.

I think that it is incumbent upon all of those of a certain age that are staring at mortality to ensure that their affairs are left in order for those left behind. Its not difficult, it just involves a bit of honesty within oneself. Most of us of a certain age have had to deal with the death of a loved one and we should all have learnt a lesson or two from those passings. To die intestate causes a huge amount of problems for those left behind and in those cases the only person to benefit at the end of the day is the appointed Solicitor, usually some year or so later. My wife passed away recently and no Solicitor was involved as I had previously arranged that which was required. It made everything easier for those involved and those left behind.

My wife was cremated in France with a beautiful service and her remains were taken back to England in the front seat of my car and placed at our local cemetery where she rejoined her parents in their grave. That was her wish. The transportation of remains is a bit of a grey area in life and law. I thought well, if I get rumbled by the Gendarmes of Duane , then she would end up in a field or lay by between here and Caen. She had a good sense of humour and would have seen the funny side of it all.

For those of you that would ask for your cadaver to be transported back to Blighty by road or air, then think on. As well as your body I should leave a big fat cheque to pay for it. Once you are loaded into the transport, then the funeral operative will charge your estate for every time you pass thro a Coroners area and that is a lot between France and every different one in England.

Being of a pragmatic nature. My arrangements have been made and will with instructions for everything is here ready for me to go off to The Great Carp Lake in the sky.
Some years ago before leaving for France I invested a large sum of money with the Coop Ins. Society( not the bank), the same Coop that was the biggest provider of funeral services in


the UK. Before signing on the dotted line for the investment, I managed to wheedle out of them a free funeral service in the UK. So that was that bit sorted.

My music selection has been done. Gone Fishing, Messing about on the River and Only here for a good time. A sum of money has been allocated for friends in France to have a good time and the same in the UK. Cremation for me and ashes into the river either here or The Thames where I used to fish. Job done.

Regarding burial plots. Probably remain undisturbed for a long, long time in France due to the large amount of space. In the UK, I have my doubts due to increasing birth/death rates, immigration and the constant need to build new supermarkets, council car parks and unwanted High Speed train links, built to bolster the flagging fortunes of various politicians.

If I was to have gone first my wife wanted to have engraved on my headstone, "Under this Sod lies another one". Could never work out why she wanted that particular wording.

So feeling absolutely certain that the denizens of Expat have all led good, blameless and pure lives, and for those amongst of us that have not been so saintly, I leave you with the following verse by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, entitled " Retribution".

"Though the mills of God grind slowly, yet they grind extremely small.
Though with patience he stands waiting, with exactness grinds us all".

Have a nice day everyone. Fletch.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Once upon a time you could't beat the Coop for a good send off - they did a smashing ham tea and cakes.

I have found a French epitaph for a fisherman, which roughly translates as "here lies a fisherman who must be overjoyed - since he has been here he can produce his own maggots"....

Ci-gît un pecheur à la ligne
qui doit trouver plaisir extrême
car depuis qu'il repose ici
il fait ses asticots lui-même
 

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Once upon a time you could't beat the Coop for a good send off - they did a smashing ham tea and cakes. I have found a French epitaph for a fisherman, which roughly translates as "here lies a fisherman who must be overjoyed - since he has been here he can produce his own maggots".... Ci-gît un pecheur à la ligne qui doit trouver plaisir extrême car depuis qu'il repose ici il fait ses asticots lui-même
And as the old fishing saying goes. " Old fishermen never die, they only smell that way".

Fermenting Fletch.
 

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And as the old fishing saying goes. " Old fishermen never die, they only smell that way". Fermenting Fletch.
Whilst on the subject of considering ones mortality. This is not an advert, just something that may be of use to other members of Expat who are considering their future in matters of " departure".

At the present time AXA are promoting a policy of insurance for matters such as discussed in this thread. For about 34 euros a month you get many benefits such as a sum of money to your estate for a funeral. The costs incurred for two people too attend wherever you may " snuff it" for funereal purposes and repatriation of corpse/cadaver to own country of choice. There were some other benefits as well. I thought it was worth looking at for the money involved, the policy covers World Wide repatriation.

I do understand that this scheme would not be open to Balder's, as I am led to believe that he is already in a state of mummification as arranged by Mrs. Balders in preparation for the day.

Fletch.
 

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but not too serious I hope.....

Those of us who are more - let's say mature - and have lived in France for some time are likely to die here.

I wondered if you would want to be buried/incinterated here in France or shipped back to wherever home is/used to be, and whether your epitaph or memorial plaque or whatever would be in French or English. Or both?

And serious or amusing? (I rather like the popular "I TOLD you I was ill!).
My cat died on the plane to Paris in February this year. He was cremated, and recently I emptied his ashes at Rodins Musée in the gardens in view of The Thinker. Totally illegal I'm sure and it made for a sad (and amusing blog post because of how I had to do the act!) but that's what I'd prefer done with my carcass when I die too. I hate the idea of being buried whole in a hole rotting away. I'm not my body. I don't want to be taken back to Australia. My family all live in different states anyway.
 

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My cat died on the plane to Paris in February this year. He was cremated, and recently I emptied his ashes at Rodins Musée in the gardens in view of The Thinker. Totally illegal I'm sure and it made for a sad (and amusing blog post because of how I had to do the act!) but that's what I'd prefer done with my carcass when I die too. I hate the idea of being buried whole in a hole rotting away. I'm not my body. I don't want to be taken back to Australia. My family all live in different states anyway.
Sandra, I'm so sorry to hear about the death of your cat. That must have been so hard for you. I know your cat wasn't young, but it's so hard to lose a beloved animal and companion.

Totally agree that we are not our body.
 
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