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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
For muslim ladies, or anyone who can relate on the same situation. If you are a second wife how are you able to manage it? I'm having a hard time though I thought I can do it. If any advise please.
 
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So you are saying that you are the second wife?

Btw I just read somewhere that if a guy is married to 2 or more women, he can sponsor only one of them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
So you are saying that you are the second wife?

Btw I just read somewhere that if a guy is married to 2 or more women, he can sponsor only one of them.
Yes.

That is true. I'm the one sponsored coz we both here. Other is in the home country. I would like to know how to manage especially when it comes to feelings and all. I dont think I can ignore in my whole life.
 

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Ouch. Sorry to hear. I can imagine is not an easy situation. I don't know for how long you've been married for but perhaps you just need more time to get used to it? Sorry I don't have a lot of advice for you, hopefully someone with actual first hand experience on this will be able to help you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Ouch. Sorry to hear. I can imagine is not an easy situation. I don't know for how long you've been married for but perhaps you just need more time to get used to it? Sorry I don't have a lot of advice for you, hopefully someone with actual first hand experience on this will be able to help you.

We're married less than a year now. The fact on the way he got married to that lady is what hurting me until now. He married her for his parents. So we have decided to marry after. So instead of me being first, I became second. I hope I will get used to it. Thanks.
 

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I am confused...

You guys are married less than a year and living in Dubai, then he got married again back in Pakistan ?

Or he was already married and you guys got married afterward, then he sponsored you to move to Dubai with him ?
 

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As far as I know, in order to get married with the second, the man must have 'approval' from the first so basically, the wives must know each other.
that usually takes the form of "no 1, here is no 2. make some space in the wardrobe and show her where the towels are..."
 

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Hi

Why does it bother you....it different does it make if you are the first or the second - if he had to marry the other one to please his parents - so be it - some families are like this.

The fact is - he married you...he could have not...or his parents could have told him not to...either way - he did...

she's back in pakistan....he lives here with you...i'm assuming he spends more time with you than he does with her.

How do you manage feelings?? Well that depends on how he manages his feelings - is he in a physical relationship with the wife in pakistan....does he plan on having children with her?

DO you know if they are affectionate etc...whatever the story is - as long as he is loving and caring to you and devotes his entire time to you and your family - or potential family - that should be important.

The best way to look at it - in my opinion - is to think when he is in pakistan - imagine he is away on business for work...

maybe that will make things easier for you.....

saying all that - i would think this depends hugely on what his relationship is like - with the other wife....

are they in love - are they close friends - does he care for her - and of course the intimate issue.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
I am confused...

You guys are married less than a year and living in Dubai, then he got married again back in Pakistan ?

Or he was already married and you guys got married afterward, then he sponsored you to move to Dubai with him ?
We are in a relationship before he went for marriage. He has to go back to obey his parents. But we dont want to end ours. So after he came back here, we decided to be married.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Hi

Why does it bother you....it different does it make if you are the first or the second - if he had to marry the other one to please his parents - so be it - some families are like this.

The fact is - he married you...he could have not...or his parents could have told him not to...either way - he did...

she's back in pakistan....he lives here with you...i'm assuming he spends more time with you than he does with her.

How do you manage feelings?? Well that depends on how he manages his feelings - is he in a physical relationship with the wife in pakistan....does he plan on having children with her?

DO you know if they are affectionate etc...whatever the story is - as long as he is loving and caring to you and devotes his entire time to you and your family - or potential family - that should be important.

The best way to look at it - in my opinion - is to think when he is in pakistan - imagine he is away on business for work...

maybe that will make things easier for you.....

saying all that - i would think this depends hugely on what his relationship is like - with the other wife....

are they in love - are they close friends - does he care for her - and of course the intimate issue.
I'm touched to your words. Highly appreciated.

This is the part I'm getting curious if "they are in love, close friends or if he really cares for her now and the intimate issues"...he was arranged for this and never bothered abt everything during the preparation of that marriage. I know he doesnt like the lady but i'm feeling different nowadays. So I'm starting to think if he really cares and love her now. Intimate issues grrrrr it kills me.
 
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