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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 7th February 2015, 10:26 AM
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Originally Posted by esv1226 View Post
I would not spend my money on a PI. I would minimize financial and emotional losses. I would simply cool off or (drop it like a hot potato).
I agree. If you have the urge to hire a PI now, you will always have that doubt and constantly be hiring one.

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Old 8th February 2015, 01:34 AM
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I agree. If you have the urge to hire a PI now, you will always have that doubt and constantly be hiring one.
you are right, if you need a PI, then better don't spend your whole life watching your six O clock !!!
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Old 8th February 2015, 01:52 AM
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I have to jump on the "don't hire a PI" bandwagon.

If that's your nature, you'd be much better served addressing your comfort or trust issues I don't mean to sound like a turd but if feeling or thinking that way is your nature, getting hitched ain't going to fix that, ever.

Only you can do that with some serious self reflection.

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Old 8th February 2015, 03:38 AM
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I have to jump on the "don't hire a PI" bandwagon.

If that's your nature, you'd be much better served addressing your comfort or trust issues I don't mean to sound like a turd but if feeling or thinking that way is your nature, getting hitched ain't going to fix that, ever.

Only you can do that with some serious self reflection.
Well if he needs to know he does. These women are very good. Better safe than sorry. A sucker is born everyday

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Old 8th February 2015, 04:09 AM
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Howdy folks:

I'm one of the idiots you've heard about that fell in love with a girl there but am having questions about whether I'm being taken for a ride.

To make a long story short, I need to find a PI that will verify a few things for me, but for some reason I just don't trust the ones I see on CraigsList and I'm also not made of money and don't want to hire someone from a huge agency that will clean my wallet out for the next year.

If any of you know someone who would do an honest job, I'd sure be grateful for a recommendation. I basically need someone to check records and give me the straight scoop on who she is.

Thanks for reading this, hope you are having a good day.
I'd show up a little early unannounced, hang out and watch it yourself and if it looks like a duck quacks like a duck, have an exit strategy prepared and another spot to hang out in if things go sour but if things check out "Pay up" get the party started it's a surprise party right...LOL. Stop worrying nobody's perfect.
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Old 10th February 2015, 09:31 AM
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Youve heard the saying...walks like a duck etc. ...visit for two weeks and observe the surroundings. You'll know whats staged and real if you pay close attention!
A stranger in a strange land, do you really think so. If there is any scam you are dealing with pro's.
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Old 10th February 2015, 01:40 PM
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I am NOT an expat (yet) and my Pinay GF and I met here in the USA. SO my situation is different but she has been very open about Pinays and what they will do to get what they want. My two cents respectfully, trust your gut.
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Old 10th February 2015, 02:11 PM
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I am NOT an expat (yet) and my Pinay GF and I met here in the USA. SO my situation is different but she has been very open about Pinays and what they will do to get what they want. My two cents respectfully, trust your gut.
I know a lot of pinoys/pinays, who will bad mouth their countrymen, but when things go south, they will throw "YOU" under the bus,

if the person wants to pull a scam, even the most committed PI can find nothing wrong, and then when you are in 6 feet deep, you will realise the mess you got yourself into

and a little note. Most of the scams are NOT planned scams, it so happens a urgency comes along, and then some of them start to fabricate stories, like loosing a phone and when you replace, the replacement gets sold, instead of asking you for money (fear of looking bad asking for money .. )

and then the local custom of celebrating some stuff, like grandma's 80th grand birthday, (yep, I know a friend who forked out 100K for his GFs grandma's birthday bash, complete with a live bad, roasted pigs, and a special dress for the old lady .. ) or High school graduation, or such, even when broke, will drive a few to borrow, with fake stories, not that they are cheating or born liers, it is just that a fair minority are just like that.

in my case, I have seen a fair minority, have pulled sob stories, like a travel agent of mine in Manila, who asked me to 'assist' for her only son's College graduation jacket, when I was going to tell her to rent it than buy it, which I know will fall on deaf ears, and knowing the 'custom' a new jacket is a must, even when broke .. etc. etc ..

then again a fair majority of filipinos I know, professionals and employed, are NOT like that.

so, my 2 cents ? if the girl/family are into happily asking money, not just from you, but their own siblings/relatives, then good luck

if they are not so, and none of them are unemployed, you are safe, that's what my gut feeling will say
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Old 22nd February 2015, 09:16 PM
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you're getting some good advice here. McCalley's idea to just show up is not a bad one, as long as you have a guidebook with you so you can head off someplace if your worst fears are realized. my own experience is that there is a lot of poverty in the Philippines and therefore a lot of need for money on an emergency basis. people die every day for lack of twenty dollars worth of meds. there is also something going on called 'face'. a Pinoy or Pinay will often times say yes rather than say no, or even, i don't know. there is also a language issue, and some cultural things just don't translate well. A Pinay is not and never will be an American with a different accent--and I mean that as a compliment--the culture is different in so many ways.
if your gut is saying scam, listen to it. but if you love her, consider showing up and seeing for yourself. if you find a good Pinay (and there's far far more good than bad by a long shot) she's worth the trip and the trouble, and the expenses and the family help that go along with it. you must be prepared to open your mind to different perspectives, and be patient. if you think you found a nice girl, then give her a chance--and give yourself a chance to realize it was all a misunderstanding.
if you do hire a PI, you might consider not telling the PI what the investigation is actually all about. say please investigate the older brother (give name) and also give me a briefing on the extended family please--and the girl will show up in the report without the PI realizing its all about the girl, and thus giving the girl a chance to "bribe" the guy.
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Old 22nd February 2015, 09:41 PM
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you're getting some good advice here. McCalley's idea to just show up is not a bad one, as long as you have a guidebook with you so you can head off someplace if your worst fears are realized. my own experience is that there is a lot of poverty in the Philippines and therefore a lot of need for money on an emergency basis. people die every day for lack of twenty dollars worth of meds. there is also something going on called 'face'. a Pinoy or Pinay will often times say yes rather than say no, or even, i don't know. there is also a language issue, and some cultural things just don't translate well. A Pinay is not and never will be an American with a different accent--and I mean that as a compliment--the culture is different in so many ways.
if your gut is saying scam, listen to it. but if you love her, consider showing up and seeing for yourself. if you find a good Pinay (and there's far far more good than bad by a long shot) she's worth the trip and the trouble, and the expenses and the family help that go along with it. you must be prepared to open your mind to different perspectives, and be patient. if you think you found a nice girl, then give her a chance--and give yourself a chance to realize it was all a misunderstanding.
if you do hire a PI, you might consider not telling the PI what the investigation is actually all about. say please investigate the older brother (give name) and also give me a briefing on the extended family please--and the girl will show up in the report without the PI realizing its all about the girl, and thus giving the girl a chance to "bribe" the guy.
If you need to deal with extended family then better to move on. They will be the worms in your relationship. I would Never go thru that again. EVER!!!! There ARE Filipinos who DO support themselves. Don't fall for filipino code....its only true if u allow it. Your house your rules. And quite the contrary...there are far more bad ones than good...or shall I say wrong match.

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