Hi folks,
It's been quite a long time since I popped on here last but need some advice from some of the more experience Expats in the Philippines.
The Background
I first met my Filipina GF (briefly) way back Dec 2011 during a visit to the Phils as part of a round the world trip. She was friends of friends - we got introduced and exchanged emails and then we stayed in contact as I continued my travels and when I got back to the UK - gradually getting closer and closer.
Anyway, during my travels I got offered a job in Malaysia, which I started in Oct 2012. I took this opportunity to visit my GF (and her family) on a monthly basis before I was able to get a 'dependent' visa for my GF in Malaysia (after getting a Common Law Wife certificate from the British High Comm here) and she has been living with me in Malaysia since March 2013.
Seven very happy months later I popped the question and my GF suddenly became my fiance. We did not have immediate plans to get married (primarily because I wanted to save some more money first in order to do it properly).
However, life has now thrown us a curveball in the shape of a pregnancy. We are both delighted about this (although the other half is now suffering through a variety of pregnancy related issues - and a craving for Dinuguan - which is almost impossible to buy in (Muslim) Malaysia ).
The Current Situation
Anyway, the situation I now find myself in is this. My Fiance is due in Feb 2015.
She wants to have the baby back in the Philippines - as it's her first and she wants to be close to her family - particularly her mother. I have no problems with that although it does mean she has to go home by Mid-November as there are problems with getting flights after 7-months pregnancy. I will obviously miss her - but cannot take so much time off work - and I want her to be wherever she is most comfortable. Sadly she cannot work here on a dependent visa and that does mean that she is at home alone a lot when I am at work - as such I think it may also be better if she has the company of her family in the final few months.
However, what I would like advice upon is the issue of marriage, illegitimacy, surnames, registrations, travel documents etc.
With regard marriage we had intended to get married anyway - but it would probably have been on a longer timescale. As I am Catholic too (British of Irish descent) we were going to get married in a church in the Philippines - but my intention was to save up enough cash to do it properly.
We are now contemplating the possibility of doing a civil service instead prior to the birth - possibly in December or early-Jan.
I understand that I have to get a Certificate from the British Consulate in Manila showing that there is no impediment to the marriage (it costs about 5k pesos) and I understand my fiance needs to get a similar document from her Barangay authorities.
From what I have read the British Embassy will not issue the document for at least 21 days after I visit them in person - which probably means at least two trips to the Phils in advance of any marriage - as well as trips over at Christmas/New Year and then again around the due date.
I then assume that once we both have these documents we can do a civil service in my fiance's home town? Are there any other costs I need to account for?
This whole process - especially the trips back and forth - will be quite expensive and my priority at the moment is more on ensuring I have the cash for health checkups/hospital for my fiance and the baby - and as such we are considering whether we actually need to get married prior to the birth.
Obviously there is/was a social stigma attached to having an illegitimate baby - but I am not sure how strong that still is? My fiance is insisting that she is happy either way - but wondered what you fellas with experience in the Philippines think?
Also, my fiance is quite happy for the baby to have my surname - however I am not sure if the baby can have my surname if it is classed as illegitimate. I have read elsewhere that as long as I am present at the birth and sign the birth certificate then this is not a problem - but wondered if anyone could confirm this is the case in the Philippines?
Finally, is it possible to get travel documents for the child so he/she can come back to Malaysia a mont (or so) after the birth if the baby is illegitimate? Or is it straightforward if the birth certificate is signed in both our names? Someone told us that the baby would need to be baptised before it traveled in order to obtain the necessary Filipino documentation - but I am not sure that is the case. Can anyone confirm/deny?
With regard baptism - is this even possible if we are not married (but both Catholic). I read recently that Pope Francis has baptised kids of parents who are not married - but am not sure if that practice is common in all parts of the Catholic church as I got the impression some of the more 'conservative' elements of the church refuse baptism unless the parents are already married. Does anyone have any first hand experience of this in the Philippines?
Anyway, sorry for the long post.
Am interested in your thoughts.
It's been quite a long time since I popped on here last but need some advice from some of the more experience Expats in the Philippines.
The Background
I first met my Filipina GF (briefly) way back Dec 2011 during a visit to the Phils as part of a round the world trip. She was friends of friends - we got introduced and exchanged emails and then we stayed in contact as I continued my travels and when I got back to the UK - gradually getting closer and closer.
Anyway, during my travels I got offered a job in Malaysia, which I started in Oct 2012. I took this opportunity to visit my GF (and her family) on a monthly basis before I was able to get a 'dependent' visa for my GF in Malaysia (after getting a Common Law Wife certificate from the British High Comm here) and she has been living with me in Malaysia since March 2013.
Seven very happy months later I popped the question and my GF suddenly became my fiance. We did not have immediate plans to get married (primarily because I wanted to save some more money first in order to do it properly).
However, life has now thrown us a curveball in the shape of a pregnancy. We are both delighted about this (although the other half is now suffering through a variety of pregnancy related issues - and a craving for Dinuguan - which is almost impossible to buy in (Muslim) Malaysia ).
The Current Situation
Anyway, the situation I now find myself in is this. My Fiance is due in Feb 2015.
She wants to have the baby back in the Philippines - as it's her first and she wants to be close to her family - particularly her mother. I have no problems with that although it does mean she has to go home by Mid-November as there are problems with getting flights after 7-months pregnancy. I will obviously miss her - but cannot take so much time off work - and I want her to be wherever she is most comfortable. Sadly she cannot work here on a dependent visa and that does mean that she is at home alone a lot when I am at work - as such I think it may also be better if she has the company of her family in the final few months.
However, what I would like advice upon is the issue of marriage, illegitimacy, surnames, registrations, travel documents etc.
With regard marriage we had intended to get married anyway - but it would probably have been on a longer timescale. As I am Catholic too (British of Irish descent) we were going to get married in a church in the Philippines - but my intention was to save up enough cash to do it properly.
We are now contemplating the possibility of doing a civil service instead prior to the birth - possibly in December or early-Jan.
I understand that I have to get a Certificate from the British Consulate in Manila showing that there is no impediment to the marriage (it costs about 5k pesos) and I understand my fiance needs to get a similar document from her Barangay authorities.
From what I have read the British Embassy will not issue the document for at least 21 days after I visit them in person - which probably means at least two trips to the Phils in advance of any marriage - as well as trips over at Christmas/New Year and then again around the due date.
I then assume that once we both have these documents we can do a civil service in my fiance's home town? Are there any other costs I need to account for?
This whole process - especially the trips back and forth - will be quite expensive and my priority at the moment is more on ensuring I have the cash for health checkups/hospital for my fiance and the baby - and as such we are considering whether we actually need to get married prior to the birth.
Obviously there is/was a social stigma attached to having an illegitimate baby - but I am not sure how strong that still is? My fiance is insisting that she is happy either way - but wondered what you fellas with experience in the Philippines think?
Also, my fiance is quite happy for the baby to have my surname - however I am not sure if the baby can have my surname if it is classed as illegitimate. I have read elsewhere that as long as I am present at the birth and sign the birth certificate then this is not a problem - but wondered if anyone could confirm this is the case in the Philippines?
Finally, is it possible to get travel documents for the child so he/she can come back to Malaysia a mont (or so) after the birth if the baby is illegitimate? Or is it straightforward if the birth certificate is signed in both our names? Someone told us that the baby would need to be baptised before it traveled in order to obtain the necessary Filipino documentation - but I am not sure that is the case. Can anyone confirm/deny?
With regard baptism - is this even possible if we are not married (but both Catholic). I read recently that Pope Francis has baptised kids of parents who are not married - but am not sure if that practice is common in all parts of the Catholic church as I got the impression some of the more 'conservative' elements of the church refuse baptism unless the parents are already married. Does anyone have any first hand experience of this in the Philippines?
Anyway, sorry for the long post.
Am interested in your thoughts.