holy week

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 15th April 2019, 03:31 PM
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was asked by wife last week if its ok if her brother comes again this yr for holy week. I said yes of course. Then he messaged me say saying he was going there to my house. I said ok good....then a few days ago I was told him and kids(I thought she meant a couple)nope,,him 6 kids,wife so 8 extra in total. I know its their way but I feel this is too excessive . I had a cat die last holy day I took from usa and she told me no vets were open so she couldn't save him. Now im thinking all this happened with a house full of relatives and she didn't have time. I have my 13 yr old tortoise shell there and I keep my house for her......if I didn't need her there feeding I would just end it all. Too old and tired for this Filipino nonsense
I told her no.
Now im wondering if last holy week there were 8 others in my house and my cat died. I like her to enjoy her family but that's too much. I told her its NOT a vacation rental! We live on subic bay and to them its a huge deal to come there from manila and drink etc
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Last edited by lefties43332; 15th April 2019 at 03:54 PM.
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Old 16th April 2019, 12:34 AM
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My wife wants to add a 2nd bedroom to our house - I just smiled and told her she obviously did not understand my intent of building a 1 bedroom house.
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Old 16th April 2019, 01:50 AM
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My wife wants to add a 2nd bedroom to our house - I just smiled and told her she obviously did not understand my intent of building a 1 bedroom house.
Tim, Same here. I feel quite sure that my Asawa's daughter & her illegitimate offspring (you have met them) would be living with us if I had not insisted on building a small single bedroom bungalow type house only big enough for 2 of us. I don't mind so much the occasional support and occasional inclusion but balk at what could have been the total support if I had allowed a larger house to be built. At least that issue no longer comes up.

Lefties, Got to keep in mind that they do have a different thought process concerning family than we do.

Fred
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Old 16th April 2019, 01:56 AM
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I just hate im given the impression its 2 or 3 coming then I find out its 8.......I feel its deceitful...not happening!!!
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Old 16th April 2019, 06:49 AM
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I hear and see pain that many go through over the years of reading forums and personal experiences also that I have been through over my last 8 years, expressed by many on this and other sites when it comes to family and or friends expectations if it involves a foreigner and dare I say a more affluent Filipino.

We live and learn, cultural norms/doctrines can be changed as they have within my now extended family, while yes we do give it is with moderation and my better half learnt many years ago that just because we are together it doesn't include the 5,000 relatives. Honestly, a simple no goes a long way. Including your partner in the financial arrangements and honest communication will save a lot of grief and then some.

Only my lowly opinion but for us it is working.

Cheers, Steve.
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Old 16th April 2019, 10:21 AM
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I hear and see pain that many go through over the years of reading forums and personal experiences also that I have been through over my last 8 years, expressed by many on this and other sites when it comes to family and or friends expectations if it involves a foreigner and dare I say a more affluent Filipino.

We live and learn, cultural norms/doctrines can be changed as they have within my now extended family, while yes we do give it is with moderation and my better half learnt many years ago that just because we are together it doesn't include the 5,000 relatives. Honestly, a simple no goes a long way. Including your partner in the financial arrangements and honest communication will save a lot of grief and then some.

Only my lowly opinion but for us it is working.

Cheers, Steve.
Agreed!!!

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Old 16th April 2019, 10:38 AM
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About two months before Holy Week about 6 years ago my wife's sister and her family 6 decided to come early and stay with us and to make matters worse they brought their friend and his family of an additional 4 more and who got stuck with the food requirements you guessed it.

Steve I've been there done that and even the wife finally wised up to her sisters who have given us the worst experiences not so much her brothers but it took such a long time for her to come around, so we no longer host anyone in our home anymore other than my kids and grandkids.

Sister tried to make up for it by paying for the Pool Resort and it sort of worked out nice and we had fun but the next month she needed her money back lol, I don't have to worry about this sister returning she owes so many people money she's wanted by the police so she stays up in Nueva Ecija and I couldn't be happier.
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I am not a regulated immigration adviser. I am offering an opinion and not advice. Check here for professional help with the Philippine Bureau of Immigration PBI https://www.facebook.com/officialbureauofimmigration or Philippine Retirement Authority PRA for an SRRV Visa https://pra.gov.ph/contact/ Always stay alert and don't let your guard down.
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Old 16th April 2019, 11:43 AM
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I see and hear your story Mark and what you and others have said but perhaps I am a hard [email protected] and have never let myself been put in such a situation and given observations from expats sites as well as personal experiences will never fall into such situations. To date it is working. Tomorrow who can tell?

Cheers, Steve.

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Old 16th April 2019, 11:52 AM
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I see and hear your story Mark and what you and others have said but perhaps I am a hard [email protected] and have never let myself been put in such a situation and given observations from expats sites as well as personal experiences will never fall into such situations. To date it is working. Tomorrow who can tell?

Cheers, Steve.
Im with you 1000% on this steve. I never to date allowed any of this at my house. Now when informed of this and I have to assume its what took place last yr when my cat that I took from usa ended up dead I feel somewhat betrayed. Now its nipped in the bud

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Old 16th April 2019, 12:56 PM
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Tim, Same here. I feel quite sure that my Asawa's daughter & her illegitimate offspring (you have met them) would be living with us if I had not insisted on building a small single bedroom bungalow type house only big enough for 2 of us. I don't mind so much the occasional support and occasional inclusion but balk at what could have been the total support if I had allowed a larger house to be built. At least that issue no longer comes up.

Lefties, Got to keep in mind that they do have a different thought process concerning family than we do.

Fred
I completely do. Im from an Italian family....BUT,when it causes harm to whats mine then its OUT!!!
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