Advice on dealing with family in the province - Page 3

Go Back   Expat Forum For People Moving Overseas And Living Abroad > Asia > Philippines Expat Forum

Philippines Expat Forum The Philippines Expats Forum is dedicated those individuals that have chosen to make Philippines their new home. This forum is an ideal place for Expats now living in Philippines to meet and discuss all aspects to their new way of life.

Like Tree16Likes

Advice on dealing with family in the province - Page 3


Closed Thread
 
Subscribe to this Thread Thread Tools
  #21 (permalink)  
Old 23rd July 2013, 08:19 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Pasay
Posts: 83
Rep Power: 0
MikeynJenz is on a distinguished road
88 likes received
28 likes given

Users Flag! Originally from uk. Users Flag! Expat in philippines.
Default

Ahhh we are back to this one again lol...

This is seriously the biggest problem we as foreigners face and we have ALL experienced it at some level or another.

It has to come down to as most have said, setting a budget on what you will do and never budge on it. If you budge just once, it will be expected every month, so be firm but fair.

I give her family (parents) a sack of rice each month, i pay their water bill and we spend about 3k on groceries once a month. That's about 5k total and i will never go above, despite them always asking for more.

Christmas time, yes we buy plenty of gifts, we too bought a flat screen TV (those cheap brands though) last year for her parents and the two kids that live in the house (i say kids but they are 24 and 25).

Totally agree with gratitude...there really is none. We got a thank you (fake though) the first month, but now it is more of what we must give them and not help anymore.

Me and the gf have just come back from a four day trip to Malaysia (visa run/holiday), bought some gifts and only one of them said ty. The mum wanted something better, the dad said why didn't you just give me cash instead and the other brother doesn't like his clothes because they are imitations and not 'real'.

Next time they will not get anything.

Quick reply to this message
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 23rd July 2013, 10:10 AM
Asian Spirit's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Philippines
Posts: 6,008
Rep Power: 543
Asian Spirit has a reputation beyond reputeAsian Spirit has a reputation beyond reputeAsian Spirit has a reputation beyond reputeAsian Spirit has a reputation beyond reputeAsian Spirit has a reputation beyond reputeAsian Spirit has a reputation beyond reputeAsian Spirit has a reputation beyond reputeAsian Spirit has a reputation beyond reputeAsian Spirit has a reputation beyond reputeAsian Spirit has a reputation beyond reputeAsian Spirit has a reputation beyond repute
4099 likes received
5087 likes given

Users Flag! Originally from usa. Users Flag! Expat in philippines.
Thumbs up To Give Or Not To Give

Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeynJenz View Post
Ahhh we are back to this one again lol...

This is seriously the biggest problem we as foreigners face and we have ALL experienced it at some level or another.

It has to come down to as most have said, setting a budget on what you will do and never budge on it. If you budge just once, it will be expected every month, so be firm but fair.

I give her family (parents) a sack of rice each month, i pay their water bill and we spend about 3k on groceries once a month. That's about 5k total and i will never go above, despite them always asking for more.

Christmas time, yes we buy plenty of gifts, we too bought a flat screen TV (those cheap brands though) last year for her parents and the two kids that live in the house (i say kids but they are 24 and 25).

Totally agree with gratitude...there really is none. We got a thank you (fake though) the first month, but now it is more of what we must give them and not help anymore.

Me and the gf have just come back from a four day trip to Malaysia (visa run/holiday), bought some gifts and only one of them said ty. The mum wanted something better, the dad said why didn't you just give me cash instead and the other brother doesn't like his clothes because they are imitations and not 'real'.

Next time they will not get anything.
Agree with your thoughts and practices as well. I suppose it will never change with the bulk of the people and families here. Seems it's gotten to be a way of life and most don't have a decent sense of right and wrong to begin with. Without a doubt, I too would make that the very last time anything was given as gifts. As for supplying the family with food etc, I think it is okay in a "verifiable" emergency and perhaps during the holidays. Beyond that, I would not and still do not. They got along and managed to stay alive before you arrived in their life and can continue to do so.
Here, we supply medicine and doctors visits for the in laws but not much more--for the same reasons you mention. If ya once start, it doesn't stop----it just NEVER stops. Our life and that of our children as well as our marriage come first beyond and before anyone or anything else. They seem to have learned that will not change and have no further problems with the family.

I think this thread has just about run it's course and I'll close it before it sinks into degradation. Perhaps we can reopen it again in the future ...


Gene
M.C.A. likes this.

__________________
https://www.lds.org/young-women/reso...es/yw-logo.pngHusbands love your wives well! Your children are watching how you treat her.
You are teaching your sons how they should treat women and you are teaching
your daughters what they should expect from men..

Be part of Flight Aware Free




-------------------------------------------------------------------
Visit Expat Forum on Facebook too...

Last edited by Asian Spirit; 23rd July 2013 at 10:13 AM.
Quick reply to this message
Closed Thread


Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Expat Forum For People Moving Overseas And Living Abroad forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:
Location
Where you live
Expat From Country
Please select the country you originate from. This will appear as a flag when you make posts on the site.
Expat To Country
Please select the country you have either moved to or want to relocate to. This will be presented on the site when you make posts.

Log-in


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Any tips on dealing with jet lag? Joeday76 New Zealand Expat Forum for Expats Living in New Zealand 12 31st May 2012 03:36 PM
unemployment province by province - between 10% & 35% xabiaxica Spain Expat Forum for Expats Living in Spain 11 7th November 2011 09:53 AM
Dealing with Homesickness & Saying Goodbye to Family/Friends jay10 Australia Expat Forum for Expats Living in Australia 1 9th June 2010 02:08 AM
advice on dealing with stroppy teens refusal to go to oz kimryn Australia Expat Forum for Expats Living in Australia 8 13th October 2007 10:57 AM

FORUM PARTNERS

ExpatForum.com is owned and operated by VerticalScope Inc.

Retiring Overseas Guides | Moving Overseas Guides | Cost of Living | Health Care Guides


All times are GMT. The time now is 04:33 PM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.