Covid-19 - a little humour

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Covid-19 - a little humour


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Old 29th March 2020, 09:13 AM
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Default Covid-19 - a little humour

Heard a Dr. on TV say to have inner peace we should always finish things we start and we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked through my house to find things I'd started and hadn't finished, So I finished off a bottle of scotch, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum. And two al hve a Marry Crispmouse.
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Old 29th March 2020, 09:18 AM
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Sounds like you've been listening to Dr.Trump again.

Careful, he'll have you back at work by Easter.
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Old 29th March 2020, 10:37 AM
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Smiling Is Infectious
by Spike Milligan

Smiling is infectious,
you catch it like the flu,
When someone smiled at me today,
I started smiling too.
I passed around the corner
and someone saw my grin.
When he smiled I realized
I'd passed it on to him.
I thought about that smile,
then I realized its worth.
A single smile, just like mine
could travel round the earth.
So, if you feel a smile begin,
don't leave it undetected.
Let's start an epidemic quick,
and get the world infected!

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Old 29th March 2020, 11:18 AM
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We woke up to a tap on the door this morning My plumber has a really strange sense of humour
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Old 29th March 2020, 07:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crabtree View Post
We woke up to a tap on the door this morning My plumber has a really strange sense of humour
We must have the same plumber! We had a leek on the boiler.

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Old 30th March 2020, 08:40 AM
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"Astrophysicist gets magnets stuck up nose while inventing coronavirus device"

https://www.theguardian.com/australi...navirus-device

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Old 30th March 2020, 11:06 AM
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Apparently the numpties in the UK are panic buying light bulbs in case of power cuts

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Old 30th March 2020, 11:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crabtree View Post
Apparently the numpties in the UK are panic buying light bulbs in case of power cuts

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Old 30th March 2020, 03:48 PM
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How about giving your wife a boost by telling her that her hair looks different

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Old 8th April 2020, 10:55 AM
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With the lockdown in progress the number of domestic incidents in the UK is increasing A friend in the UK phoned me up to say that his wife had left him I asked what happened and he said that she had gone out to get some milk and never came back I asked how he was managing and he replied he was using the powdered stuff

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