Jokes that make you laugh ... - Page 2

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Jokes that make you laugh ... - Page 2


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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 17th April 2010, 05:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Jynxgirl View Post
I gave all ya'll some THANKS, just to show some love
About time more showed "some luv" ... where's Andy right now .... I'm sure not far away? :tongue1

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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 17th April 2010, 05:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Fatenhappy View Post
About time more showed "some luv" ... where's Andy right now .... I'm sure not far away? :tongue1
Leaving out the last colon makes that very, very funny

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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 18th April 2010, 01:54 PM
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A quick reminder about the forum's rules on copyright:

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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 18th April 2010, 04:45 PM
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Yes Nomad stop being naughty

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Old 21st April 2010, 11:46 AM
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(before marriage) Husband; I can hadly wait ? Wife: do you want me to leave? Husband: dont even think about it. Wife: do you love me? Husband : always have,,,, always will Wife: have you cheated on me? Husband; every chance i get! Wife:; will you hit me? Husband: hell no are you crazy Wife: can i trust you Husband: yes Wife: darling (after marriage read in reverse!)

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Old 21st April 2010, 12:51 PM
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3 men went fishing and camping for the weekend. They got a few fish the first day and that night were sitting around the fire having some of the fish for dinner.

Suddenly Bill starts choking on a piece of fish bone that's caught in his throat ...... he jumps up as he starts to go blue in the face.

Joe his mate runs round behind and pulls Bills pants down then licks him on the bum. Bill gets such a shock he shoots the chunk of fish bone out of his mouth.

Bill turns and says ...... "gees thanks mate ya saved me life"...... Joe says ..... "no worries mate, that hindlick manouvre works every time...."

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Last edited by Fatenhappy; 21st April 2010 at 12:53 PM.
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Old 21st April 2010, 12:57 PM
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Two Aussies, Bruce and Jonno, in the outback lying in the sun having a beer, when one needs to relieve himself. As he is having a pee a snake springs up and bites him on the knob. He screams in agony and yells at his mate to phone a doctor.
His mate calls the doctor, tells him where they are, and doctor advises that his mate will die before he can get there.
"What can I do?" Bruce asks him, "Well you need to make 2 incisions either side of the wound and then suck the poison out" replies the quack, "if you don't do it quickly then your friend will die"

"Hurry mate this is killing, What does the doctor say?" cries out Jonno

" Sorry mate but am afraid you are going die" came the reply

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Old 21st April 2010, 03:56 PM
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Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant.

"Sid," asked Al, "Are there any Jews in China?"

"I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?"

When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Jews in China?"

"I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Jews in China."

"Are you sure?" Al asked.

"I will check again, sir." the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.

While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere."

When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Jews in China."

"Are you really sure?" Al asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China."

"Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but no Chinese Jews!"

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Last edited by Fatenhappy; 21st April 2010 at 04:02 PM.
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Old 30th April 2010, 01:25 PM
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the church service was ending & the collection had just finished.The preacher saw a $50 on the plate stopped the service & said `who ever put the $50 in please stand up` A gay man stood up & said I DID the preacher said for your generosity ill let you pick 3 hymms,,so he stood up all excieted and pointed ill have him,him & him

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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 30th April 2010, 05:54 PM
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I am well. Hope you are. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil the Army is better than working on the farm - tell them to get into the Army quick before the jobs are all gone.

I was a bit slow in settling down at first, because you don't get outta bed until 6am. I like sleeping in now, but all you do before brekkie is make ya bed and shine your boots and clean your uniform. No cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack-nothing.

Men must shave, but its not so bad, coz there's hot water and a light to see what ya doing.

Breakfast has cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or possum stew. You don't get fed again until noon, and by that time all the city boys are ******ed because we've been on a 'route march' just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock.

This will kill Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shooting - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum's head and it doesn't move and its not firing back at ya like the Johnson's did when our bull got their cow pregnant before the Easter Show. Alls ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - piece of cake. You don't even load your own cartridges - they comes in boxes and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload.

Then ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - its not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve all at once like we do.

Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this guy from 5RAR - he's 6 foot 8 and 13 stone and I'm 5 foot six and seven stone, but I fought to the end.

I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how good it is.

Your loving daughter, Sally

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Last edited by Fatenhappy; 30th April 2010 at 05:56 PM.
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