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unmarried couples in hotels - Page 2


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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 28th September 2008, 03:37 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Gaza View Post
I have been to Dubai twice on holiday before we were married. No questions asked at immigration and none whatsoever at the Hilton Dubai Creek.

If they did try to enforce the law it would be devastating for the tourist industry.
Quite right, and when it comes to morals or money, money always wins in Dubai! (Sorry, feeling a bit cynical today.)

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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 20th December 2008, 08:42 PM
 
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That is very interesting. I came to Dubai as a tourist - I have friends there (who are a Muslim expat couple with a child), but I also met an Emirati gentleman online and spent time with him there. I stayed with my friends, who dropped me off to meet my gentleman friend. He lives with his parents, so I could not visit him at his home. After a close call on the beach ("do you not read your own news here? that is illegal! Stop!"), he got us a hotel room the next evening. I was not prepared for asking for a copy of my passport, and found the whole situation rather uncomfortable. He had said that, if I wanted to move there, he would help me find a job and get us (US!) an apartment. I don't know if this is a lot of hooey just to pull one over on me, but I can't believe he is so blase! Sex on the beach! Hotel rooms! Living together (and because of an age difference, marriage is out for him)! Any thoughts? (BTW, I would like to come back to visit, possibly to work, so I don't want to mess up things! My friends said I was welcome to come back and stay with them, but they also don't want to be involved in any messes, especially since this is now their home)...

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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 20th December 2008, 09:18 PM
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That is very interesting. I came to Dubai as a tourist - I have friends there (who are a Muslim expat couple with a child), but I also met an Emirati gentleman online and spent time with him there. I stayed with my friends, who dropped me off to meet my gentleman friend. He lives with his parents, so I could not visit him at his home. After a close call on the beach ("do you not read your own news here? that is illegal! Stop!"), he got us a hotel room the next evening. I was not prepared for asking for a copy of my passport, and found the whole situation rather uncomfortable. He had said that, if I wanted to move there, he would help me find a job and get us (US!) an apartment. I don't know if this is a lot of hooey just to pull one over on me, but I can't believe he is so blase! Sex on the beach! Hotel rooms! Living together (and because of an age difference, marriage is out for him)! Any thoughts? (BTW, I would like to come back to visit, possibly to work, so I don't want to mess up things! My friends said I was welcome to come back and stay with them, but they also don't want to be involved in any messes, especially since this is now their home)...
oh my.... I donīt want to go into the longest rant ever about my thoughts after reading your post. You don't say what your age is but I am guessing you are rather young, or just very, very naive (sorry to say so, but that is how you come accross).

So please be very, VERY CAREFUL with your next steps with this gentleman friend of yours ...

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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 20th December 2008, 09:29 PM
 
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Wink Thank you for your concern - ok, I am all ears...

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oh my.... I donīt want to go into the longest rant ever about my thoughts after reading your post. You don't say what your age is but I am guessing you are rather young, or just very, very naive (sorry to say so, but that is how you come accross).

So please be very, VERY CAREFUL with your next steps with this gentleman friend of yours ...

Well, it is funny you would mention my age. I am actually a 46-year old divorcee who has been divorced for about 8 years, and this is my first foray into dating life (!). In actuality, the gentleman in question told me he was 38, divorced, and not wanting to remarry after a bad experience. When I went to Dubai, my friends and I questioned why we were frequenting these "secluded" spots; his response was the locals were quite gossipy and he wanted to avoid that (he also would only dress in Western clothing - no candooras ever). When I returned, he texted me and told me he had something he had to confess - he was not 38, but 23 years old. He apologized to me and begged me to not break up with him - I realized then, however, the real reason why he could not GET PERMISSION to marry me - I was close to the age of his parents. I am not sure if all of this is even the truth, but there it is... I hate to think of myself as a desperate person, especially when there is a man here in the states, close to my age, who is interested in me. I just am having issues with my feelings for this (young) man. By the way, he is planning on visiting me here in the states in the summer... should be interesting. Okay, dizzyizzy, there you go - go for it! Reality checks are always welcome...

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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 20th December 2008, 09:51 PM
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Well, it is funny you would mention my age. I am actually a 46-year old divorcee who has been divorced for about 8 years, and this is my first foray into dating life (!). In actuality, the gentleman in question told me he was 38, divorced, and not wanting to remarry after a bad experience. When I went to Dubai, my friends and I questioned why we were frequenting these "secluded" spots; his response was the locals were quite gossipy and he wanted to avoid that (he also would only dress in Western clothing - no candooras ever). When I returned, he texted me and told me he had something he had to confess - he was not 38, but 23 years old. He apologized to me and begged me to not break up with him - I realized then, however, the real reason why he could not GET PERMISSION to marry me - I was close to the age of his parents. I am not sure if all of this is even the truth, but there it is... I hate to think of myself as a desperate person, especially when there is a man here in the states, close to my age, who is interested in me. I just am having issues with my feelings for this (young) man. By the way, he is planning on visiting me here in the states in the summer... should be interesting. Okay, dizzyizzy, there you go - go for it! Reality checks are always welcome...
Oh Djinna!!

Where do we start... lol... perhaps with the fact that you are twice his age? hey... I am ok with a few years difference (Iīve dated people who are younger than me by a couple of years), but dear, 23 years is just way too much!!! You are a woman, he is a boy!!! Then you have the fact that he lied about his age own age to you? And also lied about who he was whilst he was out with you (trying to pass as a non emirati by not wearing his kandura)? He was trying to not be seen with you by taking you to "secluded" places? He risked *your* safety by exposing you to being caught cuddling on the beach, when we all know people can get and DO GET into serious trouble for that, actually ending up IN JAIL? Perhaps they would have taken it easy on him because he is an emirati, or has connections, but you could have ended up in jail for that if caught my dear!! just check the papers, does the name michelle palmer rings a bell to you??

Then he promises to get you a house and a job and a life together when he probably can't even afford a place for himself as he lives with his parents??? This is not a gentleman, this is a boy, who is also a liar, and who doesn't care about your safety by exposing you like that.

I am not your friend but if I was, I would definitely make sure you cut contact with this person right now!!!

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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 20th December 2008, 10:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by dizzyizzy View Post
Oh Djinna!!

Where do we start... lol... perhaps with the fact that you are twice his age? hey... I am ok with a few years difference (Iīve dated people who are younger than me by a couple of years), but dear, 23 years is just way too much!!! You are a woman, he is a boy!!! Then you have the fact that he lied about his age own age to you? And also lied about who he was whilst he was out with you (trying to pass as a non emirati by not wearing his kandura)? He was trying to not be seen with you by taking you to "secluded" places? He risked *your* safety by exposing you to being caught cuddling on the beach, when we all know people can get and DO GET into serious trouble for that, actually ending up IN JAIL? Perhaps they would have taken it easy on him because he is an emirati, or has connections, but you could have ended up in jail for that if caught my dear!! just check the papers, does the name michelle palmer rings a bell to you??

Then he promises to get you a house and a job and a life together when he probably can't even afford a place for himself as he lives with his parents??? This is not a gentleman, this is a boy, who is also a liar, and who doesn't care about your safety by exposing you like that.

I am not your friend but if I was, I would definitely make sure you cut contact with this person right now!!!

I know what you are saying, and I agree. I even ask myself, why am I doing this? I guess since I am in the states now and not intending to come there anytime soon, I don't have the same urgency to come to a decision as if I were moving right away. I had a very bad first marriage, so I have to admit, his overall gentleness is a nice change. Still, the age is a BIG deal to me (38 was not bad, but 23...). Interestingly, I just finished chatting with him a moment ago and told him, look, this is really a dead-end relationship... He, of course, said no, no, baby, that is not the case! I truly don't even think he is being malicious, only very immature. But I do agree that this immaturity can have real consequences, if not for him, definitely for me. Especially since he has no desire to come to the states, does have a job there, and is not even around enough for it just to be about having a regular sex partner, I can't imagine what "angle" he would have. He just seems content to text me or call me, and me email him... I just get the feeling he is a very lonely young man... you see where I am coming from? I still intend to go on with my life, though; I would like to be married again, if the circumstances are right, and he is aware of this - I am not going to miss an opportunity if God sends someone my way...

Thanks for your time and thoughts; it is good to have an objective opinion. You would be a good friend to have, I'm sure! :-)

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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 20th December 2008, 10:26 PM
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I know what you are saying, and I agree. I even ask myself, why am I doing this? I guess since I am in the states now and not intending to come there anytime soon, I don't have the same urgency to come to a decision as if I were moving right away. I had a very bad first marriage, so I have to admit, his overall gentleness is a nice change. Still, the age is a BIG deal to me (38 was not bad, but 23...). Interestingly, I just finished chatting with him a moment ago and told him, look, this is really a dead-end relationship... He, of course, said no, no, baby, that is not the case! I truly don't even think he is being malicious, only very immature. But I do agree that this immaturity can have real consequences, if not for him, definitely for me. Especially since he has no desire to come to the states, does have a job there, and is not even around enough for it just to be about having a regular sex partner, I can't imagine what "angle" he would have. He just seems content to text me or call me, and me email him... I just get the feeling he is a very lonely young man... you see where I am coming from? I still intend to go on with my life, though; I would like to be married again, if the circumstances are right, and he is aware of this - I am not going to miss an opportunity if God sends someone my way...

Thanks for your time and thoughts; it is good to have an objective opinion. You would be a good friend to have, I'm sure! :-)
I'm glad to see you are keeping your head cool and getting real about the whole thing. I didnīt even mention the religious/cultural implications, but I just don't see how a 23 year old emirati could marry a 46 divorced woman and live happy ever after in Dubai. I am sure you have better prospects in the states and you can find someone over there who lives closer to you, and who is a real gentleman and treats you properly.

Best of lucks

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Old 20th December 2008, 10:40 PM
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I agree with dizzy completely. But i have clear few point. you donít know if he emirate or not. Not because he say, and if you say he is emirate it will not make it right for you, he is so young and if you caught you canít say I donít know about his age. You will end up in the jail and you will be ban to enter the country...In addition, whatever emirate or not when its come to something wrong his connection it will be useless because he canít ask any favor from anyone. And when someone lie from the beginning what you will expect from him later.

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Old 20th December 2008, 10:47 PM
 
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I agree with dizzy completely. But i have clear few point. you donít know if he emirate or not. Not because he say, and if you say he is emirate it will not make it right for you, he is so young and if you caught you canít say I donít know about his age. You will end up in the jail and you will be ban to enter the country...In addition, whatever emirate or not when its come to something wrong his connection it will be useless because he canít ask any favor from anyone. And when someone lie from the beginning what you will expect from him later.

Thank you, sir, for your response. You are quite right in that I have not seen his passport or ID, so I do not know if he is actually emirati - not that it really matters, but again, when trust is damaged, it is hard to say what is true and what is not. I definitely do not want to be in a position where I have to test the UAE judicial system!

I think the most frustrating thing for me is that I DID wait for 8 years from my divorce to find the right person; this is very disappointing for me as I am a good person and not one to have boyfriend after boyfriend - I don't feel that I am being treated with the proper respect, either because I am American or because I am not Muslim. You all have given me ample food for thought. Thank you again for your time.

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Old 20th December 2008, 11:14 PM
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Thank you, sir, for your response. You are quite right in that I have not seen his passport or ID, so I do not know if he is actually emirati - not that it really matters, but again, when trust is damaged, it is hard to say what is true and what is not. I definitely do not want to be in a position where I have to test the UAE judicial system!

I think the most frustrating thing for me is that I DID wait for 8 years from my divorce to find the right person; this is very disappointing for me as I am a good person and not one to have boyfriend after boyfriend - I don't feel that I am being treated with the proper respect, either because I am American or because I am not Muslim. You all have given me ample food for thought. Thank you again for your time.
Hi again Djinna,

Please don't be too hard on yourself, I think most people at some point in their lives have come across someone who has not been honest or trustworthy but at least you are in a point where you have a chance to get real about the situation, get out of it as soon as possible, cut contact with this person, get smarter and move on with your life! This is just a person who did wrong (out of immatureness or selfishness, or whatever, it doesn't make any difference at this point) but is not a reflection of you or of this country or culture. Is a hard pill to swallow, I am sure, but I think the fact that you started to question these things now and not later, and you are being real and honest with yourself and treating you with respect by getting out of a situation that is potentially damaging for you, proves that you are an intelligent woman who takes care of herself, and that's all that matters!! So cheer up and don't give up your hopes, I am sure the right person for you is just waiting around the corner

Izzy

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