Partner applying for ILR

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Partner applying for ILR


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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 17th February 2020, 10:40 AM
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Default Partner applying for ILR

Hi, my husband came here on a spouse visa from in 2016, he will be applying for his ILR next year.

Our relationship is quite rocky with him not even making an effort to fix anything. It seems as though he has gone too big for his boots since coming here from pakistan and playing with my emotions daily.

He is always hurting my feelings and I don't think we will live a happy life here. The only way he'll change is if we were to both go live abroad but he just wants to get his British citizenship. I no longer want him to be in this country because of all the pain he has caused me and continues to do so.

When he applies for ILR next year does he need to show proof of subsiding relationship, is there anyway I can let home office know that I am not happy in this relationship?, does he need my passport for ilr application?

Thanks for taking time to read this

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Old 17th February 2020, 11:21 AM
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Hi,

I am no expert, but from my understanding you MUST be in a genuine relationship to proceed with a visa application. If you are unable to resolve your issues and are certain that this should end, then discuss the options with him.

Most relationships have ups and downs and sometimes our emotions to end a relationship can take over and in the moment we can make decisions that have long term consequences. I.e. if you decide to discuss with home office, but then you resolve your issues it may make it harder to apply in future (it may not as well, provided you explain it all I guess). Personally I would suggest seek advice from someone you trust before going further on your relationship first and then proceed accordingly.

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Old 17th February 2020, 11:30 AM
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Hi, from the very first year that he came here he has been emotionally abusive I have found out he is a narcissist.

By 2017 this emotional abuse was so bad that sometimes I wished I could just die than to stay with him. One if the problems with him is that he doesn't ever apologize for his behaviour when I try explaining to him what he's doing wrong but rather he likes to bring up what I have done wrong which I always apologize for.

My marriage was an arranged marriage that I consented to but I honestly wish I didn't marry him.

I don't know what to do but all I know he is after getting his "Stay" or citizenship in this country and then I don't know what he'll do.

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Old 17th February 2020, 11:45 AM
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I'm not a relationship counsellor, but if your husband treats you poorly in the UK, he will treat you poorly anywhere - The measure of a person's character is not location-dependent. Frankly it sounds like he is using you, which I imagine you have already considered.

As for ILR - He needs your written statement of support in order to apply for ILR. He also needs to prove that you have been living together continuously for the last 2 years. Without this, he would not be able to remain in the UK unless you have children together.

You can write to the Home Office, but unless you've physically separated, have filed a police report for domestic violence, or divorced, they are unlikely to take any kind of action against him. It's your responsibility to decide to stay or go; they only care that the relationship has broken down permanently (i.e., divorce).

If you are irreconcilably unhappy with him, you should separate and start divorce proceedings. If you are concerned for your safety, please inform the police. Don't focus on trying to make him leave the country - As that is a matter of spite and may not even be within your control.

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Old 17th February 2020, 12:12 PM
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I am not spiting him, I want to live with him abroad but hes just interested in getting his visa here. When we lived together abroad he was nicer to me.

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Old 17th February 2020, 01:43 PM
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I'm not trying to make him leave the country but since he has used and emotionally abused me throughout his entire time in the UK whilst living with me, I don't find it fair that he can use the spouse route to get ILR. IF he wants to use another route to get his stay that is absolutely fine with me.
As this country us already crowded, I'm sure the UK government/ home officr won't mind if we both moved abroad.

I feel really hurt by your reply of me sending him back because of spite as you don't know how much I have suffered because of him.

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Old 17th February 2020, 02:25 PM
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You say:
Quote:
I'm not trying to make him leave the country
And in your original post:
Quote:
I no longer want him to be in this country
I digress then.

In your last comment:
Quote:
I don't find it fair that he can use the spouse route to get ILR.
I've already told you that he can't get ILR as a spouse if you don't offer your support, or if you haven't been living together.

I'm sorry if you feel hurt and I don't claim to know how much you have suffered. I can only answer questions on logistics and immigration rules. I don't intend any offence.

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Old 17th February 2020, 02:50 PM
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Sorry about the misunderstanding. I'm not that good at expressing what I meant to say so it may have come across a bit confusing.

Will he need my passport for his ILR applocation?

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Old 17th February 2020, 03:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KayaLove93 View Post
Sorry about the misunderstanding. I'm not that good at expressing what I meant to say so it may have come across a bit confusing.

Will he need my passport for his ILR applocation?
Yes... he will need a copy of the bio page from your passport for ILR and a copy if/when he applies for naturalisation.

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Old 17th February 2020, 03:30 PM
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Thankyou for replying 🙂

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