Moving to Australia! Have i done right choice?? This is eating me alive :S

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Moving to Australia! Have i done right choice?? This is eating me alive :S


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Old 28th June 2013, 07:32 AM
noq noq is offline
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Unhappy Moving to Australia! Have i done right choice?? This is eating me alive :S

Hi people,

This is going to be quite long post but iīm sure this going to be interested to read for you. So letīs start

I september last year i've met a girl online who was living in australia and for the info i live in sweden.
We clicked right away, sent dozens of messages each day and we kept the contact all the time.
We are both adult and we know what we want with the life so we started to talk about the topic if more serious would happen between us who would move. She said that she was ready to move to sweden. Two months later she came back and told me that she would like to live in Austria or Germany since she used to live there before and could get a job there. I've went back and forward and agreed on this one.

For the info i work as a project manager, have good sallary, have good life, traveling alot but the only thing missing in life is someone to share this with.
So i've decided to go and visit her in Australia in December last year.

I was there for a month and what a great country it is. It has same standards as sweden except we have free health care and free schools university etc.
But australia has great nature which i love.

So when i was there two weeks after she came to me and told me she couldnīt move from australia because she was to attached to her parents. So the only way was for me to move there.
I went back to sweden and was thinking about this and told her yes but only if we moved to somewhere where her parents was not there. When we were in thailand 2 months ago she told me that she could not move anywhere from the city where her parents lived since she was just to attached to her parents.

So i came back and was thinking was to do and then i came up with an idea. I decided to take of 8 months from work and try it out in australia.
She asked me everyday if i applied for this.
2 weeks ago we broked up. She told me even if i come to australia i wouldnt feel how it is to live here since i would know that i would go back to sweden.
Maybe she was right here but i was thinking really to give it an honest try.
I asked her what if i got depressed and homesick would she move with me and she said "No".
So we broke up and she didnt find out that i got the time of from work for 8 months.


I talked to a friend of her and i told him and he told her i guess and then she said that she was only expecting a call from me.
A week ago i sent a message to her to see how she was you know to start the conversation easy and i asked if i disturbed her.
She said yes, i did, that we were no longer friends, just strangers with bad memories for her, and she thanks God that we are no longer together and that i should delete her number.

I think she just got fed up by not knowing my decision if i would move.
I really love this girl ALOT, but 99% of my friends are telling me to just to drop it since it needs to be on both terms, only one person can't leave everything.

Why i can't drop this is because it took me 5 years to find her and i know i'll never find anyone in sweden. If i could i should have done it already.

This is confusing me and actually eating me alive.
The only thing which was holding me was my parents well that iw ould miss them. The rest honestly i don't care about since i know all material stuff i could get again.
Maybe stupid thing to think like that since many people here are dreaming of having life like i do and they tell me that often.

* I'm just thinking is it smart to actually leave the life i have here for her?, remeber i have everything here when it comes financialy and schools, healthcare, but i HATE SWEDEN, yes because weather and boring people

* Do you regret your move to australia?

* What do you not like about australia?

* Should i just call and tell i'm comming, would i reg?

* You who live there do you get homesick often?

* Has anyone of you been is situation like this decided to mvoe and then relationship ended, what did you do then?

* Why do people choose move back home from australia?


Time is ticking away i feel, and i have to do something, eighter try to fix this and give everything up and well move on her terms or drop this.

!PS Move this to correct thread but i guess this is correct one.
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Old 28th June 2013, 07:54 AM
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It is an interesting thread, different because most people here are relocating for material things and not love, i can not answer your questions because i went there just for two weeks but i would certainly like to know these answers too.

PS : Being in love is a beautiful feeling but can turn bitter quickly , whatever you do find out for sure if she will really welcome you to her life again if you were moving.

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Old 28th June 2013, 08:11 AM
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Hello Noq,

Just confirm with your GF whether she was serious about breaking off and whether the reason was because you are not in Australia..If you guys make up, you need to then think over this, if you guys dont, time to move on buddy

Raj

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Old 28th June 2013, 08:15 AM
noq noq is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by findraj View Post
Hello Noq,

Just confirm with your GF whether she was serious about breaking off and whether the reason was because you are not in Australia..If you guys make up, you need to then think over this, if you guys dont, time to move on buddy

Raj
I think she was serious because she maybe realized or well saw that i could not get used to australia. But that's why i took 8 moths off to try it out.
But i think its just stupid to drop everything off just like that since we invested alot of time, and other things on each other..

30 000 sms sent in past 6 months

/Mensur

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Old 28th June 2013, 08:24 AM
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Well, she must have got cold feet when you finally decided to make the big move..Take a month or so off go there, talk stay, reconcile, look beyond what she says (trust me women say something and do something)...And then decide whether "she" is worth all of it..

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Old 28th June 2013, 08:30 AM
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Hello Noq,

Love is a beautiful feeling. Don't give up till you know you have given it your all. You never know, things could change for the better once you are at her doorstep with a bunch of flowers!

All the best buddy!

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Old 28th June 2013, 08:43 AM
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Hi noq,

try to decouple your decision from your ex-girlfriend and do something that makes YOU happy. I have a couple of friends who went on round-the-world trips in their late 20s and they all gained so much from the experience. You wrote that you don't enjoy the weather and the people in Sweden. Well, maybe it's time for a change of scenery . You just got 8 months off from work. What do you want to do? Don't narrow it down to just Australia, think about what else you could do with that time and then make a choice.

You try to balance what makes you happy and what makes your partner happy in a relationship. But to be happy in a relationship you have to first love yourself and be content and secure with yourself. She said that you should delete her number. That's not a very hopeful sign, honestly. My suggestion: Leave the girl alone for a while. But if you enjoyed Australia the last time you were there why not consider a Work Holiday Visa? Get to know the country, learn to surf (maybe), enjoy Australia and meet new people. You can inform you ex-girlfriend that you will travel Australia for a bit and that you would love to meet up if she feels comfortable with that. If she says no, well, you'll still have a great trip, right? You may even like it so much that you want to stay there afterwards .

Missing people: I skype with my dad every week and use Skype credits to call my mom on the land-line. We also keep a private blog and our families say that they know more about our life now than when we lived in another city in Austria. Also, 8 months will fly by super fast, especially if you want to travel around as well.

Cheerio,
Monika

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Old 28th June 2013, 08:55 AM
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I can't comment on life in Australia because people tend to like different things, but I can relate to that because my ex was Australian as well, and we kind of faced the same thing.

To be brutally honest, if she's not willing to move with you, then she just doesn't love you enough.

Maybe all you need is some time off, and some travelling. How about travelling across Europe? Did you try to find jobs elsewhere in Europe? This way you will be closer to your parents.

I know what it's like to hate the weather (and the people), but sometimes when we travel our perspective change and we realize that it wasn't that bad to begin with

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Old 28th June 2013, 09:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by espresso View Post
Hi noq,

try to decouple your decision from your ex-girlfriend and do something that makes YOU happy. I have a couple of friends who went on round-the-world trips in their late 20s and they all gained so much from the experience. You wrote that you don't enjoy the weather and the people in Sweden. Well, maybe it's time for a change of scenery . You just got 8 months off from work. What do you want to do? Don't narrow it down to just Australia, think about what else you could do with that time and then make a choice.

You try to balance what makes you happy and what makes your partner happy in a relationship. But to be happy in a relationship you have to first love yourself and be content and secure with yourself. She said that you should delete her number. That's not a very hopeful sign, honestly. My suggestion: Leave the girl alone for a while. But if you enjoyed Australia the last time you were there why not consider a Work Holiday Visa? Get to know the country, learn to surf (maybe), enjoy Australia and meet new people. You can inform you ex-girlfriend that you will travel Australia for a bit and that you would love to meet up if she feels comfortable with that. If she says no, well, you'll still have a great trip, right? You may even like it so much that you want to stay there afterwards .

Missing people: I skype with my dad every week and use Skype credits to call my mom on the land-line. We also keep a private blog and our families say that they know more about our life now than when we lived in another city in Austria. Also, 8 months will fly by super fast, especially if you want to travel around as well.

Cheerio,
Monika

I think this is spot-on advice. Leave the girl alone as she has asked you to & go use the time you've given yourself to broaden your horizons. Have some fun!
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Old 28th June 2013, 10:57 AM
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Well my idea and thoughts may sound a little different as we do not live your culture and do not often think the way Europeans or Australians would do when comes to social or relationship situations.

How is her parents ? I mean are they in physically uncompromising position and needs constant look after ? If that's the case and she has no one besides her, it'll be very difficult for her to make the trip with you. If that's the case, how are your parents ? Are they OK without you being around constantly? if that so, get in touch with her .. leave these smsss and email stuffs off, take her to some nice and quite place and explain that you are willing to make the move to Australia ONLY if she is 100% sure in her mind that you are her man for life. If she agrees (instantly or after some thought of few days), move up to AU, you can bring your parents with you later on as well... The point is, if both of you are sure about each other, you'll enjoy Australia no matter what and things will surely click.....

Now, if you see that her parents are independent and she actually CAN move to Sweden without much difficulty as her parents got others around to look after them AND your parents are the ones who needs assistance and constant caring AND she decided to turn you down even after you had explained her everything .... Leave Her ... She isn't your woman after all, it'll be hard for you but memories Will fade.

NOW, if both of your (u and ur GF) parents are alright and independent and none actually requires constant attention ... it is your responsibility to make the move to Australia AND just make sure, FACE to FACE, whether she will stand beside you or not... If she does, go to Australia ...

Hope I made some kind of sense ...

Dont give voice to what each and every of your friends\relative say, try from your angle first everything that you can do, if no favours are returned despite ... then u know its time to move on.

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