Moving to Australia! Have i done right choice?? This is eating me alive :S - Page 2

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Moving to Australia! Have i done right choice?? This is eating me alive :S - Page 2


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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 28th June 2013, 11:09 AM
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Originally Posted by dexter_theboygenius View Post
Hello Noq,

Love is a beautiful feeling. Don't give up till you know you have given it your all. You never know, things could change for the better once you are at her doorstep with a bunch of flowers!

All the best buddy!
Thank you. i don't wanna give this up but if she does then i can't do a thing here

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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 28th June 2013, 11:11 AM
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Well, she must have got cold feet when you finally decided to make the big move..Take a month or so off go there, talk stay, reconcile, look beyond what she says (trust me women say something and do something)...And then decide whether "she" is worth all of it..
I don't think she got cold feet but she just got tired of me not deciding what to do and once i decided to go there for 8 months she bails out because she thinks that even then i wouldnt make up my mind, which i think is wrong.

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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 28th June 2013, 11:18 AM
noq noq is offline
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Hi noq,

try to decouple your decision from your ex-girlfriend and do something that makes YOU happy. I have a couple of friends who went on round-the-world trips in their late 20s and they all gained so much from the experience. You wrote that you don't enjoy the weather and the people in Sweden. Well, maybe it's time for a change of scenery . You just got 8 months off from work. What do you want to do? Don't narrow it down to just Australia, think about what else you could do with that time and then make a choice.

You try to balance what makes you happy and what makes your partner happy in a relationship. But to be happy in a relationship you have to first love yourself and be content and secure with yourself. She said that you should delete her number. That's not a very hopeful sign, honestly. My suggestion: Leave the girl alone for a while. But if you enjoyed Australia the last time you were there why not consider a Get to know the country, learn to surf (maybe), enjoy Australia and meet new people. You can inform you ex-girlfriend that you will travel Australia for a bit and that you would love to meet up if she feels comfortable with that. If she says no, well, you'll still have a great trip, right? You may even like it so much that you want to stay there afterwards .

Missing people: I skype with my dad every week and use Skype credits to call my mom on the land-line. We also keep a private blog and our families say that they know more about our life now than when we lived in another city in Austria. Also, 8 months will fly by super fast, especially if you want to travel around as well.

Cheerio,
Monika
Hi Monika,

Yes i got 8 moths off but i cant go out and travel just. I must work because bills needs to be paied. Thats why i applied for working visa in australia. But i can't come down now because it would be just to strange to be there and knowing she is around the corner and we are not together.

Yes i've was thinking through this and realized that contact can always be kept close with the family..
It's sooo stupid to realize things when it's too late.

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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 28th June 2013, 11:25 AM
noq noq is offline
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Well my idea and thoughts may sound a little different as we do not live your culture and do not often think the way Europeans or Australians would do when comes to social or relationship situations.

How is her parents ? I mean are they in physically uncompromising position and needs constant look after ? If that's the case and she has no one besides her, it'll be very difficult for her to make the trip with you. If that's the case, how are your parents ? Are they OK without you being around constantly? if that so, get in touch with her .. leave these smsss and email stuffs off, take her to some nice and quite place and explain that you are willing to make the move to Australia ONLY if she is 100% sure in her mind that you are her man for life. If she agrees (instantly or after some thought of few days), move up to AU, you can bring your parents with you later on as well... The point is, if both of you are sure about each other, you'll enjoy Australia no matter what and things will surely click.....

Now, if you see that her parents are independent and she actually CAN move to Sweden without much difficulty as her parents got others around to look after them AND your parents are the ones who needs assistance and constant caring AND she decided to turn you down even after you had explained her everything .... Leave Her ... She isn't your woman after all, it'll be hard for you but memories Will fade.

NOW, if both of your (u and ur GF) parents are alright and independent and none actually requires constant attention ... it is your responsibility to make the move to Australia AND just make sure, FACE to FACE, whether she will stand beside you or not... If she does, go to Australia ...

Hope I made some kind of sense ...

Dont give voice to what each and every of your friends\relative say, try from your angle first everything that you can do, if no favours are returned despite ... then u know its time to move on.
I like this post.
Her parents don't need constant look however her father is suffering that something is going to happen to his family all the time so she says if she left that would kill him. When we were in thailand she had to notify him every day that everything was ok with her.

Yes my parents are okej that im away contantly.
Sometimes i dont visit them for a month.
U know what affraids me here, if she already could say not to call her and just drop me could she easily do this while iīm there? Then there is no return back if u get kids.

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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 28th June 2013, 11:35 AM
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I can't comment on life in Australia because people tend to like different things, but I can relate to that because my ex was Australian as well, and we kind of faced the same thing.

To be brutally honest, if she's not willing to move with you, then she just doesn't love you enough.

Maybe all you need is some time off, and some travelling. How about travelling across Europe? Did you try to find jobs elsewhere in Europe? This way you will be closer to your parents.

I know what it's like to hate the weather (and the people), but sometimes when we travel our perspective change and we realize that it wasn't that bad to begin with
This is also what i was thinking. I'm ready to give up everything, work, friends, apartment, sweden but happy about that part, family and move the australia but she doesnt wanna move anywhere else. Is it to much give up from me and nonthing from her side?

So true when u travel and see other things then u maybe realize how good you had it at home.

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Old 28th June 2013, 11:46 AM
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Hi Noq,

How old are you man ! Do you mind. Why I ask this because you will have totally different feeling about love at different ages. Now you may feel so emotional and confused and even decided to quit everything for love. Along the time will find that girls that truly love you will follow you wherever you go thats her instinct. Otherwise she is calculating the best ROI so even you go there with all risks and all of the sudden she wants more ? Love turn sour and you lose everything.

Its very likely that if she archive what she wants once, she will keep doing that. On the top of that Sweden has the most beautiful blond girls in the world ? why bother Ozzi
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Old 28th June 2013, 12:27 PM
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* Do you regret your move to australia?

I came here with the plan to change my life, I was living in England for couple of years before but I wasn't really happy there, had a monday-friday boring office job and got stuck in the same daily routine for too long..
Looks like you might be in a similar situation except that probably your job in Sweden gives you more satisfaction than my english job..
So I would say It was probably one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life, something like a fresh start for me, it's never too late for big changes but remember one thing mate - you need to have a plan for yourself because for us Europeans it's really big commitment due to the distance between Europe and Australia. So girlfriend situation is a one thing especially she already lives here, think about what are you going to do here because it's going to harder for you, not for her.

* What do you not like about australia?

Distance, Certificates for every stupid thing, prices of electronics, lack of some products on the market (when some product arrives it's all over the place in every shop lol)

* Should i just call and tell i'm comming, would i reg?

You're the one who should make a hard call like this, don't overthink this. Obviously it's good to talk and whoever suggested you coming on a Working Holiday visa first before permanent move gave you a preety good advice imo.

* You who live there do you get homesick often?

I don't get homesick anymore, however it's hard to make time to go home, first time I managed to go home was after 3 years living here, I managed to book a Christmas trip to Poland last year which was awesome

* Has anyone of you been is situation like this decided to mvoe and then relationship ended, what did you do then?

I had a few long distance relationships with foreign girls before but never ended up with mine or her decision to move to some designated country.

* Why do people choose move back home from australia?

I'll answer that question when/if that ever happen

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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 28th June 2013, 12:57 PM
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Slightly OT, but I guess NOQ English is not your first language.
To be honest there are too many mistakes in your posts.
Are you posting via Smartphone?

Sorry but cannot really comment on love angle. Not much of an expert there.

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  #19 (permalink)  
Old 28th June 2013, 01:59 PM
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Noq, you poor guy - I am so sorry that she broke up with you. You know how the saying goes: The worst feeling in life is to be in love and not have your love returned.

I knew someone else who went through a similar experience - He met an Australian woman on a European tour, and after having traveled together throughout Europe they both fell in love. They were a couple for a while - more like a cyber and phone couple - but mailing packages back and forth to each other during Christmas and birthdays. People warned him that falling in love while on a tour is not real love, that circumstances are different, etc.

Anyway, after a while, she started to avoid him - you know, like that feeling you get when someone starts to lose interest?

She finally unfriended him from facebook (which really did him in) and when he tried to call her, she wouldn't answer. One day, at an odd time of the day, he was able to get a hold of her and after a long conversation, she casually told him that she's sorry but that she had gone back to her old boyfriend!

Poor guy was devastated and moping around in wretched pain for a good long time - not being able to jump on the next plane out.

Anyway, here's a small suggestion. If you're interested in living there (or anywhere else for that matter), go ahead and apply for your own visa - try it out. Never depend on anyone you don't need to depend on. It sounds like you're young enough - so if you don't like it in Oz, you can always try somewhere else or simply go back home. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 28th June 2013, 06:14 PM
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Wow being in love and not getting it in return from the same person sucks

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