Originally Posted by pigeonpete
It is wise to know what her exspectations are after you get married. You will be expected to look after her family in the philippines and may be asked to also help family members to also join you in england, Most philippino families are expected to all help each other, it is not easy being married to a girl from another country, the cultures are different. I speak from experience. I do wish you all the best.
Yep, those can be true words or no. Really depends on your partners views, your views and striking an agreed balance from very early in the relationship, be a hard ass like me, we do help mum and dad but to a limit set 5 years ago, we have helped others as well but not for years.
We were back with family visiting for a month recently, staying in our own accommodation as their house is too small. The day we arrived the first thing discussed and brochures produced on A/C units, this one is 40K that one is 34K,,,,,,,, and? Well as we are getting older we are feeling the heat, yep sure I understand that but I pointed out to them that installing an A/C unit also costs money to run, say 1K per month, can you afford that? Never heard boo after that.
Today Ben and I were talking about businesses in PH. He mentioned that his mother had asked him a few times, son why are you not buying tricycles and licenses and contract them out? The figures look good, about 15% return and still holding the bulk capitol for the license. He simply told his mum that yes while we make good money in Oz it is also very expensive to live there and we don't have that kind of money to risk when we are not there in control. The family knows we have a few dollars but also now understand that we are not stupid and wish to maintain our lifestyle when we move to PH. and realise now that we are not the cash cow. One just has to draw the line/set the boundaries that you are both comfortable with and don't waver.
Building a trusting and loving relationship takes time, lots of patience on both sides and the willingness to be humble when needed but also strong are prerequisites to say the least. Trust and honesty first or you will sabotage any chance of life long partnership.
Sorry for the rant and hope it's not really off topic.