Any hidden dangers in personal r/ships in thailand?

Gulfer · #1 (**permalink**) 3rd July 2008, 08:15 AM

hi everybody.

i am a new here. expat. retiree.
i've had a thai girl friend for 7 months, a few nights week, she works in an office.
lately i am finding it hard to believe some of her stories.
is this a cultural difference or is there a possibility i am being targeted for something.
i dont want to end the r/ship, nor get burnt either.

are there any common patterns that anyone out there may advise me of. is it possible i am being used, but i dont take her round on holidays or for dinners...still settling in here

also are my assets here at risk thru any defacto break up laws or any other laws in thailand, even tho she dos not live me nor use my address for recieving mail (a western trick).

thanks in advance for any advice u may have for me.

oddball · #2 (**permalink**) 3rd July 2008, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gulfer

hi everybody.

i am a new here. expat. retiree.
i've had a thai girl friend for 7 months, a few nights week, she works in an office.
lately i am finding it hard to believe some of her stories.
is this a cultural difference or is there a possibility i am being targeted for something.
i dont want to end the r/ship, nor get burnt either.

are there any common patterns that anyone out there may advise me of. is it possible i am being used, but i dont take her round on holidays or for dinners...still settling in here

also are my assets here at risk thru any defacto break up laws or any other laws in thailand, even tho she dos not live me nor use my address for recieving mail (a western trick).

thanks in advance for any advice u may have for me.

Ah well,Gulfer,join the crowd !!!!
There are all kinds of situations you can get yourself into with a Thai female,good,bad and worserer(Thai trick). You are a retiree and she is(?)young and beautifull(?). Ask yourself why she would pick an (hahem) older gentlman to spend time with and only a few nights(?) a week,Tricky(?) question . Who,What,Where,How and when did you meet her? In church,at a wedding,walking down the street or in a bar? Add it all up,take twenty steps backwards and re-assess the situation(predicament) you find your self in,you obviously have doubts. Colin .

rjnpenang · #3 (**permalink**) 3rd July 2008, 07:39 PM

There are plenty of nice women in Thailand but don´t forget they all need to work and support their families, try taking some of them out for a meal once a week, and when they look at that bulge in your trousers its the wallet thats the priority.

oddball · #4 (**permalink**) 6th July 2008, 07:44 AM

No response from the OP , just curious or genuinely concerned , just curious . Colin .

Gulfer · #5 (**permalink**) 7th July 2008, 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oddball

No response from the OP , just curious or genuinely concerned , just curious . Colin .

thanks for replies (3), advice + concern. the case has nothing to do with bar "chance" meeting, her being 'young&beautiful' or the 'bulge' in my pocket. she's over 50, i'm over 60 with 15 years diff. she has an appt&job in another province and family commitment she can't leave. i understand and respect this. hence seeing only weekends on my grounds. on the other hand i'm never invited to her's. this seems fishy to me? or is it? my concerns are,-
am i 'the man' in her life or a vent for some dissatisfaction?
could she possibly acquire the legal power over my assets?
(i surely don't want one more divorce or settlement in this life or after!)
does thai legal system recognise de-facto relationships? etc,etc...

i've heard heaps of horror stories here. but these facts of life are not endemic to thailand only. i'm sure we all saw not less horrors in the west...

synthia · #6 (**permalink**) 7th July 2008, 03:51 AM

Judging from stories I've heard from women who have been abandoned by Western men, I don't think she can get any control of anything you have unless you marry or sign things over to her.

oddball · #7 (**permalink**) 7th July 2008, 04:36 PM

It is easier to appreciate your relationship now you have clarified a few points , however , i too would be a litle suspicious of not beng invited to her area . There is sometimes a sort of stygma attached to a Thai lady dating a farang unless she shows a monetary gain from 'The rich boyfriend' , they are often pestered to find out why they are not wearing more gold etc , this can be ignored , so perhaps you have not been mentioned localy as of yet . There is of course the other trait common amongst some Thai ladies of having a 'Brother ' lurking in the background , even at around 50 years of age . Colin .

steed · #8 (**permalink**) 1st August 2008, 10:16 AM

Hey I'm new to this forum but unfortunately not new to this question. At least the OP hasn't got himself mixed up in a relationship with a girl half his age. This is a very very common thing here. The old guy gets a beautiful young thing & can't believe his luck !! well it soon turns sad. However, she's 50 so has maybe a different agenda than ripping the OP off for every baht she can get. Consider she's already married or in a relationship. I think this is the most likely scenario i'm afraid. I hope I'm wrong !!

Gulfer · #9 (**permalink**) 7th August 2008, 06:47 AM

I'm really baffled. It's nearly a year, she travels to my place every weekend from her province. Yet, when I say I want to go to her town,- she suggests I go to a hotel. At her work everybody knows she is with me. Her kids know too. Maybe she is married to her job? Even this doesn't explain why I have to go to a hotel!... I'm really baffled...and pissed-off. Any other ideas?

synthia · #10 (**permalink**) 7th August 2008, 07:35 AM

So it isn't that she doesn't want you to visit her, but that she wants you to stay in a hotel? Does she perhaps live with her mother? Or have relatives that would not approve of your staying at her place? If she has older relatives she might not want to show disrespect or cause a bit stir by having you stay with her.