taking the plunge

[Serendipity2]

Originally Posted by frogblogger

National laws vary a little between EU countries, but other than marrying a Thai has either to prove considerable financial resources (for a Thai) to be able to travel to the EU for tourism purposes, or has to find a guarantor that will undertake to pay all costs involved (and has to prove his financial worth at the same time to the authorities concerned). So these two don't involve marriage.

You call it a fairy tale - yes she probably either got married first, or had some guy undertake to pay all the considerable costs for her trip over, perhaps with a view to marriage at some point... then maybe things started to go badly.

Who knows - the only certainty is that you're being strung along... there are plenty of girls with considerable expertise in this area!

As suggested before, my advice would be to look elsewhere, you're on a hiding to nothing wiith this one, imho. Relationships involve a lot of things other than 'love', but this one seems to be an entirely financial calculation on her side from what you've said so far.

frogblogger,

Men would be far better off with a one year renewable contract of marriage. Think about what 'we' men now have - a contract with an indefinite end date where pretty much we are at a disadvantage. The rub is that often children are involved in broken marriages but leaving THAT aside [at least for the point of this illustration] imagine we married for one year and that at the end of that one year we could a. pack it in or b. renew the contract. During that year we would be responsible financially for the care and support of the dearly beloved and she, in turn, would remain faithful. Perhaps make SURE that there is no procreating during that first year and subsequent extensions of said contract. During that year the faithful bride would haul our coals, cook our meals and give us all the love and affection you and I deserve. All contracts of marriage would be renegotiated, provided both parties desired to extend said contract but contract negotiations would not begin until the after the 11th month of the current contract. If one or both parties decided to sever their marriage after the 12th month each would be free to go their own way. If they decided, mutually, to renew their vows each would be free to negotiate, in advance, the conditions of that new one year contract. If one or both fail to arrive at a satisfactory arrangement then either party could leave or, if they continued to remain, would be bound by the previous contractual arrangement provided the other party was also agreeable.

Now wouldn't that make a LOT more sense than having a contract without a date certain as the end date. Unless you're one of those dreamers who believe in the fantasy, "unto death do us part" . The fly in the ointment is, of course, children and a divorce is FAR more devastating on them than on either of the adults.

Serendipity2

[Fontane]

Originally Posted by Serendipity2

Gerg,

It may sound trite but true [compliments of that poetic genius Alfred Lord Tennyson]

'I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

There are many others who I'm sure would love to replace her in your heart - go find one!

Serendipity2

Hi Serendipity,
Very well put and nice touch with the poetry for a fellow that is probably a true romantic himself.
The best way to mend a broken heart is to find love again and that definately comes from a master .......Mr Tennyson.......

[Fontane]

Originally Posted by Serendipity2

Gerg,

It may sound trite but true [compliments of that poetic genius Alfred Lord Tennyson]

'I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

There are many others who I'm sure would love to replace her in your heart - go find one!

Serendipity2

Hi Serendipity,
Very well put and nice touch with the poetry for a fellow that is probably a true romantic himself.
The best way to mend a broken heart is to find love again and that would like you said not be difficult in the LOS......

[happy bunny]

Originally Posted by gerg

Some of you will remember me- I'm the man who loved a Thai lady and wanted to move to LOS for love. My lady went to Denmark to work a little because she knew a lady from Thailand married to a Dane and she could work a little before she came back to Thailand to me. I went back to Australia to sort out some arrangements before making the final move to LOS. The plan was to have 2 houses-1 in Aust and 1 in Thailand. Now I find out from a friend in Thailand that she is married in Denmark. When I go back through the emails and how much she misses me etc I realise why I cannot call her and why she does not want to email me except ocassionally when she is unsure about what she is doing. Despite the anger and frustration I think I now realise that my lady had 2 men on the string. Me and him and she decides to marry in Denmark. The fog is lifting slowly and I think I can now see through it. Me or him. Anyway, she has decided to stay in Denmark and will obviously get very cold. Like many Isaan ladies with no money and little security, the opportunity to marry a farang is appealing. I wonder how many do this and the man does not understand Thailand, the fact that the lady wants to come back to see her family often etc etc. Am I just another poor sucker who falls under the spell and looking for another life only to realise too late that I have been taken for a good ride . Any comments appreciated.

One how was she to know that you were genuine and not just playing with her, two go get a new one there is no shortage, three - he who hesitates is lost.

[gerg]

To everybody and happy bunny,
Yes you are all correct- I will probably never know!!. Anyway, havn't burnt too many bridges, havn't lost the loot that I could not afford, learnt a lot but still wish I had moved earlier in the situation. That's life I guess. Still wondering what to do. Thank you all for your various inputs.