LOS or Land of Jokes? Is this country for Real?

[Serendipity2]

Originally Posted by Andrew Hicks

You just have to learn to go with the flow, as I said when I wrote the book about 'my Thai girl and I'.

Thailand is like nowhere else. Smile or die!

Andrew Hicks

Hi Andrew,

I just finished reading your book "My Thai Girl and I". An excellent read - I recommend it highly to anyone thinking about moving to and marrying a Thai. For most of us it's the antithesis of what we know and how we function. A couple of questions though..

If you didn't make regular visits to Old Blighty would you be able to make Thailand your permanent residence? How do you cope with the lack of intellectual stimulation - especially out in the middle of Issan? I would guess writing occupies a fair bit of your time [and making sure the wife doesn't bankrupt you with the 'next' project!] but don't you find the lack a bit challenging? Or am I missing something! I could understand the "Go with the flow" mindset if you had a modest education and were a essentially a non-achiever but you seem at the other end of that spectrum. Thanks in advance for your comments and welcome to the forum.

Serendipity2

[Serendipity2]

Originally Posted by Andrew Hicks

You just have to learn to go with the flow, as I said when I wrote the book about 'my Thai girl and I'.

Thailand is like nowhere else. Smile or die!

Andrew Hicks

Andrew,

I just finished your book recently. An excellent book, "My Thai Girl and I" and I recommend it highly to anyone thinking about marrying and living in Thailand.

A couple of questions - do you think your periodic trips to Old Blighty help you survive in Issan, Thailand given the cultures are what I would call diametrically opposite one another? What do you do for intellectual stimulation? I'm guessing you continue writing but that can only provide a modest outlet and since the two cultures are so vastly different. I posted a similar message earlier but it seemed to have been swallowed up by the vastness of the Internet.

Serendipity2

[Serendipity2]

Originally Posted by Serendipity2

Andrew,

I just finished your book recently. An excellent book, "My Thai Girl and I" and I recommend it highly to anyone thinking about marrying and living in Thailand.

A couple of questions - do you think your periodic trips to Old Blighty help you survive in Issan, Thailand given the cultures are what I would call diametrically opposite one another? What do you do for intellectual stimulation? I'm guessing you continue writing but that can only provide a modest outlet and since the two cultures are so vastly different. I posted a similar message earlier but it seemed to have been swallowed up by the vastness of the Internet.

Serendipity2

Naturally, I don't see my post of this morning SO I write another and.... Voila, my first post appears. Of course I can't delete the dang thing - that would be too easy! Sorry all

[Andrew Hicks]

Originally Posted by Serendipity2

Hi Andrew,

I just finished reading your book "My Thai Girl and I". An excellent read - I recommend it highly to anyone thinking about moving to and marrying a Thai. For most of us it's the antithesis of what we know and how we function. A couple of questions though..

If you didn't make regular visits to Old Blighty would you be able to make Thailand your permanent residence? How do you cope with the lack of intellectual stimulation - especially out in the middle of Issan? I would guess writing occupies a fair bit of your time [and making sure the wife doesn't bankrupt you with the 'next' project!] but don't you find the lack a bit challenging? Or am I missing something! I could understand the "Go with the flow" mindset if you had a modest education and were a essentially a non-achiever but you seem at the other end of that spectrum. Thanks in advance for your comments and welcome to the forum.

Serendipity2

Thanks, Serendip, for your nice comments about "My Thai Girl and I" and yes, I think you've hit the nail on the head.

Living in a small Isaan village, there is no real answer to the problem of cultural isolation except to find stimulus in books, the internet and of course forums like this one!

Taking an interest in the place and writing about it has been my saviour but on the last page of the book I ask myself how I'm going to fill my time now the last page is written.

My other outlet is writing my blog at Thai Girl which combines my pleasure in writing with photography. We've been helping the local school and have raised money to build them a chicken house with eighty chickens and that's been time consuming and rewarding. (I hesitate to do it myself, but if you'd like to post the latest blog article on the chickens to this Forum, I'd be delighted.)

Then the other semi-solution is as you suggest, not to stay here in the village too long at a stretch. A trip to Bangkok to deal with book business or to UK to see family is essential as I'm pretty short on local farang friends.

I suppose one of the themes of the book is dealing with isolation, both cultural and intellectual, and of course there's no easy answer to the problem, as you so rightly suggest.

And a final point... I mention cultural isolation because I wouldn't suggest that the problem is being surrounded by my intellectual inferiors. I've just had more opportunities than my Thai family have had. My wife Cat I feel could have been a great lawyer for example. Her negotiating skills are formidable! And she is literate in two language systems and speaks four languages so in many respects she's ahead of me.

But of course for cultural and linguistic reasons we cannot always fully relate to each other.

So life goes on!

I'm thinking of a trip to Bangkok!

Andrew Hicks

[frogblogger]

Interesting S2, Andrew.

As the years go by, I find intellect rather overrated - particularly after the experience of living amongst those who consider other qualities to be of greater value.

As Andrew suggests, there are many resources available to satisfy intellectual curiosity, not least the internet, and these provide ample stimulus as far as I am concerned. Andrew has hit the nail on the head - cultural isolation can be disturbing over longer periods of time, although this varies from individual to individual. I mostly find it rather refreshing, nowadays, having developed rather an aversion to certain Western ideals!

When an early teenager I read a work by Hesse, one of the books that has particularly influenced my thinking - Siddhartha. I mention this because the 'hero' spent a major part of his life looking for 'truth', through religion, intellectual pursuits, abstinence, self-indulgence... none could satisfy him; no sooner had he found an answer, when the doubts began to surface once again. Then, finally, on the point of despair, he meets the ferryman - an uneducated, simple man, yet truly contented - the embodiment of wisdom. There is a Buddhist saying, sorry for the approximation... when the student is ready, the teacher appears...

If it's a choice of wisdom v. the intellect, I've come across a great deal more of the former in the East as opposed to the West! It's rooted in the Hindu/Buddhist philosophies of acceptance and karma as opposed to monotheism's punishment and obedience. For me, Western culture has a lot to learn from the East, and experiencing this is well worth so-called intellectual isolation.

Of course there is much wrong with certain aspects of Thai life too, but I certainly prefer the fundamentals on this side of the world

[Andrew Hicks]

I agree, Frogbloggeur that the oriental ferryman and rice farmer have so much to teach us frantic Westerners about finding a proper balance in life.

Even so, it is hard to throw off the conditioning and habits of a lifetime, leave one's accustomed world and become a hermit. I could never be a Buddhist monk and so while what you say is right, it is impossible for me to change my spots.

When my village feels too small, there's really nowhere for me to escape to which is a problem.

So should I continue striving and write another book?

Andrew

[frogblogger]

Personally I don't see striving, and fighting one's fate, as one and the same... the message from Hesse's ferryman was that the latter is pointless, while productive engagement, even when it doesn't produce the preferred results, is 'the Middle Way'. Accepting the flow of events, both positive and negative, is key to finding that balance according to Buddhism.

It's a common misconception that Buddhism equates to some kind of disengagement with life - quite the contrary, I reckon. So pick up that pen (or boot up that laptop)

[Serendipity2]

Originally Posted by frogblogger

Interesting S2, Andrew.

As the years go by, I find intellect rather overrated - particularly after the experience of living amongst those who consider other qualities to be of greater value.

As Andrew suggests, there are many resources available to satisfy intellectual curiosity, not least the internet, and these provide ample stimulus as far as I am concerned. Andrew has hit the nail on the head - cultural isolation can be disturbing over longer periods of time, although this varies from individual to individual. I mostly find it rather refreshing, nowadays, having developed rather an aversion to certain Western ideals!

When an early teenager I read a work by Hesse, one of the books that has particularly influenced my thinking - Siddhartha. I mention this because the 'hero' spent a major part of his life looking for 'truth', through religion, intellectual pursuits, abstinence, self-indulgence... none could satisfy him; no sooner had he found an answer, when the doubts began to surface once again. Then, finally, on the point of despair, he meets the ferryman - an uneducated, simple man, yet truly contented - the embodiment of wisdom. There is a Buddhist saying, sorry for the approximation... when the student is ready, the teacher appears...

If it's a choice of wisdom v. the intellect, I've come across a great deal more of the former in the East as opposed to the West! It's rooted in the Hindu/Buddhist philosophies of acceptance and karma as opposed to monotheism's punishment and obedience. For me, Western culture has a lot to learn from the East, and experiencing this is well worth so-called intellectual isolation.

Of course there is much wrong with certain aspects of Thai life too, but I certainly prefer the fundamentals on this side of the world

frogblogger,

What I meant to convey was a bit different.

You grew up in England and whether in the city of the country you're accustomed to a huge amount of stimuli from radio, television, personal conversations. You also see the printed word, billboards etc. It's everywhere - BUT it's in your language and you understand it. Whatever the pace, you adapt and can integrate that information, process it and act accordingly. Or not act. That isn't true if you are a westerner living in a foreign land where you don't read, write and speak the language fluently. Nor would it be true of a Thai transplanted to the west. It must be very difficult for a young woman [usually] to leave her home and homeland and move to a foreign country without a social network to rely on.

Even if you were pretty fluent you will miss the many subtleties of communication but to miss almost ALL is what I was trying to convey. Sure, you might be happy and think you don't miss much but simple things become important - like the evening news in English or an English newspaper or a conversations with another English speaking person.

Whether we are Thai or English or American each of us knows the rhythm of our home country and we do not know that of our adopted country. We can get by and probably even be happy but the environment we grew up knowing is totally different from that of Thailand no matter how nice the smiles or how genial the people. It has nothing to do with intelligence.

Serendipity2

[Andrew Hicks]

So my fate must be to eternally write books?

Irresistable!

Andrew

[Jezz]

It's really all been said. I'm here because as a 65 year old pensioner, it's a far better option to have a lovely Thai GF take care of me, living a very simple life in the village, making my pension stretch each month. I don't need the cities and bright lights anymore - couldn't afford to do anything there anyway! But hey! It's freedom of choice. Can't imagine going home, alone, no home, the council sticking me in some lousy, cold place.... no thanks!