Married to a Thai Woman

[frogblogger]

Originally Posted by Serendipity2

Better, at my age, to rent my pleasures by the hour. OK, by the minute then!

By the minute? You stand to earn a fortune! How much are you going to charge the ladies?

[Serendipity2]

Originally Posted by King Silk

That makes sensible S2. As usual....... Sorry you've got 'the Clap' old bean.

Silk,

Which makes sense - renting 'love' by the hour or the fact MY dogs would run off to YOU in Pattaya? Actually, upon reflection, BOTH make good sense! Smart dogs!

As for marriage, I would rather be a voyeur to someone else's train wreck but that's the sober, sensible "me" talking now. Amazing when the fairer sex gives one that "come hither" look, our knees buckle, our otherwise perfectly good brains turn to mush and the next they you know we're eagerly traipsing down the aisle to the strains of "Here Comes The Bride"! It ain't fair.

Serendipity2

[King Silk]

Originally Posted by Serendipity2

Silk,

Which makes sense - renting 'love' by the hour or the fact MY dogs would run off to YOU in Pattaya? Actually, upon reflection, BOTH make good sense! Smart dogs!

As for marriage, I would rather be a voyeur to someone else's train wreck but that's the sober, sensible "me" talking now. Amazing when the fairer sex gives one that "come hither" look, our knees buckle, our otherwise perfectly good brains turn to mush and the next they you know we're eagerly traipsing down the aisle to the strains of "Here Comes The Bride"! It ain't fair.

Serendipity2

Good thinking S2....But with respect they do not play "Here comes the Bride".
They sing "Here comes the ATM!"........

[Serendipity2]

Originally Posted by King Silk

Good thinking S2....But with respect they do not play "Here comes the Bride".
They sing "Here comes the ATM!"........

Silk,

Only if we let them! I agree with frogblogger that there is a vast difference in cultures between western and Asian families. In the latter everyone seems to chip in to help the collective family succeed. That's not as common in western families - well, at least American families. That said, no one wants to be treated like an ATM card.

[King Silk]

Originally Posted by Serendipity2

Silk,

Only if we let them! I agree with frogblogger that there is a vast difference in cultures between western and Asian families. In the latter everyone seems to chip in to help the collective family succeed. That's not as common in western families - well, at least American families. That said, no one wants to be treated like an ATM card.

But we are Sonny Jim. WE ARE, whether we like it or NOT!

Thais regard us, in the main, as either 'Stupid Farangs' - The ones they can get loads of money from, or 'Cheap Charlies' - the ones whom they can't get loads of money from!

As this is relevant to married life, I guess it IS on Topic.....Yeah.

[Serendipity2]

Originally Posted by King Silk

[/B]

But we are Sonny Jim. WE ARE, whether we like it or NOT!

Thais regard us, in the main, as either 'Stupid Farangs' - The ones they can get loads of money from, or 'Cheap Charlies' - the ones whom they can't get loads of money from!

As this is relevant to married life, I guess it IS on Topic.....Yeah.

Silk,

Aside from a handful of people you associate with do you really care? I do think it reasonable to help a family I'm marrying into but if they're too greedy or I can't swing it then probably no marriage. It's just not that big a deal and you should know or find out fast. If you have a long discussion with your lady and she understands what you can or will do - and she accepts it - then that's over and done with. If her family pester her/you for more you politely tell them that was not the agreement. Nothing is free but remember, "Happy wife, happy life". Again, why would you care what most Thai's think? Frankly most Thais I'll not be involved with and those I am it's up to me to make sure I'm not being cheated or otherwise abused. Sure, if you let yourself be used you will be used. Let them know up front you're willing to help or do business with them but do your due diligence first.

Serendipity2

[frogblogger]

Silk. Are you seriously saying that the greater part of the female Thai population (from professionals to farmers to university teachers to shop workers, whatever, has the attitude towards foreigners you claim? And if so, on the strength of what data/experience do you base this?

It wouldn't be on the strength of a survey of 'Pattaya Man' drinking buddies, by any chance?

[Dumbo]

Hmmm, Things seem to be getting a bit off track at times. It would be good to hear more about the positive and successful marriages to Thai women. Life can be negitive without adding to it. But then again life is what you make it.

[frogblogger]

Hi Dumbo. There are a lot of people out there with great relationships, while not playing down the influence of cultural differences between East and West. Bottom line - one should take a good hard and honest look at oneself and decide how gullible one is, adaptable, flexible... because in the final analysis it's not the country, the culture that is going to make or break a relationship - even though it will play a part in deciding things. It's down to each individual to make it work, and no amount of reading about good or bad relationships will change that Plus you need a certain amount of luck happening on the right person! Whatever you do, don't rush into anything. The first six months or so, on one's own in a strange culture/country, is when we're most vulnerable... it can be a steep learning curve

[KhwaamLap]

Originally Posted by Dumbo

Hmmm, Things seem to be getting a bit off track at times. It would be good to hear more about the positive and successful marriages to Thai women. Life can be negitive without adding to it. But then again life is what you make it.

Hi,

well, I am married to a Thai lass and have been for over a decade now. She came from a good family, is well educated (same level as me), is seven years my junior and the mother of our two girls. We have had our ups and downs like any married couple, but we have a good marriage. We are both faithful to each other and there is a lot of love in our little family. She works too and her money and mine both go towards the bills and kids (though she has more shoes, hangbags and dresses than Emelda Marcos!).

I think there are several important things to a healthy marriage with a Thai girl. The farang has to be careful with being misconstrued; Thai is a tonal language and they hear the tone more than the words, so an angry tone of voice (being short) can sound like 'F-You'. Facial expressions is also often misread. Turning your nose up when offered a cup of tea may mean 'nah cheers' to another farang, but can be interpreted as disgust or even anger at the offer. It took me a long time to work this out and retrain myself, and I still make mistakes. Thai women want faithful men - and like to be made to feel attractive and important to their man (any different from a farang lady???) - the old 'does my bum look big in this' may not be asked, but a million alternative questions will - I guarantee it. I also find that due to the face thing, they find sorry hard to say, but are happy to allow make-up (and then show they are sorry) - this may seem trivial, but it can be a real source of arguements expecting a verbal appology that just isn't going to happen without loss of face.

I still love my wife and she still loves me - and we both love the kids. Mixed marriages can and do work, they just take a bit more give and take that's all.

Good luck.