Questions regarding moving to Thailand

Originally Posted by stogiebear

Well, that sure told me!

told you what that you sleep in your own ****

[Serendipity2]

(QUOTE DELETED BY MOD)


shahnameh,

I will offer you my best advice which you're free to accept or reject. You will not be happy in Thailand. I've also lived in New York. It's a great city. In my opinion the greatest. The key to success and happiness living in a foreign country is to accept their culture as yours. "When in Rome do as the Romans" is so very true and not just in Rome. Come to Thailand but come willing to embrace their culture - which is a heck of a lot older that yours or mine by the way but if you can't be gracious to them you will not be happy nor will you be welcome. It isn't about pleasing a bunch of expats on this forum but in respecting another culture. Those who thrive here do and they do not do so by trying to be superior. All that will get is some very hard knocks which will be delivered with relish by the Thais. Best of luck to you.

Serendipity2

[stogiebear]

Originally Posted by shahnameh

I do not judge anyone so I do not like to be judged...

If this is the case then definitely save yourself a lot of disappointment and stay at home.

Thailand is very much a 'style over substance' social structure. It doesn't matter how clever you are - if your tie is crooked then you may as well stay at home.

You WILL be judged on everything you do from how you dress and eat to what company you keep.

The results of these 'judgements' may not manifest themselves immediately but they will eventually and you will suffer as a result.

I'll give you an example... I have a friend who was a teacher at a nice school. He was enthusiastic and capable in the classroom. But he was passed over for promotion because... he was seen entering a girly bar! Eventually the cold shoulder proved too much for him and he quit.

Another friend of mine who also happened to be a teacher was asked by a student how much he drank...

He replied "About four beers a day!" When he got back from the class he was given his notice and told not to come back. The student had misunderstood the teacher and thought that he drank four beers during the day!

You will be judged on your color. Are you black? Forget it. Last week at the mall I saw a black guy go to a tailor to get a new garment altered to fit him... it was just the blank stare and eventually he gave uip and moved on.

If you are a smoker then forget the dating scene. Nice girls won't date smokers.

You're a big man not judging anyone, but in Thailand you are just dirty white trash... as am I.

The difference is that I can live with it. I don't think that you ever could.

Get over your divorce and think about starting a new life in more familiar surroundings before you swan off into a culture that you neither understand or are willing to tolerate.

And, incidentally, people in Thailand have cleaner bums that you Yanks. Even those of us who have non flushing loos! Let's face it - expats who have been here a while don't use paper anymore... or leaves!

It's water hoses all the way, right chaps?

[frogblogger]

Originally Posted by stogiebear

It's water hoses all the way, right chaps?

Spot on, stogiebear. And far more hygienic it is too!

[flemmie]

Just a timid hello from a Belgian ready to move to Bangkok (with my wife). Not the belgian from your story (thank god...).

I just wanted to say that I think you are all very patient with someone that has obviously no desire to adapt to the circumstances that he will come to. Kudo's for that.

I could not read his replies but the fact that they were deleted tells me enough.

Have a nice one!

[frogblogger]

Hi again flemmie - yes rule no. 1 here is "Be nice"! The forum's there so that people can help out, not insult each other...

And for anyone who's not sure what stogiebear was on about ref cleanliness of bums, even in the simplest of homes you find this:



... on which topic I once wrote:

When you visit Thailand for the first time, you may be surprised to find something that resembles a shower hose, complete with high pressure nozzle, attached to the wall of the bathroom, next to the toilet. You would be excused for wondering what purpose this could possibly serve.

The little lever or button is indeed for releasing a powerful jet of water, so should you be tempted to experiment as you meditate from a sitting down position, make sure to point the device at a distant wall (nearby targets tend to have a ricochet effect, and are likely to result in you emerging from your contemplations looking as if you forgot to get undressed before taking a shower). And it goes without saying that you shouldn't squeeze the lever while looking directly into the nozzle. The main purpose of this device is to avoid having to apply reams of toilet paper to the posterior, with potentially rather smelly, all-too-common consequences amongst Westerners. Used with skill - posterior showering sitting down takes some mastery, and to avoid embarrassment it is best practised within the safety of your hotel bathroom until you get the hang of it - it is a vast improvement on the toilet paper alternative. For obvious reasons it results in the sort of rear end cleanliness only rivalled by the French with their bidets.

A few tips for the uninitiated.

- In unfamiliar surroundings it may be worth first testing the water pressure with a quick single downwards burst into the toilet bowel. However, excessively powerful jets can have undesirable effects, so do so before spending a penny.

- Ensure you have the nozzle pointing in the right direction. Somewhere between an inch and a couple of inches is the correct firing range.

- Bear in mind that Thai plumbing often involves the routing of the cold water pipe through outside areas exposed to direct sunlight. During daylight hours therefore, be prepared to rapidly abort the operation, should the water temperature suddenly begins to climb. A maximum cold water temperature of boiling point is possible in these tropical climes.

- For the sake of those who may visit the bathroom after your departure, do try to avoid skin contact between nozzle and rear passage.

- Ok, here goes, fire.

- Please bear in mind that this is not the Thai version of an enema wash. Consequently a short burst of between five and ten seconds is usually ample, irrespective of any pleasure you might be experiencing.

- Ladies of course have the excuse to use this device rather more frequently than men. Whether your sex lives are wanting or not, and irrespective of whether the sensations involved are somewhat more exciting than those produced by earlier activities of an intimate nature with your partner, please bear in mind that a growing queue of desperate people may be waiting outside.

- Finally, the the disposal basket marked with words to the effect of "please place your used toilet paper in here and not in the bowel" is for the benefit of those who have used this implement to good effect, and not for those squeamish Anglo-Saxons who prefer the old-fashioned, if smelly way of cleaning the posterior.

Once you've got into the habit of using this device, you'll never want to go back to your old ways, believe me. You'll be looking around the local plumbing supply outlets for one to take home with you ... Have fun!

[flemmie]

Originally Posted by frogblogger

Hi again flemmie - yes rule no. 1 here is "Be nice"! The forum's there so that people can help out, not insult each other...

And for anyone who's not sure what stogiebear was on about ref cleanliness of bums, even in the simplest of homes you find this:



... on which topic I once wrote:

Here I am thinking how clever thailand is attaching a hose to clean the bowl better... Moving on the 26th, using the tool on the 27th, take a step aside please.

[Serendipity2]

Originally Posted by frogblogger

Spot on, stogiebear. And far more hygienic it is too!

frogblogger and stogiebear,

I admit that using the hose IS far more sanitary than using paper but I think the best is the french bidet. What I have against "the hose" is snaking it beneath my posterior to do the deed. Have either of you taken a peek at the bottom of your average seat? Pretty gross. The second best system I encountered has been the Arab or "hamman" system. First you squat rather than sit, facing the little hood wiht your feet on either side of "the drop zone" [they also have regular water closets where the same protocol is observed] In front of you, to the right is a big bucket or barrel of water and a bowl floating in the water. To put it delicately you grasp the bowl in your right hand - NEVER the left - and pour water onto your left hand which then is used to 'refresh' yourself. The bidet IS easier but the Arab/hamman approach is far superior to either the paper or the "little hose". If the toilet area were kept clean that little hose would be great but that area is rarely clean and God only knows the intelligence of the prior users. Give me the floating bowl! I never did think I would be engaging is the discussion of bowel and bowl habits. Every day like a box of chocolate - you never know what you're going to get.

[frogblogger]

My memories of the hammam are rather less pleasant. In particular, they include being squashed flat by a 150 kilo Tunisian lady using something that felt like sandpaper on my back. Give me a Thai massage any day...

[Serendipity2]

Originally Posted by frogblogger

My memories of the hammam are rather less pleasant. In particular, they include being squashed flat by a 150 kilo Tunisian lady using something that felt like sandpaper on my back. Give me a Thai massage any day...

frogblogger,

I've not had the dubious "pleasure" of being squashed flat by a 150 kilo Tunisian lady and I would agree a Thai massage is infinitely superior. I still do prefer, once I got the hang of it, of using the Eastern style hammam with the barrel of water and the bowl. Not keen about aiming a high pressure hose and my bum whether hot or cold is coming out of the nozzle. Still a bidet is much more civilized even though I've not had the experience.