separation advice.

[expatlady44]

Gosh, thank you all so much, i expected a much harsher reaction from everyone to be honest, thanks for all being so understanding! I will let you know how it goes and if it doesnt go well then i will email you steve if thats ok about the abogado.
thanks again everyone, i feel a lot more positive now, and i know i have to do whats best for everyone in the long run instead of just panicking and doing something rash, i will let you know the outcome.

[Caz.I]

Originally Posted by expatlady44

Hi, i'm looking for a bit of advise and i cant find any info on the internet. I am leaving my husband, and returning to the uk, but he has told me that he will not let me take our daughter with me. There is no way our marriage can be saved so i just want to make a new start, we have all been very unhappy for a long period of time.
Does anyone know if he can actually stop me from taking her back to the UK, she was born here but is british as are both me and my husband. I cant stay here in spain as there is no way for me to support us all which is why i need to return to the uk.
I hope someone can give me a spot of advise as to whether he can actually stop me, or give me a link to look into it. Thanks.

Hi there,
I really feel for you and hope you can resolve this. I totally understand having been in a similar situation.
Re the legal advice, if you can afford to get an initial consultation with a good lawyer that will help to begin with and give you more of an idea about what to do. Shop around, but many charge about 50E for that. Secondly, you can actually get legal aid, if you are on a low income or have no income. You need to go to your local Colegio de Abogados office which is in the local court (Juzgado). However, if you dont speak Spanish you will need someone to translate for you.
It does require you provide them with a mountain of paperwork, 6 months bank statements, proof of earnings and mortgage or rent receipts plus usual ID, passport, NIE, residencia, empadronamiento, certificate Catastral (from Town Hall). And all this does take time, but in something like this its worth doing.

From searching the internet on the same subject, I discovered the European Comission website for civil justice, which is great. EJN - European Judicial Network in Civil and Commercial Matters
You can click on the Spanish flag and find out some good information in English about this situation.

From all the lawyers I have seen, and there have been quite a few!, I understand that you cannot normally take a child out of the country that they are habitually resident in without the permission of the other parent. This is down to the Hague Convention (try to Google it for more info).

Personally, I know how difficult it is in situations like this when emotions are running high, but if it is at all possible (and I really didnt think it would be in mine), try to resolve it without it getting to the point where you feel you have to run. It took me 2 years to get an amicable agreement with my ex, but we did it, despite some very difficult feelings between us, and things are much much calmer now. Initially, it is difficult but if you can get to some sort of civil communication, it will make a world of difference in the long term.

We got our agreement ratified in court earlier this year, and if we hadnt been able to agree it, our case would have been contentious, which of course means that the judge decides, which is not always a good thing necessarily, which is another reason why its often better to get something you are both happy with.

Please feel free to PM me about this if you want.
Best of luck,
Caz