Prospects for 16 year old emigrant (with family!)

[lynn]

When we moved over two and a half years ago, my eldest son was 16 years old. We waited until he had sat his GCSEs before we made the move. He was not happy at being uprooted from his friends, his social life (just getting independent) and his beloved school in the UK. He, along with his younger siblings then started at an International school here. It was tough for the first year or so - he is a very sociable and confident young man, so he did make friends with the kids he met through school here, but even so, it took time for him to settle. He hung on to the fact that when his two years in the sixth form were over, he would be going back to the Uni in the UK. The stress on achieving that goal was unbelievable for him and for us as a family. Basically, he could see the stark reality that if he didn't achieve the grades he needed at A level, he would be faced with returning to the UK on his own to try to secure work. There are no viable long term opportunities for kids like him in Spain I'm afraid.
He is now back in the UK at Uni (a proud mum!), and the gamble paid off for us.... From a positive perspective, I'm very sure that the fact that we pulled the comfort blanket out from under him actually did his development a lot of good - he is now much more hard working than he was, and puts much more into everything he does...

If we had our time again, would we do the same?? Well, given that he was always very bright and capable of getting good A levels, I think we would. But if he had been a child not really keen/capable of going on to further education in the UK then no, I'm afraid. He has a good friend here who left the international school at 16 and has spent three years scratching around doing casual work. He's desperate to 'start his life' as he puts it, and is saving enough money to fund going back to the UK on his own and try to get a proper job with prospects.

Personally, from what you have said, I would probably advise leaving the move until your daughter is 18 having given her time to set herself up with employment/training opportunities....

[Pesky Wesky]

Originally Posted by dunmovin

this one ... you are going to have to explain

Love is a great motivator for learning the language and also the culture of a place.
I speak from experience...
However, a serious "love" at 16 isn't always a positive.

[ParadiseSeeker]

Originally Posted by bob_bob

If your financially secure you could stall your trip until your daughter has 'A' levels before uprooting her at what really is a pivotal point in her life, certainly her education. Without fluent Spanish (which she won't learn in two years) her higher education will be in the UK. Playing devils advocate I'd say your really not being fare to the girl and are making a bad move.

Thank you Bob. I totally agree with your point. However, we also have a 7 year old to consider. Ideally, we'd like to have him settled and integrated asap. Our sway is between part-time visits (in the interests of our daughter) and full time move (in the interests of our youngest son - we have a 20 year old son too - he'd move with us in a minute!) It's a dilemma for sure.

Thanks again for your comments.

[ParadiseSeeker]

Originally Posted by dunmovin

1st of all, both you and daughter can relax a bit. (I don't have kids, but if I did, letting them loose in Edinburgh, Glasgow, Paisley or even Ayr, would scare me to death)
In general, Spanish youths seem to have easy going manner and are not a source of worry (annoyance..... yes. with their 50cc motos, with modified exhausts, which can emit an an earpiercing noise of 130 db)

sugestion: voluntary work at an animal shelter or a vet's pratice or similar.....



If you don't mind me asking, which part of Scotland are you from?


Me? I was born in a litlle place south of Glasgow.... married a lovely woman of Irish descent, ******ed off to hong kong, spent 13 years having a good time....then ,one day, said enough is enough.

Thank you for this contrasting input. I guess it's a matter of placing importance on what's important, so to speak. Arguably, life doesn't have to be all about hard work. It could be about living?

I'm sure my daughter would love to spend her life buzzing around on these 'hairdryers', annoying the life out of anyone within ear-shot. Ha ha.

The idea of volunteering at an animal shelter or similar would appeal to my daughter for sure. Thanks for suggesting that.

We're from the East coast of Bonnie Scotland.

My brother lives in Hong Kong. I reckon it's about time he said 'enough is enough' - but that's another story.

Sounds like you have found contentment and happiness.

Thanks again.

[ParadiseSeeker]

Originally Posted by Pesky Wesky

Love is a great motivator for learning the language and also the culture of a place.
I speak from experience...
However, a serious "love" at 16 isn't always a positive.

Ah, that takes us to a whole new level Pesky Wesky - but thank you

[xabiachica]

Originally Posted by ParadiseSeeker

Thank you Bob. I totally agree with your point. However, we also have a 7 year old to consider. Ideally, we'd like to have him settled and integrated asap. Our sway is between part-time visits (in the interests of our daughter) and full time move (in the interests of our youngest son - we have a 20 year old son too - he'd move with us in a minute!) It's a dilemma for sure.

Thanks again for your comments.

your 7 year old would still be fine to move here & integrate in two years at 9 years of age



your 16 year old will struggle so much more - she might integrate (whatever that is) - but she'll have no future

[Pesky Wesky]

[quote]

Originally Posted by xabiachica

your 7 year old would still be fine to move here & integrate in two years at 9 years of age

That's a good point - worth thinking about.

[Seb*]

Let's put it in a simple way. How much money do you have / how wealthy are you really? If you are loaded and are able to support your children way into adulthood and beyond and guarantee them the lifestyle they might want - go for it!

If not, think twice if you want to risk robbing your daughter of a safe future! You are saying you want to move now for your young son and don't wait - is that really the case or is it you who are craving the "paradise that is Spain"? (I am not judging here btw). Waiting another two years to give your daughter a chance of a good education and making her own way in the UK, is a small price to pay IMO and won't hurt your young son at all, at 9 he will still be able to find his way around in Spain.

Let's face it Spain for young adults is one of the worst countries to live in right now. 52% unemployment, this effectively means your daughter has NO (zero!) chance to find a job, vocational education or aprenticeship. And the situation won't recover in the next years, it can easily take a decade or more. And no - Spain is not a paradise - actually it can and often is the absolute opposite.

I could go on and on and on. I could tell you about the non-existing benefit system, no free health care, about the fact, that if your daughter would return in some years without education, she would have no right to recieve benefits back in the UK etc. I could tell you about the rough and hard life that anyone without tons of money (and I am talking big money here!) has to face in Spain. But those stories are on the forum already, over and over again.

So to sum it up. If you are wealthy and are willing to support your children a long way into the future, go for it and see where your daughter stands in 2 years - you will make her life difficult, but not impossible If you expect her to stand on her own feet at 18 and find her own way in life I think it would be absolutely irresponsible to bring her to Spain now.

My family has owned property on the Costa Blanca for over 35 years now, I have been living here full time for the last three years and I think I have seen all aspects of life in Spain now. Believe me - the illusion of paradise in the sun wears off really quick and then you see the reality, like the parents who all of a sudden get told, that their children's school won't re-open next term - that's when reality hits, Spain is in crisis and it is going down fast at the moment.

I might get beaten up for this, but: beside big cities Spain is a good decade behind northern Europe, this surfaces in a lot of areas like the local government structures, bureaucracy, tax system - hell even simple tasks like registering a car! Choices in supermarkets, telecommunication infrastructure and lots more. This life suits a lot of people, but I feel that a lot of "newcomers", who only know Spain from holidays are in for a shock longterm. We will be leaving Spain for the UK at the end of may - we will be back for at least holidays (after all Spain as a country is wonderful) - but longterm? Probably not for at least another 10 years. Personally I have tired of everyday life in Spain and the connected challenges and frustration we have faced.

All these negative points are not a big deal for pensioners, professionals with top paid jobs or jobs that take place outside of Spain, the sun and lifestyle can make up for it to an extend. But for a young adult just starting out in life without any good education this climate can be hell!

[mrypg9]

Originally Posted by Seb*;776387I

is it you who are craving the "paradise that is Spain"?

'Paradise Lost' might be a suitable text to study....

I can see no future for a young immigrant in Spain for many years to come.
The rate of youth unemployment, even in the 'well-heeled' areas, is simply frightening.

[jojo]

Its not just the work/money side of things tho. 16yo girls tend to be shy creatures (unless they're with their friends), so without school, a job or a way of socialising I'd worry more about the fact that she could become a bit withdrawn, bored, lonely and resentful - all her friends in the UK maybe doing "XY&Z" and she cant cos she's in Spain. Ok so she'll have frequent trips over there, but for how long and how long will it be before she loses that closeness with her UK friends. Of course its also a good way to keep her in check, so that she doesnt "go off the rails" as many girls do in their teens, but it wont be easy if she's genuinely unhappy

Jo xxx