I think I am in an abusive relationship.
I used to be a strong fella - smile a lot, social and happy. Now I hate myself, feel well...lost and wounded. My wife constantly barrages me with accusations that I am sleeping with every sheila I deal with just because I am friendly. Where I come from, friendly is normal - unfriendly, unwelcoming and arrogant just don't work for us and I for the life of me can't understand why being polite and respectful with a smile is such a crime? I work in a female dominated industry therefore I work with a lot of women or have to deal with women. I had friends which she didn't like so I no longer have friends. I am able to deflect and defend myself for a long time but now there is just no will to stand and stay firm - I get so infuriated with her accusations, criticisms, assumptions, controlling that I reach breaking point that I can't control. She has hit me and she pushes constantly into my face with her words that I lash out and push her (physically) away from me. I find myself getting so angry at her that I am spitting through my teeth and dizzy from the pressure. What angers me the most is she choses the time when I am with my son to start pushing and as much as I shield him and ignore her, he feels her presence and feels her distaste for me which unsettles him and hurts him.
What can I do?
I have to delete emails, delete phone messages, delete call history of anyone who she doesn't like from my phone and emails accounts. She has access to my emails and phones because if I protect them it validates her thinking. If I keep allowing her access, I chip away my essence even more. She has a private email which I have no access to - she still contacts her ex-boyfriend and discusses how I am violent and how she is scared of me yet I have never hurt her or done anything wrong - I swear to God almightly - I have never touched or thought of another woman in that way yet according to her I've done it several times.
I've even had to go to Etisalat to print off my history for her to "review" because she distrusts me so much yet there was nothing in my history to prove.
I get up at 4.30am and am on the road by 5.30am to Abu Dhabi from Dubai. Work a full day with no breaks and am home by 5.30pm. Look after the little fellow and get him ready for bed by 7pm. Up until recently I was studying till all hours and sleeping very little. Now studies are over and I do my house "duties" so as to spend more time with her but she assumes I changed my routine so I can spend more time talking to girls.
I want her to get help...I want her to leave me and the boy alone...I can't live like this anymore.
I used to be a strong fella - smile a lot, social and happy. Now I hate myself, feel well...lost and wounded. My wife constantly barrages me with accusations that I am sleeping with every sheila I deal with just because I am friendly. Where I come from, friendly is normal - unfriendly, unwelcoming and arrogant just don't work for us and I for the life of me can't understand why being polite and respectful with a smile is such a crime? I work in a female dominated industry therefore I work with a lot of women or have to deal with women. I had friends which she didn't like so I no longer have friends. I am able to deflect and defend myself for a long time but now there is just no will to stand and stay firm - I get so infuriated with her accusations, criticisms, assumptions, controlling that I reach breaking point that I can't control. She has hit me and she pushes constantly into my face with her words that I lash out and push her (physically) away from me. I find myself getting so angry at her that I am spitting through my teeth and dizzy from the pressure. What angers me the most is she choses the time when I am with my son to start pushing and as much as I shield him and ignore her, he feels her presence and feels her distaste for me which unsettles him and hurts him.
What can I do?
I have to delete emails, delete phone messages, delete call history of anyone who she doesn't like from my phone and emails accounts. She has access to my emails and phones because if I protect them it validates her thinking. If I keep allowing her access, I chip away my essence even more. She has a private email which I have no access to - she still contacts her ex-boyfriend and discusses how I am violent and how she is scared of me yet I have never hurt her or done anything wrong - I swear to God almightly - I have never touched or thought of another woman in that way yet according to her I've done it several times.
I've even had to go to Etisalat to print off my history for her to "review" because she distrusts me so much yet there was nothing in my history to prove.
I get up at 4.30am and am on the road by 5.30am to Abu Dhabi from Dubai. Work a full day with no breaks and am home by 5.30pm. Look after the little fellow and get him ready for bed by 7pm. Up until recently I was studying till all hours and sleeping very little. Now studies are over and I do my house "duties" so as to spend more time with her but she assumes I changed my routine so I can spend more time talking to girls.
I want her to get help...I want her to leave me and the boy alone...I can't live like this anymore.