ex brits in NZ

[Ginty]

my hubby and i from scotland moved to NZ in 2005, we went travelling the world, and settled in NZ, got good jobs, made great friends, had an excellent social life, got married in fiji, had regular visits from family, i got pregnant and had our daughter in 2008, we came home to scotland when our daughter was just born, so family could see her, and so my father could meet her as he was terminally ill, with the intent of going back, but we are still in scotland, i miss NZ so much, so does hubby, we were so happy there, both had great jobs, which we could walk back in to, we are doing fine here in scotland, working, making decent money, my daughter is soo sooo loved by her grandparents, who care for her while we work, she loves her cousins to bits, but hubby and i want to come back to NZ now, but we would feel so awful taking our daughter away from her grandparents and cousins and aunts and uncles, in NZ she would just have me and hubby, but would have regular phone calls and probably yearly visits from family,we are so torn, dont know what to do for the best? is it selfish that me and her dad want to go back to NZ, are we robbing our daughter of a normal family life? would it change her personality being taken away from her close family?
just wondering if anyone has been through this or knows anyone who has? and how do kids adapt?
thanks

[topcat83]

My emigrating to NZ was probably the most selfish thing I've ever done - and I still feel guilty.

Am I glad I did it? Yes.
Would I move back permanently? Absolutely not.

Why so many feelings of guilt? I am an only child, and I left my widowed mother in the UK. My eldest son also decided to stay - he was 18. And he has struggled.

I know my Mum was very upset, but she knew that I had wanted to emigrate to NZ since a family holiday when I was 16. And after her initial shock, she was very supportive. I visit the uk once a year, and she has lots of friends who regularly help out. She has decided to stay in the UK, with all her friends, although she has the option to come to NZ if she wants.

My son still has the choice - he has a residents visa.

The bottom line is - it's their choice not to join us. You cannot live someone elses dream life - just your own.

And from your description, you will be leaving a family of aunts, uncles, brothers and sisters behind that can support your parents.

It won't make you feel less guilty - butlive the life YOU want, not the one they want.

And good luck.

[alli406]

Hi, we moved to NZ from the UK about 6 months ago. My husband and i have wanted to emigrate for years but put it off because we didn't want to take my son away from his grandparents.
When he got to twelve years old it just seemed like the right time, now or never, and he was happy to move. One of the main reasons that we came here is that i think my son will have a better life here than in the UK. It is really hard leaving family and friends but it's your life and your child's future, we just keep saying that nothing is permanent and we always have the choice of going back.
It is hard leaving everything you know and starting again but since you have already lived in NZ you will already know that. My son has settled in really well, he is happy at school and has made lots of friends. If he ever really wanted to go back then we would.
We keep in touch almost every day on skype and look forward to visits.
You do feel guilty and selfish at times but in the end it's your life and your choice.
Good luck!